How do we build a future from a present we didn't expect?

Last night, I attended an "open rehearsal" for New Leaf's new show, The Long Count. It was great - just a handful of us, plus the cast and a few of the New Leaf artists. First off, the Curator of the event, Marsha Harmon, spoke a little about the process so far, how the company had been writing and collaborating for awhile, then they cast the piece, etc etc. She also went through the structure for the night - they were going to warm up a little with a Viewpoints exercise, then work on one piece from the show, take a break, work on another piece, then questions (if you had them), and then close out the rehearsal.
First off, Jessica Hutchinson led the cast in a quick Viewpoints exercise. Now, lots of people have opinions on Viewpoints - whether it actually helps or not, etc... In this case, however, I think it was an invaluable exercise. Mostly, because of the style of the piece they were doing - the show is completely dependent about group dynamics, with movement, etc. And it was wonderful to watch a group of performers come together an work so cohesively - it set a great stage for the rest of the rehearsal.

Jessica then led the cast through a particular scene that they needed to work on - they ran the scene once with lights and sound - then they talked as a team and discussed new ideas, and new methods to achieve the look and feel they were hoping for. Then they ran it again, with the new ideas in place, and every one ended it with a nod of the head indicating "yeah, that feels so much better...".... I found I was nodding along with them, as both an observer and a participant.

We took a break (when the stage manager Rebecca said "Let's say 11 minutes then", all the folks watching said "thank you 11"...brilliant...)

Then after the break, Kyra led them through another scene to be worked. Again - ran the scene once with lights and sound, then talked about ideas to tighten up, etc etc, then a couple of trial runs to see if the ideas worked, then running the scene again.

When it was done, Marsha invited all of us to come together in the center, we made a circle with our arms aournd each other, Marsha took a moment gave some words of thanks, then we all took a deep breath in together, and then let it out together, cast & audience TOGETHER. Wonderful.


(And then we went to Stanley's and drank beers. )

Earth

In celebration of Earth Day yesterday, Sara and I went to see "Earth", the new Disney - Nature movie. It's sort of a kiddie version of the BBC "Planet Earth" series, if you will. The Planet Earth folks were involved (and if you're a fan of the series, there are a couple of filmed scenes that will look a little familiar). Most interesting to me were some of the time-lapse photography of how rain affects a dessert delta, or how the ice melts over a season. The animal stuff is great (particularly the footage of the humpback whales --- there was a preview on the film of the next Disney-Nature film for next year's earth day - a similar movie called "Oceans", and the whales figure greatly - very excited for that one), but some of the animal footage is similar to stuff I've seen before - the nature stuff was better, in my opinion.

Warning - even though there is a "G" rating attached, there are some definite "circle of life" moments, if you will.... so it might be scary to the youngest kids, so be aware.

Overall, I thought it was