Life is Wasted on the Living

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping....

2011-06-17T11:08:00.002-05:00

Lots going on in life right now.

Working full time still. (Thank goodness)

Doing some individual shows here and there (Next up, "Put my ___ in your ___" with The Mammals)

Saving for a house.

Oh, and Sara and I are getting married!

The Civil Union law in Illinois passed many months back, but it went into effect on 6/1/11. We already picked up our license, and we plan on getting hitched at City Hall sometime in the next few weeks. But THEN --- we're going to gather a bunch of family & friends in January and have a nice big celebration!!!!

Here's the geeky part: I set up a seperate Blog, to keep family and friends informed on details, but also to keep a diary of the plans: http://diannaandsara.blogspot.com/

Nerdy, I know, but also it'll serve as a nice diary and timeline of the events as they happened when we look back later on down the road!!!!

In other news.... patiently awaiting the pre-sale for Paul McCartney tickets.

Cross your fingers for me.

Inspired by something inspirational

2010-10-14T10:01:00.002-05:00

I wrote a great blog post for “National Coming Out day”, and then I left it on my work computer and couldn’t post it on the actual day – so I felt it had lost some luster and I wasn’t going to post it at all.

And then my old friend Jenn Adams posted a truly brave blog post – read it, it’s wonderful – and it inspired me to grab this 3 days old post and put it up.

*******************************************************************

It’s National Coming Out Day, and I have a secret.

You see, I’m not gay.

Wait…what?

That’s right. Not gay. Never have been, and most likely never will be.

You see, I have always always ALWAYS identified as Bisexual. It took me so long to come to terms with how I felt inside. As I was growing up, I knew what “straight” meant, and I knew what “gay” meant. I had never met anyone who was out, but I had certainly seen “gay” represented on TV and movies – heck, I was in theatre – it was always around, even if it wasn’t acknowledged.

But I had never heard of the term “bisexual” – I didn’t know that it was out there, that it was an “option”. Frankly, I just thought that I was weird.

I had boyfriends – long term boyfriends. And I had sex, plenty of it. (sorry Mom & Sara). But I always felt that women were attractive too. I just couldn’t shake it. I was in relationships, and was perfectly happy with what I had, but I would notice attractive men AND attractive women. And I just didn’t know what it meant. I would step back and say, “Maybe I’m gay?”. And I’d think it through – yes, I found women attractive and intriguing…..but I also felt the same way about men.

I came to the conclusion that I must just be sexually perverted. That there was something terribly wrong with me. So I just bit my lip, and tried to stash those thoughts away. I took those feelings and bottled them up, and tried to forget about them. I would avert my eyes and look at the floor whenever I was in the dressing room for a show, or in the locker room before a practice. I didn’t want anyone else to know what I was thinking.

Then, I went to college – and there’s wasn’t a big “A-ha” moment or anything, but I was in a more relaxed mode, as well as surrounded by people who were very different from the rest of the college and were terribly proud of it. My synapses relaxed a bit, and it all just became apparent. And on 10/11/94, National Coming Out Day, I approached my theatre pal Danny Swain, who was the gayest man at Salem State Theatre (Sorry, Brent & Jay, Danny wins…), and I told Danny “I just wanted to let you know today on Coming Out Day, that I’m Bisexual”. And Danny just hugged me and said “That’s GREAT!” And he meant it.

All those years of feeling like a deviant just melted away. I was finally able recognize who I really was, and that THERE WAS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.

So I went forth – and dated men, and dated women, fooled around with men, fooled around with women, flirted like crazy, made some great connections, had some fun times, made some mistakes (as 22 year olds are bound to…), but no matter the mistakes I never EVER felt ashamed of my feelings. Whether it was 6 months of dating or 5 minutes in a bathroom (I’m looking right at you, Amy McHugh), it all made me comfortable with who I am. And as trite as it may sound, it made me a better person.

And I guess I’d like to add that to the “It Gets Better” movement. I’m in a happier place now than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I am proud of who I am and who I love. Sara is a kick ass chick. We’ve been together 9 years now, and we’ve both really grown into the adults we’re going to be while we were with each other. I am living the cliché – everyone always says that the physical attraction and the looks will fade and your partner you choose better be someone you like spending time with. I don’t just like spending time with Sara – I love it. She makes me laugh more than anyone else ever has, and I genuinely enjoy her company, her conversation and her companionship.

I’m able to receive love from Sara, because I first had to love myself and be true to who I am in my heart and in my head.

My head a-splode

2010-08-17T11:45:00.001-05:00

It usually takes something big to boot my ass out of radio silence.

I haven’t posted a blog since April – life has been busy, and I honestly haven’t had much to say lately. Well, not anything Blog-worthy, I’ve of course been quite pithy on FB and The Twitter.

But sometimes a story gets under my skin, and just grates and grates until I think my brain is going to explode – usually due to stupidity and ignorance.

The ridiculously titled “Ground Zero Mosque”.

The rhetoric and bullshit surrounding this whole NON-issue just makes me want to scream. First of all – it is NOT A FUCKING MOSQUE. It is a planned community center. There are plans for a pool, Recreational facilities, a library, child care, cultural exhibitions, a separate mosque (open to all), and a 9/11 memorial and “quiet contemplation place open to all”.

Well, we better close that shit down! How dare they give back to the community and have a place of fucking PRAYER located so close to something that happened that was so ungodly? How can you even THINK about reading in a library or swimming in a pool so close to what Former Governor Dipshit says is “hallowed ground”????

The idiocy involved in this whole argument astounds me. And that it comes from people who have spent the last few years touting the fucking constitution everywhere they go (“right to bear arms!” etc etc), they seem to forget that people have freedom of religion here.

I think Sara said it best last night when she said “So, I guess the next step is that they’ll need to make sure all the Muslims move out of Lower Manhattan – oh, and just to be safe, let’s ONLY allow the relatives of the 9/11 victims near the site”

I had been thinking how ridiculous this whole argument is, and hadn’t really had anyone to chat about with this – and then my pal Bilal re-tweeted a link to a NY blogger who visually put into words everything I was thinking. See the post here (http://daryllang.com/blog/4421) . Absolutely brill. Now some others have picked up the story (http://gawker.com/5614428/the-hallowed-ground-near-the-ground-zero-mosque/gallery/) , and have helped spread the gospel of WHAT THE FUCK.

And the sane and peaceful place amidst all this crazy-ass bluster? The website for the proposed community center. (http://www.park51.org/vision.htm) I urge you to look through it – be informed, see what their plans and their mission are, know that they are good people, and know that they are committed to creating a community center that serves the COMMUNITY.

Note to American Theatre magazine:

2010-04-23T09:27:00.000-05:00

I got a survey emailed to me from TCG, wanting to know why I didn't renew my subscription to American Theatre. Here's the thing: I tried a subscription for a year - I just assumed it would keep me up to date on a lot of the goings on in the theatre industry and don't get me wrong, it did in some ways. I just got irritated that the coverage in the big feature articles were always very New York-centric. There would be an occasional short article on some regional theatre that was doing something different or outside the box - but that would be it.
In the survey, they asked "What was your NUMBER ONE reason for not renewing?". None of the multiple choice answers worked for me, and there was a "OTHER: explain" with a blank space to fill in.
This is what I wrote:
"TOO MUCH NEW YORK! You need to come to grips with the fact it is no longer considered the "hub" of new theatre that it used to be. Your branching out to other cities/regions needs to intensify. It's called AMERICAN theatre magazine, but you may as well call it "NEW YORK Theatre Magazine, with an occasional bone thrown to Chicago/LA/Seattle/St Louis/ et.al.” "

Days go by

2010-04-20T14:14:00.000-05:00

Sara said last night to me “You need to update…”

I was confused and said “update???”

She said, ”…the BLOG…”

Ahhh… yes…

Last Blog entry almost 2 months ago.

Well, it’s not like I’ve been sittin’ on my butt doing nothing!

After closing Hopper on the 21st, we moved the next weekend, then I had one week off where we did some organizing of the new place, and then jumped feet first into a new show on March 8.

I’m stage managing at The Side Project – it’s a new play called “People We Know”. One of the reasons I’m completely loving this is that the entire group consists of people I have never worked with before. Adam Webster, the director, directed me in a silly 10 minute play for a festival and that was AGES ago. I’ve never worked with any of the actors or any of the designers – which is great. Meeting new people, creating new contacts in theatre. Making the community of ME bigger.

I know it sounds weird because the show hasn’t even opened yet, but I’m already keeping my eyes open for the next gig. I like being able to plan ahead and know when the next “thing” is. Plus, if I keep my eyes open early I can have more projects to choose from (hopefully). If anyone is in need of a Stage Manager after July 1st, you know where I am.

Sara and I are going on a KICK-ASS road trip in June after PWK closes. We’re heading first to the Mount Rushmore area and spending a couple of days there, then swinging west and a little south to Cheyenne for a day. Then we head further south to Denver for about 3 days, and then we head directly east across Nebraska and Iowa and head home. Both of us have never been to ANY of these states, and they all seem like the perfect road trip kind of places, with great views from the car. We’re so excited. And, as a cherry on top, guess what team the Colorado Rockies are playing while we’re in Denver? That’s right…. The Red Sox. It’s like a dream vacation.

More to come….

Moving on up...

2010-02-26T12:44:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is the day --- The movers arrive at 9am. This is my first time ever using movers - I'm PSYCHED to not have to carry heavy objects up 3 flights of stairs. Yeah, our new place is on the 3rd floor. Awesome exercise when you coming and going from work --- awful to be carrying a box full of books!!! So, they come at 9. Sara and I will be filling the car with some smaller stuff (plus the TV - we want to take full responsibility for our expensive set....), and following behind. If things go fast (damn you impending snow), the movers should be done by 11, and we should be done completely by the end of the day (we can move slower...we're not on the clock!). I'll take pictures and post them of the new place, I promise.

On a related note, the condo we've lived in for 3 years actually belongs to a good friend of mine. He and his family moved back to Massachusetts 3 years ago, and we moved in just after they left. Now that we're leaving, he's trying to sell the condo. It's a great condo - if Sara and I were interested in a condo, we'd buy it ourselves. Here's a link to some more info about it, including some kick ass pictures. It is priced to sell as it is, but he is more than willing to entertain offers. Let me know if you want to contact him, or if I can put you in touch with the realtor, Connie, who is super nice.

PEOPLE OF CHICAGO!

2010-02-19T13:47:00.001-06:00

I'm not sure if you're aware, but there are only ***3*** more chances to see our smash hit, "The (edward) Hopper Project". I am ridiculously proud of this production, and while I was only a small cog in the wheel, considering the massive numbers of people involved, I still know that my cog was NECESSARY.
(info and tickets - click here)

There are several pictures I could have used for this post, as we've had a bunch of pictures taken by a bunch of different people, but this one is by far my favorite. It sets the tone for the kind of show it is (dark but intriguing), I love the lighting (well done, Mr. Durst), the costumes are kick ass (woo hoo Rebar!), and these are truly 2 of my favorite people (not just in the show, but in life...). This little moment that Joe & Merrie's characters share is one of my favorite moments in the show, it's largely silent, and lasts only about 20 seconds tops. Brilliant.

(Photo by John Sisson - http://www.sissonphotography.com/ )

2 cents on diversity

2010-02-18T12:21:00.001-06:00

There are far more intelligent discussions on diversity happening, for instance at Don's place, 99 Seats, not to mention the daily discussions on RVCBard's Blog. I don't consider myself even a SMIDGE smart enough to engage in this discussion. Sure, I would love to see some more diversity in Theatre, and Art in general, but I have no idea how to accomplish that.

Here's the ONE thing that has always needled me in the back of my brain, though. Cultivating diversity is a broader topic than just in the arts - how can I be expected to seek out and cultivate diversity in the arts when I'm not even doing it in my daily life? (and I'm sure I'm not alone). Personally, I need to refelct on MYSELF, and work on my stereotypes and pre-conceived notions that cloud MY head before I can work on coming up with ways to diversify an entire arts structure. Before we are artists, we are humans. The same white people who try to champion "Diversity in the Arts" are the same people who would change train cars if a group of black teenagers came on, or would cross the street to avoid a group of young hispanic kids. Do you look black people in the eye on the train or the bus? Do you choose to stand on the train rather than sit next to the black man?
I include myself in these questions - I *AM* that person. I am ashamed to say I have thought these thoughts. I don't know where they come from. Society? Upbringing? Personal experiences? Probably a fair helping of ALL of those things.
My growth as a HUMAN includes me now sitting anywhere on the bus or train, regardless of my seatmate. I don't change cars, I don't cross the street --- I look EVERYONE in the eye. And I even try to smile at all of them (depends on the mood - PMS usually derails Happy Dianna a little...)
Not looking for a pat on the back, or a parade proclaiming "Dianna is a CHAMPION of trying to bust through the stereotypes she has in her head! Good for her!". This isn't about how OTHERS percieve my changes in thought and action, it should be about how I percieve them. And I while I feel I've made some baby step style progress, I still feel I have miles to go.

At a recent post on Don's blog, Jesus left the following comment:

"Well, when I read all these discussions about diversity in theatre, and how we can expand the presence of minorities in casts and in the theatre as a whole, it feels like watching people wonder how best to spruce up the siding on a house that has no foundation. It all sounds great and pretty, but those communities have bigger issues than how many of their residents are on stages across the city."

And that sums up how I have always felt about this issue....diversity on the stage is the new vinyl siding, but the issues of racial equality and the breaking down of stereotypes is the FOUNDATION.

People, we can't make our house look pretty on the OUTSIDE unless we fix the INSIDE first.

The Facts (again)

2010-02-16T09:56:00.001-06:00

I blatantly stole this from Brownlee about 3 years ago.

This is the third time I’ve updated “The Facts”

I am 35 years, 0 Months, 9 days and 10 hours old

I have lived in Chicago (total) for 8 years, 5 months & 20 days

I lived here in 99-01 for 1 yr, 11 mo & 5 days

I moved back here in 03, which now equals 6 yr, 6 mo, & 16 days (and counting)

I have lived in 5 different apartments – but I’m moving to apartment #6 in 2 weeks

1 of them I simply moved from upstairs to the downstairs.

In only 1 did I not have a room mate

Sara and I have been together (officially) since August 9, 2001

I have worked at my day job for 6 years, 5 month, 15 days.

I have produced 4 shows in Chicago.

I (still) have mixed feelings about all of them.

I have been in 1 play since college.

In it, I played mother to an actor who was only 8 years younger than me.

I knew only 1 of my great-grandmothers. She still spoke with an Irish brogue.

I have been to many funerals.

I am 2 degrees from Kevin Bacon. (Although it’s been almost 3 years since I typed this originally, and I can’t remember the connection)

I have skied many mountains many times.

I have owned 3 cars.

I have been in 2 car accidents. (::knock wood::)

I have ridden in 1 ambulance.

I have had 0 moles removed.

I had a throat abscess “lanced” when I was 16. My only hospital stay to date.

I am about 20 credits shy of a BFA in Theater.

I keep in touch with a few friends from high school.

Facebook changes that number from time to time

No offense to all ya’ll from EHS, but reconnecting with Shayna has been the best.

I actually enjoyed my 10 year reunion, and frankly am looking forward to the 20.

I have many fillings.

I have 2 missing teeth (thankfully, not in front)

I have had 0 broken bones. (::knock wood::)

I have been in 1 fist fight.

I have lost 1 fist fight. But became best friends afterward (we were 12)

I have never shot and killed an animal.

I have visited 19 states. This includes airport layovers, which count in my book.

After our planned road trip this June, that number will jump to 25.

This does not include Puerto Rico, which is not a state (yet). But which I have been to. But again, doesn’t count (but should…)

I own more movies than I can count anymore.

For the move, I am actually giving away a lot of them. While I love them, I don’t watch them the way I used to. And MAN, do they take up space. And they are HEAVY.

Pitchers and catchers report in a matter of days. That fills me with glee.

Friday

2010-02-05T09:36:00.000-06:00

Just gotta keep sayin: "Good stuff on the horizon, good stuff on the horizon"

I've defintely had a week. The normal jabs and uppercuts of life have connected a little bit better due to my PMS - so, something that would normally just aggravate me for a little while and then fade, well, now it's bringing me to tears. Yesterday, I was so keyed up and stressed out I was choking back tears the entire 15 minutes I was shoveling my pre-show dinner in my mouth (yeah, see how I only had 15 minutes to relax and have dinner? icing on a shit day). Dealing with shit I shouldn't have to deal with, compromising on something only because I was guilted into it, spending the last hour at work dealing with ALL of this so that I left work late (hence, not a lot of time for dinner). What a crap freaking Thursday..

In the "life is good" column, though, I always have to remember that my cup pretty much runneth over. I have a well-paying stable job, where I have seniority, vacation & benefits (yeah, benefits for Sara too...). I have a roof over my head, a nice place to boot, as well as nice material things that make me feel comfy and cozy when I am at home. Best of all, I have Sara. I mean, I get home and she can see the stress on my face and she just wants to give me a hug. Never mind that she got home from work at 8 (she goes in at 7am) and she still had to do a full night of homework before goinmg to bed and doing it all over again tomorrow. She came to bed after I did, and she gets up way before I do. She's a rock star. :-)

So maybe I just feel bitchy and cranky ... maybe I need a vacation ... maybe I just need for it to be the weekend alrready... wait... it's Friday? Well isn't that just fan-freaking-tastic!!!!

35

2010-01-29T11:03:00.000-06:00

I stupidly remembered why this birthday means more, why 35 for some crazy reason, is depressing me more than 34 did, and more than I suspect 36 will.

In exactly 9 days I'll be the same age my dad was when he passed away. Jeeeeez.

It hit me like a ton of bricks as I was falling asleep the other night. I was drifiting off, and I was thinking about my dad, and there it was. Dan Driscoll, dead at 35. It's one of those things that drifts along the edge - you can't quite reach it, but you know it's there, you know? I guess my subconsious always had a problem with turning this age, and I just had to pry it loose. And it was defintely bugging me. I mean, I don't feel old, or even old-er. I feel so normal, like I haven't even really aged in the last 5-8 years or so...So I just didn't understand my pre-occupation with 35.

But when it hit me, it really hit me. Sure, I cried a little. Anyone who knows me knows it doesn't take much for that to happen, really. It just made me so....sad. I look ahead to my life down the road, I see me and Sara, I see a kid (or kids), I see a house... I see contentment, and comfort, and LIFE. About 2-3 months after his 35th birthday, my dad first noticed the lump on the back of his head. It all went quickly downhill from there, and he was gone 9 months later. I've always wondered how I would feel in that situation - and now, at this age, with all the joy and gifts I have in this life, I wonder what it would be like for me NOW.

There is truly nothing I can do about it except embrace my birthday. Embrace my age, and embrace that number.

Away away

2010-01-22T10:45:00.000-06:00

Been away for awhile. Opening a show, dealing with life, finding a new apartment.

The Hopper opening went really well - lots of words of praise. Everyone all around really seemed to enjoy it. I'm really very proud of the show - it's ambitious, and scary and awesome all at once. And the food props are crazy but manageable. I'll survive :-)

The life stuff? hmmm.... I'm not comfortable blogging about it yet, since it's not my news. Just suffice to say some sad things afoot for Sara's family. Really kind of knocked us all for a loop, and we're all still dealing. Sad stuff, but a little personal right now. I guess that's probably one of the hardest things - not being able to unload about it. Well, think good thoughts. That's the best I can do.

New apartment has been found - we're in the process of getting the cashier check together for the first month. It's a HUGE one bedroom in Edgewater. (Right at Clark & Granville, just across from the Raven Theatre). It has a huge seperate dining room, which is important considering the behemouth table we just bought last year - plus it will give Sara the space to spread out and do her homework. Huge living room, big bedroom, 3 walk-in closets, heat included... and we'll be paying $315 less each month in rent. Savings account for house downpayment, here we come! Even if we ONLY banked that 315$ difference each month, at the end of our 3 year goal we'd have 10 grand for a downpayment. And trust me, we DON'T plan on just banking that difference.
We'll have a little overlap... our lease begins at the new place on 3/1, and our lease at our current place ENDS on 4/1, but it does give us the flexibility to move at our own pace, turn things off and turn others on at a slow pace as well.

Something that's been on my mind. During a weekend brunch trip to Ann Sather in Andersonville, Sara and I wanted to show her mom one of our favorite stores, Four Sided. It's this cool store that does custom framing, but also has these cool art pieces, antique items. It's really a one-of-a-kind store. Except of course that they have 3 locations. You know what I mean, though....
Anyway, while there, I noticed a print on the wall and asked about it... the staff told me it was this local artist Shawn Stucky, and I have to say I REALLY love all of the things I've seen of his so far.
This is the print that was on the wall. Awesome, right?

Not ready yet for the next box

2010-01-06T12:35:00.000-06:00

Took a quick survey yesterday online.... at the end it asked if I were female or male, whether I worked full-time or part-time..... and of course, which age bracket do I fall under.
So for the next 31 days, I fall under the "25-34" range.
On February 6th, I start to mark the next box.

A small part of my heart just died.

Dianna's Inconsequential Year in Review

2009-12-29T15:49:00.000-06:00

My Lame Year-End blog post - Hurrah!

I’m not nearly the prolific blogger some others are, but I occasionally have some nuggets of humour and truth. I’ve read over most of my entries for the year (it is REALLY slow at work), and here are some of the highlights of 2009.

January
- I still get a little misty, reading over my blog entry about New Leaf’s production of “Touch”. “..I told her I was so sorry for being so out of sorts, and she just held me and stroked my head while we fell asleep…”

February
- The photographic evidence of my annual “slip and fall on the ice”. This year’s was a doozy. Well, actually every year is usually bad, but I had a trusty iPhone to take my embarrassing pictures, so maybe this year’s just FELT worse. Who knows.

March
- One of my favorite entries of the year – taking a personal topic and putting something shitty I did out into the wide open. And while the results aren’t what I’d like, it’s not for me to push the issue. It’s certainly better than it WAS and that alone is wonderful.
- Also in March, I chronicled my stupid month-long healing process from my slip on the ice. I should be put into incubation whenever I sprain something – I’m just a danger to myself in the healing process.

April
- Hahahaha! My entry about my root canal! Hilarious!

May
- The blog entry where I take the date of my father’s death and kick it to the curb. Love it.

June
- Ah yes… the “Sara decided she doesn’t want to move to Florida” post. It still bums me out a little. Mostly because it's sub-zero temperatures right now.

July
- Wow…. July I was on a roll with the political rants:
        o My own personal health care costs
        o My thoughts on the arrest of Professor Gates
        o And then my disgust at the Birthers movement. Blech.

- I did, however, have some enjoyable times, like our trip to NYC. One of my best times all year. Loved that vacation. Best part was that Sara had never been, so I was able to experience the city again through her eyes. And it was July and MILD fer crissakes. It was a miracle.

August
- Anniversary post wherein I make an amusing parralel between photography and the steadfastness of a relationship. I know, I'm a nerd.
- Saying goodbye to Teddy Awful. 'nuff said.

September
- I appear to have opened a show that month? I have a couple of blog posts about lack of sleep as well as trying to not eat a million things during tech week

October
- My most prolific month of the year – 12 whole posts!!!! That’s an average of more than 2 a week! (hahahaha) Anyway, I am particularly fond of my post with the pic from my Bro’s wedding. I still think I looked smokin’ in that dress.

November
- Love this post about a poster that Jenn had when we were in college.

December
- And then I round out the year with my take on the utterly depressing and absolutely magnificent film version of “The Road”

2010 hopes to be a year of some changes. Sara and I are moving to a smaller (cheaper) apartment, with the motive of saving as much money as possible for a down payment for a house. We have some neighborhoods in the city that we like, and we think we’ll be able to snatch a good foreclosure or short sale property and get some bang for our limited bucks.

Many babies on the horizon…. Sara’s sister is currently pregnant with twin boys, so we’ll have nephews coming out of our EARS (When they’re born, that’s “Nephews 5 – Nieces 0”, not that we’re keeping count). Plus, our great friends Mace & Thales are expecting a baby girl in early summer. Hooray for lesbians having babies!!!

Sara will be entering year 2 of college – with the added bonus of having more responsibilities at work (she got a big raise & promotion a couple of months back). I’m sure it’ll be stressful, but with someone as charming as ME at home, how could it be all bad???

I artistically start off the new year on an incredible high note…. We open “The (edward) Hopper Project” on 1/15. All signs point to awesomeness on this one.

I have a couple of other possible artistic ventures in my pocket, but until they’re definite, I’ll just keep them there in my pocket.

In a little over a month I’ll be 35. I haven’t had any problems with that number until very recently. And it’s not even really a problem, more like an itch in the center of my back that I just can’t get to. I mean, time marches on, so what…. I just want to be sure I’m doing things I love to do and spending time with people I love to spend time with. Period.

So a toast to 2009, and a tip of the hat to the coming 2010.

Really???

2009-12-23T13:41:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, in the comments section of Don’s blog, I was referred to as a “foul-mouthed fatty from Boston”.
That is such an accurate depiction of me, I’m really not sure I can pissed off at it.
(although “fatty” is a tad harsh… I prefer “tubby” personally)

Hopper's got a poster

2009-12-22T11:34:00.000-06:00

As I head off into the holiday season, I bring this FREAKING AWESOME PICTURE.
(set your calenders folks, Hopper opens in 24 days)

poster design by Regan Davis

Back in the saddle again....

2009-12-17T17:27:00.000-06:00

So I kind of took a flying leap off the Weight Watcher wagon over Thanksgiving. It was a whole week of trying our best but failing miserably to say no to everything.

"wanna go out for dinner?" "sure!"

"want some more sweet potatoes?" "Sure!"

You see the pattern here....
Anyway. I gained back a little bit of what I had lost. Then it was hard to get on the wagon again, as it were. So here I am, almost a month after my last RECORDED weigh in, and I finally shed off the few pounds I put back on AND came out the other end with another pound and a half lost. Best part? it FINALLY put me over the 30 pound threshold. Woo hoo!!!!! (check out the updated tracker to the right--> )

It was a little depressing trying to get back into it over the last few weeks, but I just did the best I could and finally have some positive things - hooray!

Now, Christmas is looming. However, it is just a 2 day bump in the road as opposed to a 10 day gluttonous road trip. And honostly, after our 8 hour christmas cookie baking session at Sara's mom's last weekend, I don't want to see another christmas dessert or sweet for a LONG time.....

amen.

"You have to keep carrying the fire"

2009-12-11T11:53:00.000-06:00

Back in October, I posted how excited I was to see the upcoming movie version of Cormac McCarthy's Pulitzer-Prize masterpiece, The Road.

So, on Monday night, Sara and I got our tickets and sat in a quite empty theatre (thank god) and beheld the depressing tale. I actually warned Sara in advance, as she hadn't read the book - I told her it was pretty depressing, and if she wasn't interested, I'd understand. She was all for it.

The movie is (overall) very loyal to the book - I only spotted maybe one or two things out of place (tiny) , plus the expansion of the wife character while not in the book was actually pretty welcome. The juxtaposition of the wife, who would do anything to get away from the apocalypse, and the husband who would hear of nothing but trying to survive it, it helped really show both sides, and makes you contemplate - in that situation what would you do? Would you give up, or would you always have one thread of hope?
The loyalty to the book was tested in one haunting scene. The book describes, in morbid detail, the Man discovering a wealth of half-eaten bodies in the basement of a home. The thing is these "people" are still alive (gotta keep the meat alive and fresh), and they have parts that have been hacked off one at a time to be eaten by the home owners who have resorted to cannibalism. I was so afraid they wouldn't show the scene in the movie, or back off it some and not give the full impact of what he had found. They didn't. It was haunting, visceral, bloody, and awful...and it had to be there.

There was so much I loved, it's hard to digest it all - my "cry" moment was after the Man made the thief strip down and give him all his clothes - and he left him there, shivering. The brutality of the moment was awful, and yet I also understood his reasoning for doing it.

Viggo is great, Charlize is surpisingly great and the boy is killer.
(there's also a couple of great cameos I had fogotten about - people who were transformed so well that I could only recognize them by their VOICE)

If you loved the book, you won't be dissapointed, I promise.

"I told the boy when you dream about bad things happening, it means you're still fighting and you're still alive. It's when you start to dream about good things that you should start to worry" - the Man

How Effing Exciting is THIS?

2009-12-07T09:55:00.000-06:00

I mean come on, how often is it that the show you're working on has those cool BANNERS put up on the lightposts by the city? Well, when you're doing your show at the DCA, I guess that can happen!!!!
Hooray! I guess the only thing cooler is if you're Mary Jo Bolduc or Erin Orr, who are IN the picture and now have their FACES on those lampposts!!!!!

Outside....looking in.....

2009-12-04T14:49:00.000-06:00

THIS to me is what Hopper will be all about.

(image from Rear Window, 1954)

Leaving for points due east

2009-11-20T17:35:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow morning, Sara and I are leaving to drive to Boston for Thanksgiving. I'll have my laptop with me, but I'm sure I won't post any blogs.
I always say I will and then I never do. I'm sure I'll be posting pics and travel updates to facebook and twitter, so if you follow me there then you'll be a-ok.

Looking forward to this vacation - I've only had small doses of Boston over the last year, and I'm needin' my fix!

We leave tomorrow with hopes to be on the road by 6am at the latest. The cool thing is as soon as we cross over into Indiana, we lose the hour, so we're ahead of the game! The first day, we'll drive till we get to Syracuse (about 12 hours) and spend the night there. Then we'll sleep in a little on Sunday, and drive first to Sturbridge to spend the night. An old Salem buddy of mine runs a country inn there and has comped us a room for Sunday night (working for hotels rocks some of the time!), and we have plans to try and hit some of the nice antique shops from that area! Then, on Monday we drive to our hotel right outside Boston, where we park it for the next 6 nights. Hangouts with family, friends and a couple of bottles of wine will take place over those 6 days (plus, throw in some gambling and we're all set!). Then on Sunday the 29th, we leave early in the AM and drive for 12 hours - this will get us to Cleveland, where we'll spend the night Sunday. Monday morning the 30th, we'll wake up and drive back into the city, and then we're back to work on Dec 1st.

can't.
wait.

...and on a COMPLETELY seperate note.....

2009-11-19T15:19:00.000-06:00

This poster excites the SHIT outta me....

The rumor is that the premiere will be 1/20....
I have a huge TV.....
Who's coming over????????

Speakin' my language

2009-11-19T12:27:00.002-06:00

Don's post today is all about my FAVORITE THING.

Swear words.

Don says: "Favorites include "douchebag," "asshat," "shit stain," and, of course, any variation on the word "fuck." The Irish can use these words like Yo Yo Ma can play an arpeggio and I consider myself a near virtuoso."

A-fucking-men.

I have often told Don that his speech just goes over my head, much like the TV show 'Deadwood'. Back when it was on, I would talk to people that would say "Oh that Deadwood - I just can't get past the language, it's so coarse and vulgar!" And honostly - I don't hear it. I spent my life listening to a group of intelligent Irish souls (my family) weave obscenity into conversation like an oriental rug maker. Swears were just a part of my vernacular. I never actually realized how much I swear until I moved to Chicago. Not that it has changed anything - I still swear like I never moved.

Next week, I return to the mother ship for the holidays - and I promise that when I return to Chicago not only will I probably be swearing more, but my speech will lose all of it's "r"s. But that's a post for anothah day.

Reminiscing on a poster

2009-11-05T13:46:00.001-06:00

Today, I was emailing back and forth with my pal Dennis, and I referenced a poster that Jenn Adams used to keep on her wall back in our college days. We used to discuss it often back then. The poster was called "How to Be an Artist" and it had a bunch of cool things on it like "swing high on the swingset" and "hug trees". Totally hippie, right? We would laugh at some, and fiercely embrace the others. The one that we would quote back and forth to each other all the time was the one "Do it now. The Money will follow".
I was only referencing it in the first place because Dennis was laid off recently, and I was trying to let him know that sometimes as long as you're passionate about what you're doing, the rest is just gravy. And then it reminded me of the poster, and of some of the fun times we would have sitting around and reading off the "How to's".

Now, in me and Jenn's case we would use the phrase all the time on each other as a basis for choosing one thing over the other. Should I call in at work? Should I buy this sweater? Should I forgo paying this bill so I can do something more fun?
Sometimes stupid, and sometimes inspiring, we would still quote that line to each other even years later, after college, after we'd moved from Massachusetts out to Chicago together.

I know that Jenn is married and has 2 kids and has to be uber-responsible now and all, but a small part of me hopes that she still approaches some small parts of her life in the "Do it Now. The Money will Follow" kind of way.

Now pardon me, I'm off to build a fort with blankets.

"Nothin' worth having comes without some kind of fight..."

2009-11-04T12:19:00.002-06:00

I'm so Angry I could punch someone. For reals. I even capitalized Angry.

You were SOOO close Maine. You and Iowa were set to duke it out as which state was the most surprisingly forward thinking. I've visisted you a kajillion times. I've enjoyed your beaches, your quaint cabins, your seafood restaurants, your beautiful forests, and your salt-of-the-earth people.

Now, it's over. You blew it. I will never again spend another dime of my heard earned money in your state (which will be difficult, as my own mother lives there). LL Bean outlet store? suck it. Shops in Kittery? suck it some more. Every mom and pop outlet leading from the highway to my mom's house? suck it, suck it, suck it some more.

How can you look at me and the love of my life and say no?
How can you honostly say that my happiness 1,000 miles away from you in Chicago has ANYTHING to do with the "sanctity" of your marriage?
Nearly 53% of you think that somehow protecting your marriage is more important than MY RIGHTS.

look at this picture, Maine

Does this picture of Love and Devotion spell out hellfire and damnation for you?
and if so, why?
How can you see anything but true love here? and how is that wrong by anyone's account?

I've tried over the years to understand where YOU are coming from, but now I'm done doing that, I'm done trying to be NICE during what constitutes a removal of my RIGHTS.

In fact, you know what Maine? FUCK YOU.

1:58pm 11/4 EDITED TO ADD:
Peter Sagal posted a link to an editorial piece by Andrew Sullivan that helped soothe the beast inside me. Let me be clear...it soothed, but did not heal.
It's a good read: http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2009/11/the-pain-in-maine-ii.html

Closing Weekend for 12 Ophelias!!!!

2009-10-30T16:42:00.001-05:00

only 2 more chances people..... get with the program!

An "extraordinary paradigm shift that should not be missed!"

-Venus Zarris, Chicago Stage Review

"fiercely sexual and expressionistic" --"Far more surreal and twisted than Tom Stoppard's "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead"
-Hedy Weiss, Chicago Sun-Times

"A visual and sonic feast!" --"12 Ophelias provides moment after unique moment of unique observation and delight"

-Brian Krist, Chicago Free Press

"Verbally kaledidoscopic"
-Catey Sullivan, Chicago Magazine

"an erotic dreamscape"

-Kerry Reid, Chicago Reader

The answer

2009-10-26T14:17:00.000-05:00

“The whole answer is there on the canvas.”
- Edward Hopper

A gentleman and a scholar

2009-10-23T14:57:00.000-05:00

So I'm doing this show, it kind of kicks ass (plug, plug: http://www.trapdoortheatre.com/). We've been getting great reviews, great turnout and GREAT audience response.

Last night, after opening the house for patrons to sit, I noticed a guy come in to pick up his tickets.

HOLY -- EFFING -- SHIT

It was Tracy Letts. If you don't know who he is...seriously, google the dude for crying out loud. The man has pretty much taken Chicago by storm, then packed it up, brought it to Broadway, took NY by storm, won a pulitzer... you know....slow couple of years for him.

Now, please understand.... I wasn't freaked out to meet him, I was freaked out that I would call the show terribly. It's kind of the same feeling back when Brian Dennehy & Eric Bogosian came to see their pal Stacy Keach in King Lear at The Goodman. Sure, I wasn't SM back then, but I was positive something awful was going to happen that day. It didn't, thank god....

So back to last night. I was freaked the whole show - I don't think I've ever been as in tune to listening for cue lines, etc. Holy crap. Well - it went smooth, the show went VERY well - great night for the performers! When the show was over, Tracy went around to all the performers, introduced himself and told each person how much he enjoed the show. What a guy. I got to shake his hand as well.

I was thinking about it today, and it reminded me that he posted a hilarious blog post on the Steppenwolf blog awhile back all about "audience ettiquette' The shit is funny...and sadly, very true.
Take a read if you've never had the chance: http://blog.steppenwolf.org/2007/04/30/1-of-you/

Can't tell which picture is better

2009-10-22T11:36:00.000-05:00

"You gotta have a goal, have ya gotta goal?"

2009-10-22T11:19:00.000-05:00

New weight loss goal explained herein.

Usually when I have figured little weight loss goals so far, I take the avergae weight loss I have had so far per week, and multiply that by either the DATE I want to shoot for or the weight I want to shoot for.

Now, my next goal is 2/6/10, which is my 35th birthday.
It would be freaking AWESOME if I was under 200 lbs by then. However, if I do the math: 15 weeks till my birthday multiplied by 1.5 pounds per week average = 22.5 pounds.... and that only gets me to 211.3. In order to hit the "under 200" goal in 15 weeks I'd have to average 2.26 pounds per week, and that amount just isn't healthy.

So, my goal is at minimum to hit that 211.3 by 2/6/10. If I can over reach that goal just a little, and maybe stretch to 209 or 205, that'd be awesome. I don't discount the aggressive goal of 199, though...I just don't honostly think I can make it there and still stay healthy (I'll hit that goal week halfway through the run of Hopper - I'm sure there's bound to be some missteps during tech, not to mention the ubiquitous opening night beer and wine, etc.).

So we're shooting for the middle. Literally.

Busy day

2009-10-19T17:00:00.000-05:00

....but just wanted to be clear how much I love this picture! :-)

Daniel Driscoll & Jennifer Jacobs (Driscoll)
October 2, 2009

"To Respect the Code"....

2009-10-16T09:53:00.001-05:00

"What's the code?"
"Unit, Corp, God, Country"
"Excuse me?"
"Unit....Corp....God....Country.....Sir..."

So there was a "Storefront Theatre" summit held about a week ago. I wasn't there, but a few bloggers were, and so far the info I've heard has been a little mixed (at best). I withold judgement on the actual substance of the meeting, as I was not present.
However, during the meeting, they broke up into smaller brainstorming groups, and one of the topics that was floated in a group was the idea of a "Code of Ethics". At first, I couldn't explain why, but my back bristled up at the mere thought of a code. It has taken me a few days to formulate a "why" for the back bristling, but here is what I posted in the comments of RebbecaZ's blog:

"Here's how I feel about the code...

In the same time period that we are challenging each other to do more "dangerous" theatre, to take risks and do things outside the box, we're also considering putting together a list of rules and regulations as well?
It all seems counter-productive to creating great art.
Let me be clear, though. I'm not suggesting that creating dangerous theatre includes un-ethical things (actors being late or dropping out, designers not completing work, etc etc), I'm saying that the whole NOTION of a code of any kind, no matter how harmless it may seem in the germination stage, will feel like a stranglehold on the art, IMHO.
I think if a certain idea comes out of the summit, for example 3 theatres teaming up for a festival, and those theatres want to put to paper some regulations for each other for that PROJECT, then have at it.
One of the things I love about Chicago theatre is that we don't fall into a pigeon-holed category. There is a little bit of sum'thin for everyone. I think the idea of all of us agreeing to a set of rules threatens to homogenize us.
I'm now going to go off and find more ways to create thoughts that include "germination" and "homogenize" in the same paragraph. Perhaps a haiku."

Here, however, is the promised haiku.
The first one I've probably written since I learned about haiku in the 4th grade.
Enjoy.

Seed germination

A code of ethics. That sucks.
We homogenize

Spelling errors

2009-10-15T11:04:00.001-05:00

At work, we post the daily cafeteria menu on our "intranet", so you can be either excited or forewarned about the chosen cuisine of the day. Much like high school days, fries and pizza gather the crowds, and chop suey day usually has people running across the street to Potbelly for a different option.

This week, the hotel is celebrating it's 20th anniversary (yay!), and as a special treat, we've had free breakfast provided all week, and we've also had special lunches all week as well (salmon, sliced turkey, yesterday was a great risotto).

At the top of today's menu is our special celebratory entree: Roasted Pork Lion

Dude, talk about the new white meat.

NO

2009-10-13T16:27:00.000-05:00

Tony has a great post today dicussing the GOOD that can happen in saying NO to a project. This is defintely a topic that should be taught to young artists (actors & techies alike). Don't like the play? Don't like the part you were offered? Too much on your plate?
Release yourself from the stress and simply say "no".

Haven't we ALL taken a project, that either gave us red flags, or we felt uncomfortable about in some way, and it all just bit uss in the ass? Next thing you know, you're staring aty yourself in the mirror, counting your worry lines on your face and saying, "I should have said no". I know I've had those moments.

Lately, I have been able to be much more selective - it's a little easier since I have a well-paying full time day job, and I'm no longer affiliated with any theatre companies. Easier to pick a project when there aren't any on the horizon. :-) I'm enjoying the "work from show-to-show" pace I have going.
(I should scan a page from my planner from back when I was working full time, helping Speaking Ring produce, working part time at Blue Man AND trying to do outside projects. I must have been crazy - and I know my schedule wasn't even NEARLY as bad as it can be for plenty of others)
Right now, stage managing for Trap Door....Next up? Stage Managing "Hopper" for WNEP. Days off in between gigs? 10. Thats like a year back in the old days... now it seems really short. We'll only be rehearsing 3 days a week, which rocks my world --- and the DCA theatre is pretty darn convenient for me, since it's a 10 minute walk from my job, and when shows are over it's walking distance to the red line.

wait... I got off on a little tangent here... sorry....

Anyway, being selective has really paid off - the last few projects I've worked on have been so rewarding. Metaluna, The Lost Shakespeare Play, 12 Ophelias... There's just nothing LIKE these projects out there, so I'm psyched that I've been a (small) part of some really wonderful art, something that was sometimes missing from those crazy days a few years ago. (Although as a side note, I love how I actually kind of just STATED that I would be stage managing "Hopper" to Don. I never really asked...I just TOLD him I'd be doing it. To which Don didn't bat an eyelash and simply said "Rock 'n Roll")

I completely agree with Tony, though. If someone doesn't take you aside and tell you it's ok to say no, this is something that can take years to be comfortable with. I know it took me a long time to do it.

"The Road"

2009-10-09T09:26:00.003-05:00

I can't even tell you how much I'm looking forward to this movie. Yes, it's going to be ridiculously bleak and depressing....bring it on!

There's more info at their IMDB page. It's released on 11/25.

Who's comin' with me?

24 pounds and counting.....

2009-10-08T16:13:00.007-05:00

I'm feeling PRETTY good about how I looked at my brother's wedding this past weekend.

(Hello clavicle! I've missed you! I can't REMEMBER the last time I saw you!)

I've got a feeling....

2009-10-08T11:54:00.001-05:00

...that THIS argument's gonna go on all day.....

http://donhall.blogspot.com/2009/10/99-feces-or-response-to-latest-theater.html

http://robkozlowski.blogspot.com/2009/10/flummoxed-caucasian-on-north-side.html

Rainy Days & Mondays....

2009-09-28T12:15:00.002-05:00

Today has been a nice quick 1-2-3 punch of suck

1. cold & rainy

2. It's Monday, so you know, that whole WORK thing

3. period

I got a Chai at Starbucks a little bit ago (non-fat, of course...), and it helped a little bit, but I have to say I'm very disspointed in my ibuprofen's perfomance thus far. We may need to double up and take a couple more.

stupid cramps.

There's no great loss without some gain

2009-09-24T12:44:00.002-05:00

So, last week, I didn’t update my new total weight and weight loss for the week in my handy-dandy little tracker to the right ----->

The honest-to-god reason? I was a little disappointed in my self…. I had gained 1.4 lbs. I know, I know, in any weight loss program there will be times where you lose very little, you maintain, and even some times where you might gain a little. Well I had already had my maintain week, and I had a couple of weeks where I only lost .5 or .8 lbs. This was my first week with a gain, and I was bummed. It was AWESOME to head into tech weekend in that frame of mind. Big fat slob who had to hoist her fat ass up the ladder to the booth about 40 times. I was operating on little sleep (see also: last blog entry) and I was trying SO HARD to stick to my points. Do you know how hard it is to not snack during tech? Especially in a cast this size (12) where someone is always bringing in a bag of candy or a batch of cookies or whatever. I was exhausted all this week, and just simply stuck to my best points routine, mostly because it required so little thought and I had so few brain cells to spare this week.

For this morning’s weekly weigh in I had only one goal. I wanted to have at least lost that 1.4 I had gained the week before. Any additional loss above that would just be icing on the cake. I stepped on the scale, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and then looked down.

Not only did I “re-lose” the 1.4, I also lost an ADDITIONAL 2.6 pounds!!!! 4 pounds total! I nearly danced a jig in front of my poor cats.

I have exactly 3 pounds to go until my 235 goal; for next week, for my brother’s wedding. And I totally think I can do it, I’m feeling VERY good right now!

Of course.....

2009-09-23T12:41:00.002-05:00

....the busiest week I've had at work in what feels like months would OF COURSE co-incide with tech week for me.....

I'm working on a maximum of 5 hours sleep a night, I'm pounding until 5pm to get it done, no overtime allowed at work anymore, gotta get it done by five, have to run to get a bite to eat, swallow down the salad with the lowest points at Potbelly, hop on train to get to theatre by 630, pre-show starts at 745, run of show done at 930, notes in the house for about 15ish, clean up and put away, lock up and head to bus or train at 1030, home by 1130, put away work clothes from my bag from earlier in the day, pick out work clothes AND show clothes to bring with me, refill water bottle, clean out bag and fill with things for the next day, change into PJs, set alarm for next day (630am), hop into bed, kiss Sara good night, roll onto my side and pet my cat Maxwell (who always curls up next to me in bed) while I stay awake for another 15-30 minutes agonizing in my head "have I forgotten anything?", HOPEFULLY fall asleep before 1230am......

alarm goes off at 630am....do it all over again.....

Simmering

2009-09-18T15:53:00.002-05:00

Let me get this straight.....

A young woman makes gang rape allegations against 4 guys at a Hofstra University Dorm. The 4 guys in question are immediatley arrested and their faces and names are plastered ALL OVER the news. This was a rape on a campus about 1,000 miles away from me, and even I knew the details.

Fast forward a day or 2.

"Young Woman" in question recants her story, right after there is evidence gathered (a cell phone video) which confirms it was consentual sex. She admits to police the sex was consentual.
The charges are dropped, and the young men are released.

The police have said they aren't releasing the woman's name.
The reason????

"I believe that it is a question of potential safety for her, and the investigation is ongoing," [Nassau County District Attorney Kathleen] Rice said."

Are you KIDDING ME?
What the HELL kind of double standard is THAT?

Now, I'm all for protecting the rights of the victim, but only when they were actually a VICTIM. This woman is now the criminal (it's against the law to falsely accuse of a crime), and we're sheltering a CRIMINAL'S identity?

And what of these boys who did NOTHING wrong? Who was sheltering them?
The whole thing pisses me off.

September 13th

2009-09-13T10:02:00.000-05:00

In years past, I have written some silly blog entries for Sara's Birthdays (we've celebrated 8 together now), but this one is a personal milestone for her, so I'll dispense with silliness this year.

Happy 30th Birthday sweetie! I love you more and more every day, and I love the family we have become. Each day I have with you is a treasure, and the fact that you put up with me shows you have the patience of a saint!

I love you!

Coming your way 9/24

2009-09-10T10:40:00.005-05:00

The TRAP DOOR THEATRE presents:
The Mid-west premiere of…
12 Ophelias: A Play with Broken Songs
Written by: Caridad Svich
Directed by: Kate Hendrickson
Original Music Composed by: Caridad Svich, Alison Chesley, & Nicholas Tonozzi
Arrangments by: Alison Chesley with Nicholas Tonozzi

Cast: Casey Chapman, Geraldine Dulex, Noah Durham, Jen Ellison, Joslyn Jones, Nikki Klix, Mildred Marie Langford, Kevin Lucero Less, Emily Lotspiech, Judy Loyd, Alyson Lyon, Pamela Maurer

Shakespeare's Ophelia rises up out of the water dreaming of Pop Tarts and other sweet things. She finds herself in a half-remembered land where Gertrude runs a brothel, Hamlet is called Rude Boy, and nothing is what it seems. In this mirrored world of word scraps and cold sex, Ophelia cuts a new path for herself.Combining original music with poetic and colloquial language, 12 Ophelias is a theatre song-poem about being broken by society and love, being lost and finding yourself again.

Assistant Director: John Kahara
Choreographer: Camille Kuthrell
Arranger-Composer: Alison Chesley
Music Director & Assistant Arranger-Composer: Nicholas Tonozzi
Lighting Designer: Gina Patterson
Set Designer: Joseph Riley
Stage Manager: Dianna Driscoll
Fight Choreographer: Mathias Maloff
Graphic Designer: Michal Janicki

Opens: Thursday, September 24, 2009 at 8 PM.
Closes: Saturday, October 31, 2008 at 8 PM.
Runs: Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays at 8 PM.
Admission: $20 (2-for-1 on Thursdays)
TRAP DOOR THEATRE, 1655 W. Cortland Ave., Chicago, IL 60622
Info/Reservations: 773-384-0494
To purchase tickets online: http://www.trapdoortheatre.com/

Absolutely Beautiful

2009-09-03T15:32:00.003-05:00

How beautiful is this chick?

I mean look at her... beautiful smile, glowing skin, gorgeous hair, and that little belly is sexy.

wait....what?

yeah, you heard it. BELLY = sexy

There's some controversy because this pic actually appeared in the pages in (gasp!) Glamour magazine. Untouched.

The peeps at Glamour have stood behind the pic 100%, and have a whole blog post dedicated to how proud they are of the conversations coming out of it.

There are commenters on the blog that are calling her obese. It just pains me to hear it.

Maybe because I'm heavy I'm a little jaded, but I just don't see anything wrong with her at all. In fact, I throw down the gauntlet right now. The model in the pic, Liz, is a size 12. If I can make it down to a size 12....no...wait.....WHEN I make it down to a size 12, I'm posing for a pic just like this one. In celebration of the event, I'm gonna get a big tattoo on my once-large belly that says "Here lies the remains of my former broken self image"
(I'm warning in advance, though.... my boobs are about 10 times the size of this chicks.... I'm jus' sayin'.....)

15 Theatrical Experiences that Will Stay WIth Me

2009-09-02T13:52:00.005-05:00

Awhile ago, Bilal did a meme on this, and Don did a version as well.

The criteria was “15 theatrical experiences that are always going to stick with me, either as a participant or an observer”, and to try and list those 15 in no particular order.
I've been working on mine for awhile. I had the list, but wanted to take the time and describe each experience seperately, whether I was participant or observer.

My apologies for the length.

1) A View From the Bridge (Salem State College Theatre Department, Fall 1993). After 4 years of High School Drama Club, my mom told me I’d be killer in radio (I still think I have the voice for it….), and she encouraged me to do a Communications major instead of Theatre. I think she was afraid I'd be poor my whole life! My first semester in college was rough. I was living with my Aunt, commuting a long distance to school, working a crap job, had just broken up with my boyfriend a few months earlier, and was estranged from my best friend. The ONLY thing I had that was fun was my chorus class. That class alone will need an entire separate entry for another day. Anyway, my chorus pal Todd was a Theatre Student, and I kind of had a crush on him, so when he suggested we go to see the Theatre Departments fall show “A View From the Bridge”, I was totally in. When I walked in the theatre, my first time inside the SSC Mainstage which I would spend thousands of hours in over the next few years, I was initially blown away. The set design (H/T to Jim Fallon) was a perfect rendition of a Brooklyn tenement area. Stairs going up the side of the proscenium to mimic fire escapes – it was amazing, and I was awestruck. Todd leaned over and whispered to me “See those stairs? I painted them.” He was so PROUD to have been even a small part of what was being presented, and it showed. I went to the registrar’s office the very next day and changed my major to Theatre. Thanks Todd…

2) Frankie & Johnny in the Clair de Lune (Salem State College, Senior Directing/Acting Thesis’ – Feb of 97) – This was the senior directing project for my pal Peter Sofronas, as well as the senior acting project for my best friend Jenn Leavitt (Chicago peeps will know her as Jenn Adams, Founder of Halcyon Theatre). As a group, I think we had a blast. I had never seen Jenn & Peter work so hard on something before, and it was inspiring for sure. Also, it was the rawest performance I had ever seen Jenn give. I was so proud of the places she got to in that role (I still am). To this day, if I hear the music, I instantly think of this show. And as a side note, this show proved once and for all that working with real food props SUCKS! Someday I’ll tell the amusing meatloaf incident. It’s a classic.

3) Guys & Dolls (SSC, Spring of ‘99). This good ‘ole musical holds several places in my heart and mind. This was (and still is) the biggest production I have ever stage managed. I had a cast of about 30+, a full orchestra of about 20, a crew of about 15, and *3* (count em, 3) ASM’s (and let me tell you, I needed every one of those ASMs). It was HUGE. It was also my final show I Stage Managed at SSC, I moved to Chicago about 4 months after the show closed. I worked with some of my all time favorite college chums on that one, plus DAG was directing/choreographing, so it was fun too. Dude, I can still hear Matt singing “Sit Down, You’re Rockin’ The Boat”, Eric & the boys singing “Luck be a Lady”, and of course, Bri singing “Till There was You”.

4) Anything Goes (Everett High School, Everett MA – Spring 1990). First show I was ever in. I was in the chorus; I spent a sum total of about 10 minutes on stage, but had the time of my life. I was hooked.

5) Coronado (Steep Theatre - fall of 07) from the moment I read the play, I knew I wanted to work on it. I begged my friend Kevin Gladish to be his Assistant Director. He let me because he took pity on me (Not true, I asked, he said sure, it was great). WHAT AN EFFING CAST! I was always amazed by the performances they gave. And you want to see raw? You should have seen the performance from Karyn Morris (now Brownlee). She astounded me, from the moment she read for the part up until she took her final bow. Amazing.
(Also, I had worked in that space several times with SRT, and had also seen plenty of shows there (Steep and others), but this was the FIRST AND ONLY TIME that the music from the honkey-tonk bar next door blended in so well. )

6) Metaluna…And the Amazing Science of the Mind Revue (WNEP - July/August 2008). ::sigh::
What can I say about working on this show? Such a mixture of emotions. Overall, the best show I’ve worked on in Chicago, thus far. I was amused and entertained all the way up until the final curtain call – those guys were still making me laugh on closing night. And as a Stage Manager, that’s a tall order. I mean, I had been with this material for months, had see it all performed so many times (we’ve all been there before, when the show loses its luster after a couple of weeks.), and I never was bored. It was my first introduction to DADA, and I guess you could safely call it “DADA-lite”? Still some crazy DADA poetry, but a little more plot than the usual DADA plays. I adored working with every one of the cast members, including some pretty freaking superb understudies who got tons of face time (Scotty, H.B. & Regan, I’m looking right atcha!)
For a process that began with Jen Ellison propositioning me to SM Metaluna over a glass of wine at the closing night reception for Raw, and ended with Don Hall giving me what is affectionately known as “the clapper”, this was definitely a crazy ride. I love all my Metalunites. And to them I say “Hairmp!”

7) Soiree Dada, Schmuckt Die Hallen (WNEP - December, 2008). If you never got a chance to see Jen Ellison’s DADA Dabo reign supreme over her rag-tag troupe of DADAs, then you truly missed out. I paid to see this show twice, actually. I went on opening night, and then again on closing weekend. Some moments will be there forever. DADA Grizzle’s speech about his name, DADA Nip’s uncomfortable moment with the baby doll and the audience member, DADA Flutter’s heart-breaking sugar plum fairy dance….but nothing can emotionally prepare you for the final moments. Watching Dabo remove all the makeup, and pack up her things….I cried like a baby each time I saw it. It was powerful and painful.

8) Touch (New Leaf Theatre – Jan 2009). This one is going to stick with me for quite some time. The palpable sense of loss that Dan Granata was able to create in that role was just ….awesome. About 15-20 minutes in I started to cry, and wept silently for pretty much the rest of the show. Then I went home and cried some more. In fact, I was so moved by the piece, I blogged about it (http://allthingsdianna.blogspot.com/2009/01/trust-me-i-was-touched.html), which doesn’t sound crazy now because I’m blogging more these days, but I was a little more infrequent about it then. Anyway…this show was fantastic, it furthered my love for New Leaf Theatre (what’s not to love, really?), and solidifies the fact that Dan Granata is a crazy talented actor and Jess Hutchison is one of the most talented directors out there. Period.

9) King Lear (Goodman Theatre – fall of 2006). This one will be controversial for the Chicago folk, mostly because tons of people hated this show. And you know what, I don’t give a shit. I adored this show. Granted, I’m not one of those Shakespeare enthusiasts who has seen a bunch of Lear before – this was in fact my first time seeing a stage production of it. Where people thought it was “overdone and too lavish”, I said it needed to be that way… how do you compare the world that falls apart for Lear with the opulence of his life before it without seeing some visual aids? Yes, Goodman has more money – but they also had Stacey Keach – who I thought was wonderful, Edmund Gero, and freaking Steve Pickering – who was the heart of the show in my opinion. And the music – I still hear some of the “keening” music during the war scenes in my head. I was on the edge of my seat for a show whose first act was almost 2 hours…. That’s amazing, I think.

10) Little Shop of Horrors (EHS – Spring, 1993). The best show I worked on in High School. And it was the FIRST time, when auditioning for a musical, in the slot that said “If the role you are interested in isn’t offered to you, would you accept a chorus role?” – I filled in “NO”. Needless to say, the fat chick played Audrey. The best part – on the day of opening night, we would always do a ½ hour – 45 minute “preview” of some of the songs for the school. We did “Skid Row” – I’ve never had applause like that for me in my life. I spent all day going to class with people stopping me in the halls to say what a “wicked awesome” singer I was. My favorite hard-ass teacher applauded me when I got to class… it was the best day of my high school life. I still smile thinking about it.

11) Young Mr. Ryan’s Ambition (SRT’s Vitality Playwrighting Festival – July ’05, Around the Coyote Festival – Aug ’05) This one always makes me laugh. The triumphant return to the stage after about 10 years!!! Hahahahah!
It was a ten minute play, and I played the mute, cuckolded wife and mother. It was awesome. I can still picture Austin as the douche-bag son, and Gladish as the slightly retarded hit-man. This show was so much fun to be a part of….and it was all directed by Adam Webster (Artistic Director of the side project). Awesomeness.

12) Rising (SRT’s Vitality Playwrighting Festival, July ‘07). My directorial debut – what a great show! Introduced me to Delaware's hidden gem, Kristyn Robinson (her plays are great). I had 2 great actors, I picked a simple, straightforward script, and I tried to make it as realistic as I could. The festival it performed in was "judged" to select the best play, and the playwright won some dough. Mine won. I was so excited for Kristyn (seriously, find a short play of hers and READ it fer crissakes), and if she ever decides to grace Chicago with her presence, she'll ghet a long overdue hug from me. (Side note, my piece was highly praised by 2 judges whose work I was familiar with but I had not formally met yet - Jen Ellison & Don Hall)

13) Death and the Maiden (Red Wolf Theatre – Spring 2001)
It was the first (and only) time I’ve quit a show I was working on.
I was the stage manager for this show up until about 5 days before it opened. This show was a tough lesson in “How much Dianna can take until she can’t take anymore”. I can still taste the cigarettes I smoked in response to my panic attack. Long story.

14) Crucible (SRT – Fall of 2006)
This show was ambitious in some ways – fool hardy in others, but overall had sequences in it that still give me goosebumps when I think of them (Best opening sequence to a show EVER). We set the whole thing to drums and added in movement for the scene transitions. We had minimal set, but an excellent lighting and costume designer who created visual beauty, a sound design that set the mood in no way I’ve ever heard before – and it all was staged in a church with huge stained glass windows so you felt the wrath of God on you at all times. We got some of our best reviews for that show, and it felt great. (and to that I tip my hat to the notoriously hard to please Jack Helbig)

15) Blue Man Group Chicago (March 2007 – December 2008)
The purists out there call BMG a commercial production devoid of much merit. I completely disagree – sure, I worked there, but this isn’t a “drink the kool-aid” feeling. There were parts of the show that I could watch over and over. The themes of isolation, group mindset, alienation, how to “follow the crowd”; these are all universal themes, and I always thought that BMG handled those with such an artistic flair. Sure, they cover you in toilet paper and spray wet stuff onto the audience, but it’s the WAY they do it that’s ….awesome. And there isn’t a better live band at a theatrical production anywhere. Hands down.
After I had been working there awhile, people asked me what it was like to work there, and I would say without hesitation that it was like being able to work at a rock concert every night. This show fulfills 2 categories I guess. As an audience member, I loved it, and as an employee I loved it. Anyone feel like going to see it some time soon? It’s been awhile, and frankly, I miss it.

4th down and inches

2009-08-31T23:57:00.002-05:00

What do you do when the heart of a team retires?

"Bruschi Makes his Last Play - Boston Globe"

Off to meet his brothers for some sailing....

2009-08-28T11:35:00.002-05:00

I agree Don, this picture pretty much says it all.
Wonderful.

Time may be up for TimeOut Chicago

2009-08-27T14:29:00.003-05:00

I have some bones to pick with TimeOut Chicago. None of it has to do with the reporting, which I find to be top-notch (especially the theatre coverage)

A couple of years ago, I bought a copy of the fairly new TOC on the newstand. I was lured in by their sexy color pages, and their EXPANSIVE theatre coverage. At least one major article a week to lead off the section, plus a ton of reviews, and some pretty comprehensive listings. Plus, those sexy color pictures of shows either being reviewed or already in performance. What's not to love?

So I subscribed. And I LOVED it. I relished getting that copy a full 24 hours before other people. Whether it was a friends show I was anxious to see the review on, or one I was working on, it was nice to know I had a mini-insider pass to see what was thumbs up/down first. Plus the rest of coverage is great - specials on Chicago neighborhoods, new restaurants, new movies, books, music...Every Wednesday after getting home from work I would devour the copy from cover to cover.

Since becoming a subscriber I've had 2 big moments of pause.

First, about 2 years ago, they were running a special for NEW subscribers. $9.99 for the year, sign up now, limited time offer. I went to renew my subscription not long after that.... still the usual $19.99 (which yes, is a BIG savings from the newstand --- but there's something to be said for trying to maintain your current subscribers, you know?). Well, I wanted to support the one publication that I thought was giving the most comprehensive theatre coverage, and so I bit my tongue at the time and paid my $19.99. And since that time, I've renewed at that price again. Yep, no specials for the long time valued customer.... oh well what can you do?

The second....
This one is tough because it's a BIG direct crticism of my favorite section - theatre.
It's not content, word count, or coverage...
It's the exclusivity I used to enjoy by BEING a subscriber that is now gone.
Every Monday, when I hear that the latest reviews are up at TOC.com, a small dagger pierces my heart. And the daggers pierce again on Wednesday, when I get home, pick up my new copy of TOC, and I know that THOUSANDS of people were able to read those reviews before I did, and they were able to do it for FREE.

TOC, I love you, and I love your coverage.
And Mr. Vire, sir, you know that I think you (and Chris before you) do a BANG UP job of getting the maelstrom that is Chicago Theatre tamed once a week so that it's pleasant to the eyes.

However, when my current subscription runs out, I won't be renewing.
Why pay 20 bucks for what others can get for free?

I agree that online content is the wave of the future, and is a completely necessary item. I'm not looking for that feature to be taken away by any means. But making your content available to non-paying customers before the paying ones is seriously a slap in the face. Why can't the online reviews be posted at midnight on Wednesday? or first thing Thursday morning to conincide with the copies being on the newstand?

Saying Goodbye to The Lion

2009-08-26T10:48:00.008-05:00

"...the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die..."

- Senator Edward M. Kennedy
August 12, 1980,
Democratic National Convention

****and as a side note, Massachusetts is now in your hands Senator Kerry. Try not to fuck it up.

Just hanging...

2009-08-19T10:27:00.004-05:00

If my commute to work is timed correctly, there's a guy I pass by about 2 or 3 times a week. As I walk east on Grand from the red line station, I invariably will run into him as he walks west on Grand to wherever he's going. He's a husky guy, wears glasses, looks to be in that late 20's early 30's range, always has the ear buds in.

My favorite thing? The way he holds his cigarette in his mouth. No, it's not sexy, by any means, it's just....different.

He holds it in the corner of his mouth, always on the left side and it just....hangs there....

A lot like this, except his is lit:

I've never seen him inhale, or for that matter EXHALE smoke.... so is it just for looks? Is his a private detective, or a gumshoe reporter from the 30's? Does he watch too much Mad Men?

I'm telling you, this guy intrigues the shit outta me.

I think I may need some new hobbies.

Lifesaver

2009-08-14T13:52:00.004-05:00

I work in a minefield. Seriously.

Anyone trying to lose weight or change their eating habits that works in an office can completely understand where I'm coming from.

There's always someone buying bagels, or bringing in homemade something-something that just has a big EAT ME sign on it.

Well, my work has those things plus a seperate special layer of suck. I work in a hotel - there's food EVERYWHERE. Not as bad as a restaurant, to be sure, but it's on level of stinky.

Earlier this week, the skinniest girl in my office had a craving for Lemon Bars the night before. She made a whole batch, had a few, and then brought the rest in - to sit on the table that is 5 feet from my desk. Today, Sales brought in bagels - not just bagels, but the Cosi "squa-gel" (square bagels), of which the Asiago Bagel is my personal favorite. I abstained. Then later, the catering staff sent out an email to my floor titled "Meeting notes & FUDGE!". Someone just got back from a trip and brought back a big box of fudge. Once again, I abstain. Lunch today? Leftovers from a meeting, eaten standing up in a back hallway. Mashed potatoes? yes I love you, but I'm going to have the chicken instead. Bit size fruit tarts? No thanks, I'll have some slices of cantalope.

And you should see the looks on peoples faces! So dissapointed the fat girl doesn't want their fudge! Sorry dude, trying to live a better life, one day at a time. And one abstained land-mine at a time.

To help combat this, I have a "bag of tricks". Nothing sexy, but some acceptable salty or sweet snacks. Better for me, low in calories and fat, high in fiber.

Someone has chips, or pretzels? I assault you with my WASABI PEAS! or I can also bombard you with my MINI RICE CAKES!!!!!

someone have a candy bar or something sweet? I pelt you with my PITTED DATES!!! or my HANDFUL of CRAISINS!!!!!

But the biggest lifesaver.... it's filling....it's sweet...it's HIGH in fiber (9g) and it's my favorite flavor in the whole world.... CARAMEL.

Dude, the Fiber One Oats & Caramel bar..... I love you man, you save my life almost every day.

"I'm yours...."

2009-08-09T17:52:00.011-05:00

I think the barometer of how good a couple you are is how WELL one of you can hold out the camera and take a GOOD shot of the 2 of you as a couple. (Nothing worse than asking someone else"could you take our picture?", I mean, any old schlub can do THAT)

If you can't hack a good picture of the 2 of you on your own, it's not meant to be.
That being said, I think me and my partner in crime for the last 8 years do a pretty fucking awesome job of taking pics together (Although to be be fair, Sara does the picture taking - but its a logistical thing, the girl's almost 5'10" for cripes sake!)
Anyway, I guess what I'm TRYING to say is, I love you sweetie! Happy Anniversay!
Meeting you a little over 8 years ago was the best thing that's ever happened to me. No one makes me laugh more and there's no one I'd rather be with.

Jason Mraz might say it best, though:
"Well open up your mind and see like me...
open up your plans and damn you're free ...
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love ...
listen to the music at the moment people dance and sing with me ...
We're just one big family...
And it's our godforsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved"

(...and now some examples of how much we belong together)

(Brownlee /Morris Wedding, June 2008)

(Beach Preserve area at Crystal Cove State Park, Laguna Beach, CA - Feb 2008)

(Boat Tour of Lake Eustis in Tavares, FL - Feb 2009)

(On Liberty Island, NYC - July 2009)

(Top of the Empire State Building, NYC- July 2009)

(Weekend getaway to Saugatuck, MI - Nov 2007*)

(*that last one is the best, and one of my favorites... I can't remember whose idea it was to look at each other...but it was a great one)

My kingdom for the snooze button

2009-08-06T11:32:00.003-05:00

Dennis has a great story today about trying to relate a story to his dad... and then waking up.
Love the story.

It reminded me of the time I had the most vivid dream about my dad. I was walking down the street somewhere, don't remember exactly where, and a ways off I spot my dad! He sees me to, and he waves me over. We hug, I'm sure I'm crying, and he tells me he's so sorry that he's been away so long. He explained that he'd been in the witness protection program, and that they'd had to fake his death, yadda yadda yadda. We sit and have coffee and I start chatting about all the tings he's "missed", only to find out that he's been keeping regular tabs on me and has been following all that me, Danny, Sean & Heather have done. (This was before Sean passed away, too). When I say it was vivid, I mean I could hear his VOICE, I could see the twinkle in his eye, he even smelled like him! (weird, but true) We were having the best time - laughing and joking and telling stories...it was all going so great!
(beep, beep, beep, beep, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP....)
That was the sound of my alarm going off - I shut it off, looked around, realized that it had all been a dream - and my heart just broke. It almost felt as if he'd died all over again. I cried and cried. It was awful.
This may sound weird, but I wonder if it sort of explains my fascination with the TV show "In Plain Sight", which is all about the witness protection program....

some of my favorite peeps

2009-08-03T22:37:00.011-05:00

me and Erin Orr

Me and Emily Gann

Me and my big bro, Danny (we're a little drunk here)

Me & my cuz, Martin

(I couln't decide which pic I liked more....)

Nick Keenan, Dan Granata & Me
(about 3 minutes before "Devils Don't Forget" began)

Shoes

2009-08-03T11:01:00.003-05:00

I was going through some pics and came across this one, which I love.

This was taken last summer, during rehearsals for "Metaluna".

It's all our shoes outside the rehearsal room - I can't describe why I love it, but I do.

(photo by Michael Brownlee)

Well, this should help the weight loss...

2009-08-03T10:20:00.002-05:00

Friday when I got home from work, I felt kind of sick to my stomach, and kind of crampy.

The feeling continued throughout Saturday, reprived a little on Sunday, and then hit me again hard this morning. Now, I pulled myself together long enough to brave the CTA to get to work. I'd been through this situation before, but it was in the OPPOSITE direction - ridiculously clenching while running from the train to your house PRAYING you'll make it to the bathroom on time. Today it was the other way....

I was on the platform at Jarvis, watching as the train approached, and a wave of nausea (and a little bit of light-head-ed-ness) hit me like a ton of bricks. I actually had to hold on to something.

I popped a piece of gum, hoping some saliva in my mouth as well some fresh spearmint flavor would douse that nausea. It did. Thank god.

I made it to work, I punched in and promptly found a bathroom.
I feel a little better now (albeit a bit cleansed), so here's hoping.

If I don't feel better by noon I'm out of here.

Birthers

2009-07-27T16:16:00.002-05:00

The centerpiece of any good, robust political system is healthy debate, and part of that debate should be questioning our leaders. While people who don't "like" Obama drive me nuts, I respect the fact that they have every right in the world to dislike him, and to question him when he does things. (you know, unlike when Bush was in office, and those who questioned him were considered Un-American) I welcome it, actually. QUESTION our leader. We put him there, but it is his responsibility to lead us and do the things that are right for us, so when he's going down a wrong path, SPEAK UP for heaven's sake!

Ok, that being said, there's a small group of nutjobs that just chap my ass every time I hear them given press time. You know who I mean... the people who claim, nay, INSIST, that Obama was not born in the US. They are discussed in the press so much that the WH has given them a NAME! They are known as the "Birthers", and completely believe that he was born in Africa, not America. The WH gave in to the stupidity about a year ago, and posted a copy of his Birth Certificate online, they have recieved witness accounts from hospital workers, etc, and have even pointed to a local NEWSPAPER in Hawaii announcing his birth.

There's a great blurb on the CNN.com ticker today about Press Secretary Robert Gibbs shooting down the "Birthers". (article is HERE). In the comments section was a response so TRUE and hilarious at the same time that I was nearly crying with laughter over it:

posted by: Yo morons! on July 27th, 2009 4:43 pm ET

"His grandmother did not say he was born in Kenya–it was his step-grandmother who said that about 40 years after the fact, AND she was not present at his birth.
I feel silly indulging this nonsense; it's like trying to prove a negative. Birthers, can you prove that Bush is not satan? Can you offer me one shred of proof that he is not satan? What's that? No proof?
Can you prove that Rush Limbaugh does not survive solely on the consumption of human flesh? Do you have any proof whatsoever?
Can you prove that Laura Bush is not a robot? And I don't mean your run-of-the-mill wire and steel robot, but a high-tech cybernetic organism designed to conrol your thoughts? C'mon birthers, prove it! I will not be satisfied until you prove it!
The certificate is out there and has been vetted. For god's sakes, devote your energies to helping your communites, or alternatively, learning how to read and operate "the google".
Otherwise, take another swig from your clay jug and remember to holler for Pa when the vittles is ready!"

Salt

2009-07-22T21:47:00.006-05:00

Ever since Professor Gates was arrested (and then released) the other day, I have tried to apply a huge grain of salt to the whole affair. Yes, this is easy to do for me becauseI am white and have never experienced racism - HOWEVER, grain of salt nonetheless.

While it is certainly likely that the officer was simply doing his job and arresting an unhelpful combatitive man, it is also just as likely that the cop was racist and just profiled the whole situation.

And while it is likely that the officer was asking unneccesary questions and not answering Gates' simple questions, it is also equally as likely that a man who has probably experienced racism before approached the entire situation with his OWN prejudices against the cops and wasn't gonna be helpful no matter what.

I was not there, so I'll never reallyknow what happened, so again - grain of salt for everyone involved.

Now, every piece of reporting out there I've seen have all said things like travesty, racism, profiling...no grains of salt from anyone.

Except now.....

Read the following article from Dr. Boyce Watkins (originally appearing on the website thegrio.com). Watkins says: "What is abundantly clear is that this is NOT the case of a poor Black male being exploited by the racist, classist power structure. "

And then there's the picture....

I see a policeman with his hand out trying to calm Prof Gates down....I see Prof Gates look like he's yelling "Help".....I see a black officer in the foreground....I see him cuffed in front (which is actually a sign from the cops that they didn't really feel threatened by him)

what do you see?

ETA - I was just reading over this entry and realized I didn't link to the article.... idiot..."DD"

A loophole just big enough

2009-07-22T09:56:00.002-05:00

Some friends of mine (like Don) have blogged recently about the big "affordable healthcare" issue swirling around politics right now. Sometimes within the debate, the amount of numbers and statistics thrown out there make my brain fry...just a little...
However, I was thinking earlier about my own personal healthcare, which is not bad as far as I'm concerned. I get paid every 2 weeks, and from each paycheck I pay 3.11 in dental, 15.29 in medical & 4.04 in vision.
Sara is on my insurance as well - we are VERY lucky that my job offers partner benefits - and thats for everything. So, there's an additional line item where an added amount for dental, medical & vision is added on just for Sara to pay for HER coverage.

Here's where it gets nutty - follow me....
(in the following paragraphs I am simply being critical of the PROCESS, this is by no means a judgement of my employer - I respect the fact they are doing best they can)

Ok, so since Sara is not a taxable dependant, my job does not cover the TAX incurred with her coverage, so that charge is passed on to me.

Let me 'splain. After my gross earnings are calculated, there is a charge for my employers cost added to my "earnings". And then, my taxes are figured off of THAT total. Then under the deductions area, that charge that is ADDED up above, is subtracted down below.

So, I am TAXED at a higher rate just so that I can have Sara covered. If I were married to a man, I would just qualify for a family plan, and not only would I not be taxed at a higher rate, our coverage could be deducted pre-tax. (right now, my coverage is deducted pre-tax, but Sara's isn't...).
This isn't my job's fault, there is no law in place that guarantees coverage for my spouse. Beause let's be honost - Sara isn't my girlfriend or my "life-partner", she's my WIFE, legally she is my COMMON LAW WIFE. In about 3 weeks, we are celebrating 8 freaking years together. That's longer than either one of my mom's first 2 marriages. We're working on the baby thing (once she's done with school), and thankfully she has decent medical coverage so that we can get good pre natal care, and once the kid(s) are born, they'll qualify for coverage as well.

But I'll be taxed higher....

July 21, 1984

2009-07-21T10:22:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday, baby brother. I miss you....

Favorite images from NYC trip

2009-07-19T19:24:00.011-05:00

Unfortunately, when you're on weight watchers, this is as close as you can get to "the best bagels in the world" ::sigh::

Imagine what the musical world would be like now if this memorial mural had never had to be done.

yeah.... first time face to face with Frida.... kept myself together long enough to take a good picture. Then I sat on a bench across the room and looked at her for about 10 minutes. amazing.

Top of the Empire State Building at sunset.
Nice.

There's a placque in front that reads:
"For three decades this sculpture stood in the plaza of the World Trade Center. Entitled "The Sphere" , it was conceived by artist Fritz Koenig as a symbol fo world peace. It was damaged during the tragic events of September 11, 2001, but endures as an icon of hope and the indestructable spirit of this country. The Sphere was placed here on March 11, 2002 as a temporary memorial to all who lost their lives in the terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center.
The eternal flame was ignited on September 11, 2002 in honor of all those who were lost. Their spirit and sacrifice will never be forgotten.

"Statue of Liberty! I crush your head! I crush your head!

Right near the "registry room" at Ellis Island, they were restoring some support columns when they uncovered a bunch of handwritten notes and pictures scribbled on thecolumns by the immigrants while they waited to be processed. Most things were in a completly different language -but the emotion certainly showed through.

Stealing from Bob

2009-07-17T12:38:00.004-05:00

So, Bob (or, Devil Vet as some know him) does a regular thing on his blog entitled "Favorite Things this Week", and it's usually an image of some kind that he particularly likes.

I'm stealing the idea.

I'll call it something else of course (maybe I'll just call it "stealing from Bob"), and I won't post it every week, but nonetheless posting the images will become more common.

This week, Sara and I went to NYC, and we went to the big museums. There were some pieces of art that astounded me (that Matisse is BIG), and others that moved me (Frida, I love you...), but nothing made me THINK and feel as much as THIS piece did.

The painting is simply called "Woman Ironing", and our pal Pablo painted it in 1904. It was clearly done during his "Blue Period", and it certainly does a good job of evoking THAT emotion for me. I stared at the damn thing for the longest time. I just couldn't get over her left shoulder. that pointy left shoulder. SHe's so thin, and obviously working hard on something. her hair is mussed so I assume she's hot and sweaty. Thin and tired. and yet..... look at her face.... just a hint of a grin.
Amazing.

"I eat too much....I drink too much... I want too much...too much!"

2009-07-17T11:05:00.003-05:00

The 3 people who read my blog know me face to face, so it's pretty obvious when I say... I'm a heavy gal. I sort of always have been.

I've tried a couple of times to track the genesis of my weight gain, and while laziness and poor food choice is the biggest factor, some of my worst habits began when I was younger.

Between 2nd and 6th grade, my mom's second husband's alcoholism was truly spiraling downward. I hated being anywhere NEAR the guy. During that time, I didn't have a lot of friends, so rather than be out of the house all the time, I retreated to my room. This is when I started devouring huge books at a time, and always with a snack in my hand. Always.

I would go to the library and smuggle candy bars in. I would hide candy and junk food at home in my drawers and down it all while reading some 1,000 page book. I started to get a little chunky, and as I slowly put on weight, things got worse and worse at home. By the time my mom threw him out, I was in the 6th grade, and I'm pretty sure I was well over 150llbs. And I also starting developing the twins - my collosal pals up front that made be a TRUE roly-poly (round in the middle and huge on top).

During 7th grade I was having a very rough time adjusting to junior high. The kids were all new, and they were cruel. Time for another candy bar. Plus my dad was really sick that whole year. 7th grade sucked. And then in May, Dad passed away. It kicked me in the pants a little. I started taking better care of myself (um, meaning I showered every day now), and started wearing makeup to school, wearing nicer outfits - trying DESPERATELY to make friends and fit in. I became the funny heavy chick. Pass me another candy bar.

So, bad eating habits, laziness and all that have contributed to BIG Dianna. And then Sara and I got together, and we just always wanted to stay home and eat food (I believe they call that nesting....)

Anyway - Sara and I sort of hit the wall where our collective weights were concerned.

For me, I have always been a fast walker, and someone who could bound up the stairs no matter what my size. In the last year or so, my knees have started to hurt, my back hurts more often now...and I knew it was time to make the change.

Sara and I both joined Weight Watchers a month ago. And its been nothing but good things. Sara has lost close to 12 pounds, and I'm just a smidgen under 10 lbs lost with 9.6 total.

We kept it super quiet the first few weeks - because that is what has always doomed us before - as soon as we talk about it, we fall off the wagon. This time, we were focused, and we were determined. We didn't tell a soul for over 2 weeks. And now, we're telling a few people at a time, and have been enjoying the "high-5's".

We also made it past 2 big bumps in the road - 4th of July (pulled pork sandwiches!) and a trip to New York City (Hot dog vendors EVERYWHERE!). We feel really strong for being able to make it past those two events, and we feel like anything that comes our way we'll be able to make SMART food choices.

Here's a semi-recent pic of the 2 of us - it's from the rehearsal dinner from her Sister's wedding. (back in October, but whatever) We are both at our heaviest in this pic, but we are already changing from that. The chins are receding, and our waistlines are getting smaller already.

Now, in this coming October I'm going to have another wedding to go to, and I expect to be in a lot of pics since it's my BROTHER'S WEDDING!!!!!!! (Hooray! Better late than never Danny!)

I fully intend to post some pics of me and Sara and compare what our faces and bodies will look like - looking forward to the "no-double-chin" pics!!!!

Taboo

2009-07-01T10:56:00.002-05:00

On monday, I was in a little pain, and it really made me think - what the hell made this topic so taboo? What part of history just made it the worst topic?

Ok, so I had my period - and still do (4 days a month guys, no getting around it), and I just don't get the fuss. I mean, it's a bodily function, right? Albeit, with a slightly grosser product than urine, I'll give you that. But the fuss? I don't get it.

I've had conversations upon conversations with guys (AND girls) talking about pee, poop, vomit, sperm, ..... as soon as the word "period" comes up, everyone makes a face, plus their ears "lalalala - I can't hear you". Really? blood is grosser than poop? grosser than VOMIT? Don't even get me started on the grossness of sperm - I've been in conversations that included such sparkling phrases like "drop my load" or "squeeze one off" and have even been a party to the "never use the towel next to a guys bed" topic. Gross in their own ways, but hilarious nonetheless.... Does anyone not understand the hilariousness of uncontrollably bleeding for 4 days every month? I mean COME ON!!!!!

(I think it's a hilarious coincidence that today of all days my favorite humourous blog is dedicated to the internal lady parts - please go check it out and laugh!)

Busy, Busy, Busy

2009-06-25T15:06:00.003-05:00

I often disparage others for not updating their respective blogs, but then I don't update for days and it's ok?

Alright, alright....
I spent all of May working on Throwing Heat, which closed on 5/30. I then jumped right into production meetings and planning for Video Project #2. The pics are from Day One of filming - we do our second day of filming this Saturday! :) Once the whole project is done filming and editing, I'll post a link to the final piece!
I'm running lights & sound for WNEP's 10th Annual SKALD this coming weekend, and I just booked a stage management gig for Trap Door Theatre's fall production of "12 Ophelias". I'm excited about the show and the process, and I'm hoping to blog more about it when we start up.

In between all of this, Sara's Uncle Dick passed away last week, so we had some very sad family obligations. Dick had had a hard time since his wife passed away just last year ,(http://allthingsdianna.blogspot.com/2008/05/stop-all-clocks-cut-off-telephone.html) so while it was very sad to see him go, we all knew he was ready. Funeral Mass and burial was this past Saturday, followed by the ubiquitous Polish pig-out meal (dude, pierogi, smoked sausage...yummmm). Plenty of tears were shed for Sara's only Uncle from her mom's side....but an equal amount of laughter and memories were shared. Sara'snfamily are some great people, and I'm always humbled and thankful for how much everyone has embraced me as one of thier own.

Florida or Bust? Bust....

2009-06-17T12:36:00.002-05:00

A lot of folks knew (and some didn't, sorry), that Sara and I were completely planning on moving to Florida next year. When people said "Why?", our answer was simple - we desperately want to start a family, and houses are completely cheap down there, Sara has some family down there already, and I have some friends down there too. It all seemed to make sense for us - we wanted a nice house, the standard of living is lower down there, so Sara would be able to complete school only working part time probably, and there's a hotel from my chain located right there (we were looking at Tampa/St Petersburg). So, we started making plans - a time line to let jobs, landlord, and others know. We slowly started telling family, some friends. Everyone knew where we were coming from - they all said they'd miss us, but that they were glad we were making the leap.
We had initially made the "Let's do it!" decision late in February.
Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago.
Sara had done some thinking - she just couldn't see herself living so far from her sister, brothers and her mom & dad, especially if we have a kid. She was also really worried about leaving well-paying jobs up here (and good bennies), and having bad luck down there. She didn't want to go.
I was pretty crushed for a little while. We had been planning it for a long enough period that my heart was really set on it. I had been looking at Craigslist almost daily - seeing what kind of apartment deals could be had, keeping an eye on the job market, etc etc. I had myself on mailing lists for local theatres to keep my ears open for any kind of job opportunity. ANd now we weren't going.
After a period of morose-ness, I started feeling a little better.
I only had ONE BIG caveat when it comes to staying in Illinois.

I am NOT NOW, NOT EVER going to move to the suburbs. End of story.

One positive thing? I now don't need to "squeeze in" as many Chicago theatre jobs as posible before leaving (just for money's sake), and I can go back to being more selective. (Hence, my meeting tonight for possible Fall show - more to come), and also I can plan for other projects in the future (WNEP, I'm looking RIGHT AT YOU in regards to the Hopper piece...or, anything really)

That's it, I guess... no Florida.

Rob K brings the funny

2009-06-12T11:24:00.003-05:00

It's been awhile, I know.

I've been enjoying some theatre-free time off, thankyouverymuch.

I had to break radio silence though to point out one of the funniest theatre related blog posts in awhile. Man, does Rob K hit the nail right on the fucking head. Read it, my theatre peeps and have a nice Friday laugh on me.

(fear not, 3 or 4 people who read my blog, I'm meeting with someone next week to iron out the fall show i'm working on. Until she and I "shake on it", I don't wanna jinx anything by talking about. It's looking to be a very interesting project, so looking forward to blogging on the topic - stay tuned)

Birthday, Birthday, who's gotta Birthday?

2009-05-22T11:17:00.003-05:00

Well, 2 of my favorite peeps have a birthday today....

First off.... my MOMMA!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Ma! She doesn't read my blog, but I'm sending birthday wishes out across the interwebs in the hope that she will somehow know I'm doing it...

Second?
My good friend Mace!
In honor of the occasion, I have to re-post one of my favorite pics of us:
(yes, the labels are correct...we were totally drunk)

Growth and Moving on

2009-05-13T10:02:00.004-05:00

Now, I'm not sure if one actually "moves on" from the death of a parent, but I guess finally this year, after 21 years of sadness, refelection, stories (and blog posts), May 11th kind of came and went.
Don't get me wrong - I thought of my dad. But the thoughts were quick and pointed. "Wow... 21 years" and "It's been so long - really miss you", and then my brain moved on. Not in a push the thoughts away kind of way, but in a Jed Bartlett-esque "What's next?" kind of way.

I think the point is that the DAY no longer holds the trauama it used to. When I was 23, for the 10th anniversary, I took the day off of work (I think for the 5 year we went to church and had a mass said?). I don't NEED those things anymore. My thoughts of my dad are now scattered throughout the year in a more reflective manner. I wish Sara could have known him, for one. I wish I could just hug him ONE MORE TIME.

My older brother Danny, is now older than my dad was when he passed. That always weirds me out a little. My dad was almost 36 when he passed away, and Danny is 37 now. I wonder at times how he feels and what he thinks about that.

Anyway... I guess the point is, my thoughts of Dad are a year long thing, and I'm thinking it's high time for me to stick a fork in May 11th. The date means very little now. It's those day to day thoughts that hold more meaning, not some silly date.

2009-05-09T20:31:00.001-05:00

A while ago I set up my phone to post to my blog. This is a test, this is only a test.

Let's be clear...

2009-04-29T14:15:00.002-05:00

.....I live at the tab labeled "A"......and "B" is the school with the first Chicago-land reported swine flu is located. I'm not afraid...not afraid at all....

::starts VIGOROUSLY scrubbing her hands::

How do we build a future from a present we didn't expect?

2009-04-24T09:38:00.004-05:00

Last night, I attended an "open rehearsal" for New Leaf's new show, The Long Count. It was great - just a handful of us, plus the cast and a few of the New Leaf artists. First off, the Curator of the event, Marsha Harmon, spoke a little about the process so far, how the company had been writing and collaborating for awhile, then they cast the piece, etc etc. She also went through the structure for the night - they were going to warm up a little with a Viewpoints exercise, then work on one piece from the show, take a break, work on another piece, then questions (if you had them), and then close out the rehearsal.
First off, Jessica Hutchinson led the cast in a quick Viewpoints exercise. Now, lots of people have opinions on Viewpoints - whether it actually helps or not, etc... In this case, however, I think it was an invaluable exercise. Mostly, because of the style of the piece they were doing - the show is completely dependent about group dynamics, with movement, etc. And it was wonderful to watch a group of performers come together an work so cohesively - it set a great stage for the rest of the rehearsal.

Jessica then led the cast through a particular scene that they needed to work on - they ran the scene once with lights and sound - then they talked as a team and discussed new ideas, and new methods to achieve the look and feel they were hoping for. Then they ran it again, with the new ideas in place, and every one ended it with a nod of the head indicating "yeah, that feels so much better...".... I found I was nodding along with them, as both an observer and a participant.

We took a break (when the stage manager Rebecca said "Let's say 11 minutes then", all the folks watching said "thank you 11"...brilliant...)

Then after the break, Kyra led them through another scene to be worked. Again - ran the scene once with lights and sound, then talked about ideas to tighten up, etc etc, then a couple of trial runs to see if the ideas worked, then running the scene again.

When it was done, Marsha invited all of us to come together in the center, we made a circle with our arms aournd each other, Marsha took a moment gave some words of thanks, then we all took a deep breath in together, and then let it out together, cast & audience TOGETHER. Wonderful.

(And then we went to Stanley's and drank beers. )

Earth

2009-04-23T14:42:00.003-05:00

In celebration of Earth Day yesterday, Sara and I went to see "Earth", the new Disney - Nature movie. It's sort of a kiddie version of the BBC "Planet Earth" series, if you will. The Planet Earth folks were involved (and if you're a fan of the series, there are a couple of filmed scenes that will look a little familiar). Most interesting to me were some of the time-lapse photography of how rain affects a dessert delta, or how the ice melts over a season. The animal stuff is great (particularly the footage of the humpback whales --- there was a preview on the film of the next Disney-Nature film for next year's earth day - a similar movie called "Oceans", and the whales figure greatly - very excited for that one), but some of the animal footage is similar to stuff I've seen before - the nature stuff was better, in my opinion.

Warning - even though there is a "G" rating attached, there are some definite "circle of life" moments, if you will.... so it might be scary to the youngest kids, so be aware.

Overall, I thought it was great. It merely scratches the surface in some areas, but it was still beautiful to watch. Plus, it's narrated by Darth Vader/Mufasa/God/Terrence Mann, so how can it be bad?

long in the tooth

2009-04-20T11:12:00.002-05:00

Man - that last entry was long!

Well, Once I started, I wanted to be sure to say something complete about everyone - make sure it was all even and fair and such.

So, root canal happened - and overall it wasn't too bad. I was a little sore and throbby on Friday once all the drugs wore off overnight, but it passed by quickly - the only thing that was consistently sore was my jaw from the entry points of the anasthesia, not much else.

I'm glad I am a know-it-all who has to go online and see how something works before I try it. So, I already knew exactly what was going to happen to me. The process is still really WEIRD (the actual retrieval of your root - very sci-fi), but it didn't really freak me out. However, I can see how people who have no idea what is about to happen can freak out. Seriously, the process is totally sci-fi.

Anyway - my tooth feels great (for now) and I can chew on that side again, which rocks. I'm still taking it easy because I don't want to lose the temp filler thats in there, plus without the roots the tooth is technically dead, so its a little more fragile with chewing. When this is all over, I will most likely bite the bullet and get a crown - its a lot of money, but I'm more likely to keep the tooth if its protected correctly.

Now I need to move to the other side of my mouth and get another tooth removed.

(Can you tell I recently came to that "Why do I pay all this $$$ in dental insurance if I'm not using it?" epiphany?)

Then after that, I want to get on cavity and filling patrol.

I foresee a few more dental related entries in the future...

People.....people who need......people.....

2009-04-15T11:28:00.004-05:00

As I was re-reading my post I just posted, I was looking over my blog layout, and I started thinking about all the people I link to..... ya know..... over THERE..-------->

might as well take them in order, eh?

1. Chris Bohjalian - fantastic author, just discovered his blog and added it a week or 2 ago - I keep forgetting to pop him toward the bottom in the "famous people blog" zone. SO, love his books (yeah, yeah, Midwives was an "Oprah" book - don't let that dissuade you. ) His blog is more topical, though, which I enjoy.

2. Sara - my love & partner in crime. She hasn't updated her blog in FOREVER, but she has to be there or else I'll get in trouble. (in fact, she SHOULD be first, hence the need to pop Bohjalian down a few notches.) Personally, I wish she'd use it to write again. When we first got together, she wrote poems (good ones) and hasn't in a long time. Well, now I've thrown the gauntlet and mayvbe she'll respond. We'll see.

3. Toxic Blog's Bag - written by my pal Joe Griffin, this is his production company. Joe's one of those "all around great guys" everyone should have in their life. But go find your own - you can't have my Joe. His list of talents and accomplishments are many. While lots of folks identify him as "sound guy Joe", he is first and foremost a talented musician. And yeah, he'll design sound for your show or dance program. But he is also a good friend. When I was younger, I always felt smart around some of my social circles, mostly because I was one of the smarter people there. Now - my adult social circles have me with people who are FAR smarter than I, and through I at times feel dumb in their presence, I heartily enjoy the conversation. Joe is one of the smart kids.

4. Brownlee? really, I have to talk about Brownlee?

Brownlee and I used to joke that we had the same brain and it was cleaved in half and seperated into the 2 of us. We usually think the same, and quite often when we're hanging out we'll make the same sarcastic remarks at almost the same time. Creepy, I know. Anyway - he's a funny guy, a good friend, a good writer and a fantastic photographer.

5. Don is the strangest mixture of person out there. He is the most lewd and crude and yet smartest guy I know. My "Bostonian language skills" (read: cussing like a sailor), are supremely attracted to his unique brand of blue humour. On a serious side, he's one of the most passionate artists I know. When he's involved in a project, he attacks it balls out (LITERALLY). I am both grossed out and in love with the guy. I heart Don Hall.

6. Jen Ellison. Dude, the chick makes me laugh. And she's SMRT. And we both like funky socks. And have shameful choices on our respective iPods. What's not to love?

7. Joe Janes is a brilliant comedy writer. We worked together last summer on Metaluna, and will be working together in next month's Throwing Heat at the Atheneum (plug). Another one - funny, smart, talented. He recently changed his regular blog over to a personal challege of "365 sketches". He's going to write and post a comedy sketch/scene every day for a year. He's on day 86 so far, which adds up to being almost a 1/4 done. He's the man.

8. Paul Rekk (AKA Bries Vannon). Bries and I worked on The Crucible back in the fall of '05 I think? It was an artistically awesome production to work on, and Bries was a big part of that. He's a great guy with some very thoughtful theatre discussion on his blog - love him.

9. Rebar - WNEP company member, she was also in Metaluna last summer. Her posts are hilarious, and I love her political points of view. She's a funny gal and I hope she follows through on her latest promise and posts more :)

10. Bob Fisher is a director & writer, founder of The Mammals and company member of WNEP. I've only met Bob twice I think? He was the director of my favorite piece at last summer's Raw series (Boneweaver), and he's directing some friends of mine in next month's Devil's Don't Forget, which I will unfortunately be UNABLE to see (pout). Great blog, cool guy. One of these days we may actually have a conversation :)

11 Dan Granata - thinking about his performance in Touch at New Leaf a couple of months ago STILL makes me misty. (I wrote a little about it here) . He's most well known for 2 things (in my head, at least). He's the boyfriend of my favorite Texan, and he co-founded the Chicagio Theatre Database. He's super smart, and a great guy.

12 Nick Kennan. Funny story, when Nick and I finally met face to face this past winter, the first thing I said to him was "man, I totally thought you were shorter". Am I a dork, or what?

Nick is taking the theatre world by storm, with his amazing sound designs (still can't get over how good Dining Room was...), his great theatre ideas (hence name of blog) and his involvement with the Chicago Theatre Database is awesome. He's a good guy to know - and again, like all the poeple listed above... totally smarter than me.

13. Diffraction - Beth Cummings. Beth is married to Regan Davis, who was in (you guessed it) last summer's Metaluna. She is not only a funny gal, but a talented artist (see items on her website), and she's a GREAT COOK!!!!!!! If you ever get invited to Regan & Beth's for anything, GO for crying out loud.... and bring and empty belly.

14. Rob K - Rob writes about theatre AND old films on his blog, which is great. Rob is one of those great online folks whom I have actually NEVER met face to face. And he's the only guy (other than Tony) who talks football on his blog too, during the appropriate seasons.

15. Bilal... I love that I follow Bilal's website (on old-school LiveJournal, natch), and we follow each other on Twitter (and comment back and forth to each other), and yet, have NEVER met face to face. I feel like it would be a tremendous let down for each of us - I'm not nearly as funny in face-to-face settings - so I think we should keep this relationship online.....FOREVER!!!!!
MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!! ok, enough of that.

16. GreyZelda - Rebecca, whom I've never met either, this is her blog for her company GreyZelda Theatre. She actually linked to me FIRST, and I was all a-flutter about it. Rebecca seems VERY cool, and I'm looking forward to meeting her one of these days.

17. Tony Adams - Tony is AD for Halcyon Theatre, and we've worked together (WAY back in the day). He's married to my old college buddy, who is the one who moved to Chicago with me in the first place. We haven't spoken in a long time (my fault - see my post that sheds light HERE), but I REALLY enjoy his blog - he's a smart guy and we used to have some great conversations about THeatre. Plus, he's a fellow Beastie Boys man.... I'll never forget the 2 of us rocking out to the Beastie's at he & Jenn's wedding. Classic.

18 - Chris Jones - Tribune Theatre Critic

19 - Kris Vire - TimeOut Theatre critic - this blog isn't affiliated with TimeOut, and Kris has some great theatre insights and info on his site.

20. My friend Stacy started a blog when she headed to Mongolia for the Peace Corps. You feel lazy now just because of reading that. Yeah, me too.

21. My friend Valerie started a blog to post all her travel pictures (her goal is to be on all continents before 30 - she's almost done). But then she wasn't able to update for awhile. She recently changed it over to be a "one great picture a week" kind of site, and she's doing great so far. She's a great photographer and she has the cutest damn dog.

22. Yeah, so this is Rosie O'Donnell's blog - yeah, so she's a little crazy, big deal. She does great work for the LGBT community, and she's a pretty cool role model. I love her....

23 Wil Wheaton - supergeek. His blog awesome, his twitter updates are great, too. He's developed into a great writer (I own a few of his recent books) and it's great to see a child star doing positive things with their life and not blowing it on Porshes, Red Bulls & drugs.

24. Margaret Cho. No explanation necessary, the woman freaking rocks.

wavering

2009-04-15T11:10:00.003-05:00

I can't decide if I really do have an upset stomach right now, or if I'm nervous about tomorrow's scheduled part 1 of my ROOT CANAL.

I just took a couple antacids, and they seem to be helping, so we're going with "upset stomach" right now. Don't get me wrong - I'm still nervous about the root canal, but that appears to be a seperate irritation. I keep trying to tell myself that AFTER the root canal my tooth will actually feel better (i.e. I can chew on that side of my mouth again...), but thats hard to remember when the image of what they are going to do keeps going through my head. Best part? (if there actually CAN be a best part) I took the Friday off a while back for a tentative road trip - the road was cancelled unfortunately, but I kept that day off in place when I made the appointment for the Root Canal - I figured an extra day of rest would be great.
And by "extra day of rest", Sara interpreted that as "make appointment for cable guy because Dianna will be home". No worries, I will answer the door and happily say hello with a mouth full of gauze - sometime between the hours of 1-4....

huh?

2009-04-05T20:49:00.002-05:00

I will ring in my inaugual April post with the following absurdity.

The name applied to the scent of my dish soap is beyond ridiculous.

Seriously, ALPINE PURITY???

I don't even want to BEGIN to know how someone comes up with that name. For reals.

things are A-OK

2009-03-30T15:26:00.002-05:00

Work is doing ok in terms of business - one way they've been able to offset any drops in business is to have everyone use ALL of their accrued vacation days.

So now, I have to take a day or 2 off in April and..... I dunno.... go to the dentist?

I'm an "accruer". I enjoy watching the hours stack up, and then take a PLANNED vacation of a week, or a long weekend, etc.

The whole idea of "Uh, I guess I'll take off the 17th, and I guess the 27th", doesn't work well for me.

FIRST and foremost.... what the hell happens if I get sick and can't come in? I always like to have at least one day sitting in my "bank" so I can use it for emergencies. (If I have 6 days, I'll take a 5 day vacation so I have something left). So, I guess the practoce worries me about having a back up plan.

Although in the long run I should be pleased I have a job.
You know, one where I'm able to access Blogger???

Red Noses, and more

2009-03-27T14:04:00.003-05:00

How cool does this show look? I'm ashamed to say I've never been to a Strawdog show, but the description of this show sounds so engaging!

I have a little time in April before my next show -- I think I need to cram some good theatre in there. This one is at the top of my list.

I also need to go see my favorite diminutive Texan in this

I won't be able to see D-Ray or Adam in THIS, becaue it runs during my show in May.
Maybe I can finagle my way into a rehearsal before I go into tech on the 27th.
(Bob Fisher, I'm looking RIGHT AT YOU)

I'd also like to squeeze in Bries-y in Prime of Miss Jean Brodie

Busy Busy Busy April!

the vague stops here

2009-03-25T10:07:00.003-05:00

There's a subject close to my heart that I've discussed on my blog from time to time...
here:
http://allthingsdianna.blogspot.com/2007/08/regret.html
and again here:
http://allthingsdianna.blogspot.com/2008/05/want-to.html
and for the last time, here:
http://allthingsdianna.blogspot.com/2008/08/good-karma.html

Each time, I've been vague to the point of pulling my hair out - inserting vague pronouns, deleting names, being vague about the circumstance(s).

Well, I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm too old to be the "beat around the bush" gal.

Let me explain the posts once and for all.

The regret? I did something awful to my old best buddy, Jenn Leavitt Adams. I was trying to put into words (albeit, code words) how awful I felt about it and how there wasn't anything I could do. I was already toying with apologizing somehow back then, but was afraid that it would be too self-serving (or appear so), so I didn't.

Then, about 8 months later, I posted that I wanted to apologize again. I felt that it would still be kind of dumb. (more for me than for her, you know?)

That last post? "Good Karma"?
Well, I had finally mustered up the courage to email an apology letter. I also asked if there was anyway I could be a part of her life again?
And the spectacular thing that happened? Jenn emailed me back, and thanked me for apologizing. She didn't think we could be friends again, but thanked me for apologizing, nonetheless. While I was dissapointed that she didn't see us being able to reconcile, I was pleased that she had even taken the time to respond to me - something she had no need to do.

Now - we have a couple of friends in common (duh, theatre is a completely small world, so thats not surprising), and one of those friends, Kevin, was in the show I was just stage managing, and Jenn came last Sunday to our closing performance in support of Kevin. She brought along her mom, and another mutual friend, Jessica. Now, not wanting to make anyone's time uncomfortable, when the show was over, I just popped my head into the lobby really quick - gave Jess a quick hug hello and thanked her for coming. I didn't want to assume that it was at all OK to hang out and chat, so I was slowly inching back towards the theatre and out of the lobby when Jenn's mom Pat approached me from the side, and gave me a hug hello. In hindsight, I can say that I was so blown away by that, that I actually nearly fell down.
Meanwhile, while all this is happening, Jenn is in the bathroom. So basically, I'm just trying to say hello, and catch up before Jenn comes out of the bathroom!!! No, no - not in a bad way! Basically, I just don't want her to feel uncomfortable - and if she doesn't want to be friends, perhaps she'd react strangely? I don't know - I just wanted them all to have a good time and enjoy the show, and I didn't want my stupid drama to interfere with that.

Then Kevin comes over to say hello, so now all 3 of us are chatting, and then Jenn comes out of the bathroom - and all is good. Casual, catching up kind of conversation - the usual theatre banter "what are you up to?" "what's your next show?". Discussion, laughter, eye contact - all things that others take for granted and that I was relishing. I think I had a little diahhrea of the mouth for a few minutes, but all was good.

Jenn, Pat & Jess - I'm so glad you all enjoyed the show, and best of all it was LOVELY to see all of you!

Strangely interested

2009-03-18T21:24:00.002-05:00

After watching LOST tonight, our roommate wanted to watch the latest episode of "The Real World" she had taped (yes,that show is STILL on...)
Well, there's a kid on the show who is an Iraq war vet, and the whole episode is dealing with him educating his roomies on The Iraq War, and what he went through. And it showshim learning about some different veteran groups and support groups.
Strangely proud ofMTV of having such a great episode.

Glutton

2009-03-16T13:56:00.002-05:00

So here's what I usually do.

I do something dumb and hurt myself (slip, trip, fall, you name it), and I don't take it easy enough and my healing time goes slow (see last post...).

Then, as the twinges and pain subside in whatever area, and I'm on the road to complete recovery, I invariably re-injure the affected area and I'm right back where I started, and usually in more pain than when I started.

So....my hand.

My poor right hand.

Yesterday (for some reason - I have NO idea what I did), the joint of my thumb and my pointer finger started to THROB. And I mean, arthritic-style throb. I ignored for a bit because I figured it was a twinge or strain of some kind and would subside.
No such luck.
Hence one of the most tossy-turny nights I've had in awhile. So I can't sleep on my usual LEFT side due to the tattoo I got on my shoulder Saturday (story for another day, I promise), and I can't sleep on my RIGHT side, because I'm afraid of laying on my screwed up hand...
What's a gal to do?
I hate sleeping on my back, I never feel comfortable. And sleeping on my front doesn't work either (trust me, big boobs may be pleasant to look at but they are KILLER to try and sleep on).
So I sort of HAVE to sleep on my back. I curl my arm with my wasted hand up above my head, so that the useless appendage is resting on my pillow a bit.

And the throb continues.

I remember how good I am at mind over matter stuff - and I start to pretend I'm back in my Voice & Movement class. Laying flat on my back, eyes closed, with Patty DeLorey walking around saying softly "imagine that your ankles....are filled....with air...."
Instead, I'm quietly saying to myself "your hand is RESTING now.... its not moving.... the pain is going away.... the throbbing is subsiding..."

And it WORKED! just long enough for me to fall asleep an get an hour or two - then I'd shift in my sleep, feel pain in my hand, wake up from the pain, and then start all over again.

Now - last week or so with the healing of the hand the first go around, I would rest my hand from time to time, but I would still type and click the mouse with my right.

Not today - the first thing I did when I got in today was move my mouse over to the LEFT side, and used my left hand to click all morning. I was a ton slower than usual, but my right hand got a bunch of rest it needed. And I'm usually a "hunter - seeker" typise, so I just took my pointer finger and my thumb out of commission for the day...so far so good!
That, plus some Ben Gay and some ibuprofen.
There's still some pain, but it's way better than before.

If you look at the orginal post from when I slipped on the Ice, that happened almost a MONTH ago!

If when you next see my hand has been cut off in frustration, now you'll know why!

pain and stiffness

2009-03-10T20:14:00.003-05:00

Thats gonna be the name of my new all-girl, alt-rock, lesbo band.

Oh, and it's also what I'm STILL feeling after my dork escapades with the sidewalk across the street from my house 2 1/2 weeks ago. Mostly my hand still hurts. It's supper hard to just rest the sprained wrist and hand when it is your dominant one and you sit at a computer all day- clicking a mouse with your dominant hand... vicious circle. Then yesterday, theExec. Chef, who had been on vacation, swung by my office to say hello to my boss, as he usually does every day but hadnt in awhile. He's a huge Yankees fan (and he's German, go fig), so we have this friendly baseball rivalry thing. He'll come in, shake my hand and say hello, then give me shit about fouling up the Teixeira trade or some other bullshit, and he'll laugh and walk on to my bosses office. SO, yesterday, he walks up - says "Hello girl", his usual hello to me, I'm not sure he knows my name, then reaches out his hand for our usual shake, and I reach out my right hand, and JUST as he starts to squeeze, I remember. And he squeezes my hand like he's making up for the 2 weeks he missed, dammit. Needless to say, it hurt so much I almost cried, and it throbbed for the next 30 minutes or so.

fuicking Germans.

Dork

2009-02-21T11:53:00.003-06:00

Yesterday, on my way to work, I thought to myself, "wow, each winter, I usually slip and fall on the ice at least once, and so far it hasn't happened yet"

I shit you not, on my way home last night I was literally 100 feet from the front gate and I slipped on the ice and fell. I came down HARD on my right knee, then on my hip, and then a nice hard jolt on my right hand. Thankfully, nothing is broken, but man am I sore.

My knee is gonna look awful once the bruising develops. I got a scrape on the front, and some nice swelling on the side. The rest of my body is sore as well - kind of like when you're in a car accident and all your muscles are sore from the jolt.

The worst is my hand. I came down on the right side of my hand pretty hard. I've got some nice cuts on my hand, but the worst is the stiffness and the sprain. It hurts pretty bad, but without swelling, I assume no breaks.

what a dork.

Slow fade

2009-02-20T14:02:00.002-06:00

No matter how much sleep I get, or how balanced my meals were so far in the day, I inevitably start the "slow fade" sometime around 2. It's 2:04pm right now, which basically means I'm ready for my nap now.
The crappy thing about it, is that the afternoon can tend to be some of the busiest times for me at work - I leave at 5 and there's always a hustle for the banquet staff or the set up crew or whatever to need something from me before I leave for the day. Labels, a room sign, blocking off a function room, you name it. Not time consuming things, for sure, but when it's during the "slow fade" time, I move as if I'm walking through peanut butter, albeit the non-salmonella kind ;)
I have a stack of files next to me that are about 8 inches high, and thats just the priority stuff. However, I think I'll just yawn a little bit and update my blog.

I went in on some lottery tickets with a coworker and about 5 others. You know how it is - anytime you hear about the winners of some multi-million jackpot it's always some crazy happy group of coworkers who won - am I right? So we feel we're increasing our actual odds as well as our Kharmic ones by going in with colleagues!

If I were a multi-millionaire, I would update my blog more - I promise!

It's actually a little hard to know what's the first thing to do if I were to win. I mean, it's not like there are a lot of SOUND investment opportunities out there right now. Obviously, a house would be paramount - but where? If Sara and I were in a "money is no object" situation, I'm not sure Chicago is where our home address would be. I love California, but who knows?

I would most certainly quit my day job, but would ABSOLUTELY still do theatre.

And... I think I'd follow the Red Sox on the road a little...

34

2009-02-06T09:58:00.003-06:00

According to Wikipedia, some interesting things have occurred on Feb 6th, also know as the day of my birth. For example, the 20th Amendment went into affect, Queen Elizabeth II's reign began, and the Munich air disaster happened - where 23 people died including 8 of the Manchester United team players. Some pretty interesting people passed away on this day, including King Charles II of England, Pope Clement, the great Arthur Ashe, and of course, Der Kommissar himself, Falco. (that song's now gonna be in your head all day today. you're welcome.). The most varied and excellent list, though, are the myriad of souls I share my birthday with. Bob Marley, Ronald Reagan, Eva Braun, Axl Rose, Babe Ruth, Francois Truffaut, Rip Torn, Kathy Najimy, Rick Astley, Ty Warren. My personal favorite? Tom Freaking Brokaw.

My cup runneth over

2009-02-02T13:05:00.002-06:00

I ate so much food yesterday, all Super Bowl related. Here is a list of what we had:
Veggie Tray with Ranch Dressing
Veggie Dip with Triscuits
Chili Dip (layer of Cream cheese, layer of chili, layer of shredded cheese, then bake it)
Nachos with refried beans, black olives, shredded cheese, spicy nacho cheese & jalapenos
Hot Wings & Blue Cheese dressing
Home made Buffalo Chicken Pizza (AWESOME)
and then Frosted Brownies for desert!
And, my drink of choice was Bloody Marys!

Whats on tap in the lunch room today?
Chili

I can't even stomach the idea of SMELLING chili right now, let alone eat it.

(By the way, congrats to The Steelers! What a great game to watch!)

Almost there

2009-01-31T22:51:00.003-06:00

So, I'm feeling a bunch better today.
I slept a whole bunch and I'm feeling well rested, which is a great first step.
I had no plans, which are my favorite days. Those are the days when I catch up on TV,a movie, and completely "veg"out in front of the laptop. And I did all of those things and it felt GREAT. I caught up on Top Chef (it's so OBVIOUS that Stefan is going to win!), I re-watched LOST (I mean that show can always use multiple watchings...), "Goodfellas"was on - who can resist?
Once Sara got home from work, we watched some Law & Order SVU and played each other in Scrabble on Facebook.
It was lazy and wasteful and I loved every minute of it!!!!
We leave for vacation in exactly 1 week- boy, I'm gonna need it!
This coming week is gonna be a little tight, too.
I have rehearsal tomorrow (then Super Bowl). Work Monday, no rehearsal. Work Tuesday, rehearsal in evening. Wednesday I'm off work and rehearsal but I'm working all day at the Chicago Public Radio annual gala. Mad props to Don for the gig. Then I work Thursday, have a benefit to attend that night for LS, then work Friday - and Friday is MY BIRTHDAY!!! Then, we leave for Florida first thing Saturday morning.
So, no rest this week either, but almost to vacation!

Trust me, I was touched

2009-01-30T15:36:00.002-06:00

Last night, I joined Jen, Dave & Jen's sister Amy to go and see New Leaf's production of "Touch". When the show was over, we were all smushed into Amy's car, and Jen asked all of us what we thought - we all agreed that we needed some time to let the show "marinate" in us, if you will.

For me, the answer is simple and yet complex. I loved it and hated it equally. I loved the show and the performances were absolutley outstanding. I hated that it completely knocked me sideways. I cried throughout most of the show - I'll drop the tears on movies and even commercials for crying out loud, but it's rare to find a theatre piece that moves me as much as this one did. Which is funny, when you think about how I've always pursued the theatre life, and never tried to do any movie work, etc. I mean, theatre is my life of choice, my adopted family that always hugs me and tells me that I rock. Why had nothing ever affected me like this before? Without sounding trite, perhaps my heart was waiting for the perfect confluence of events to spill forth ragged tears of sorrow.

(**if you haven't seen the show and plan to, I plan on discussing details - you were warned**)

I can pinpoint the moment I started crying. Kyle tells the story of how his beloved Zoe one time came over to where he was sitting one night, amongst a group of friends, and didn't simply sit on his lap, but curled up ON HIM. She then told him that she loved him "...in front of other people!"
I couldn't help it - the intimacy of the gesture just filled my heart to overflowing, and i started to cry.

The loss and pain that Kyle dealt with during this journey was so overwhelming, that I felt overwhelmed for him - I wanted to hug him, and yet knew that my gesture would accomplish nothing, as his sorrow was too great.

There's a beacon of hope for Kyle at the end. Things aren't perfect, and never will be (how honost is THAT), but there is HOPE, which is very important.

Jen dropped me off at the red line, and I sat on the train, listening to melancholy music as I usually do, but this time it MAY have been a mistake. I bit the inside of my cheeks from Sheridan all the way to Jarvis to keep from crying. As I got off the train and made my way down the alley toward my house, the music shifted to The Beatles "Yesterday". It made think of Sara, she's the one who has turned me on (late, i know) to The Beatles, so all their music makes me think of her by default.

I quickened my pace - it was FREEZING, by the way, which is in and of itself depressing. With a heavy heart, I did my usual nightime routine. Put out my bag, keys, clothes for work. Kept holding it in. Got into bed. Sara came in a little later, slid in beside me. I held her tight, as if I thought she might not be there when I let go. I tried to explain why I was so melancholy, and for once she didn't call me a nerd for crying about something I saw. I tried to impart why it had affected me so deeply, but I'm pretty sure I was just yammering.
She held me close and then kissed me tenderly while we made love in the dark.
I told her I was so sorry for being so out of sorts, and she just held me and stroked my head while we fell asleep.

My heart still aches today.

Well....whaddya know....

2009-01-28T10:23:00.002-06:00

Whether or not I step in a 4 inches deep freezing, slushy puddle is greatly dependent on whether I decided to wear my sneakers or not when leaving for work.

I did.

and....I did.

(stupid soaking wet sneakers.....)

Who are you trying to kid?

2009-01-23T21:07:00.002-06:00

I thoroughly enjoy using the "self-checkout" aisle in pretty much any store. I enjoy the control. I swipe things in the order I want, I fill the bags correctly (bread on the TOP, thank you), and I can go as fast or slow as I want.

The Jewel at Grand & State is right by the train station so I go there a lot- yogurts and juice a couple of times a week for breakfasts at work, andalso veryconvenient for grabbing something on the way home from work for dinner.

I did both today- I was out of yogurt so I grabbed some on the way in, and I swung by after work because I was jonesing for mac n' cheese (sue me).

Both times, I got in the (very short) line by the self checkout aisles.
BOTH TIMES, someone just wandered in front of me ,camein from theside and attempted to go to the next open spot.
Both times, I said "exscuse me- the LINE is right here"
Both times, they said "what?"
Both times I repeat,"The LINE is RIGHT HERE"
Both times, I get the stink eye.

My point?
Who goes into the supermarket and just expects there to be no line for something?
I mean, what planet are you from?

(And before you ask, YES, I always point out when someone cuts in line. I'm an asshole like that.)

Seriously?

2008-12-09T22:42:00.002-06:00

I mean, could we have a more douchebag governer?

What a fucking idiot.

The Blue Sack

2008-12-08T22:09:00.003-06:00

My buddy Joe gave me the title.

Blue Man gave me "the sack"... witty, isn't it? :)

Oh well, I can now say "the current economic crisis has affected me". The silver lining is that I only worked there part time, and I do have a well-paying day job, so money-wise, we're ok.
But, I loved working there, and I'm going to miss it terribly.

Anyone out there looking for a house manager for their winter show?
Or a Stage Manager for their Spring one?
I am clearly available.

side note

2008-11-24T22:02:00.002-06:00

Let me preface this by saying that I love Obama as much as the next democratic guy.

But....

Is it so wrong to want Jed Bartlett back in the Oval Office?

"....I'll be watching you...."

2008-11-24T21:44:00.002-06:00

Jen Ellison has officially thrown her hat in the ring as my stalker.

Is it any wonder why I didn't stay after the show on Friday?:)

Don't you worry, stalker-girl, I'll probably be coming to see the show again.

Babies, Babies, everywhere...

2008-11-23T21:37:00.003-06:00

While I know that my well wishes are not terribly welcome, I can't help but give them.
Mazel tov and congrats to Jenn & Tony.

Get off your ass...

2008-11-22T12:29:00.002-06:00

...and fucking go see Schmuckt Die Hallen RIGHT NOW.

placating Joe

2008-11-20T20:07:00.002-06:00

I've been instructed to post. Post I shall.

During my blog "downtime" I have actually been writing, I've just been doing it in a journal (you know, those antiquated blank notebooks that you write in, you know, with a PEN)

As I mentioned in a previous entry, I'm more of a "jotter" than a writer. Here are some of the jotted highlights from the interim journal.

10/17/08
* (on the train) Actually just had someone nudge me in the back to push me toward the door - even though there was obviously people crowded in frontof me - and OF COURSE there was no "excuse me".

10/18/08
* The ratio of crazy people to normal folk in any CTA setting is much higher than in regular day to day life, in my humble opinion.
* Jeff Tweedy from Wilco came to Blue Man. This would have been far more exciting for me if I actually listened to their music - or better yet, even knew what Tweedy looked like. Still, interesting for a regular old boring Sunday @ BMG.

10/22/08 (I had actually made a note that gas was 3.25/gal.....it's 2.22 now)
*So, the song on the iPhone flipped to "Don't Fear The Reaper". Now, talk about a song that got ruined by comedic circumstances! I love the song- and I always have. Remember, Nancy was a young mom - Danny & I listened to a lot of 70's rock stations growing up. As a consequence, I heard plenty of Blue Oyster Cult (and Queen, which is on now...). Now, as an adult I have always associated the song with Six Feet Under. Great show, great song. Then Ferrell had to go and take out that damn cowbell.

PRETTY much says it all

2008-11-19T23:39:00.003-06:00

(stole the image from Wil Wheaton's site, which he stole from elsewhere)

Ok,thats it....I promise...
No posts in 3 months, and now 3 in one night

DADA Friday

2008-11-19T22:54:00.004-06:00

I'm going to opening night of WNEP's newest DADA show- "Schmukt Der Hallen".

Metaluna wasn't scary because I was in the booth, but for this one I'm in the audience.
Jen Ellison is totally gonna fuck with me.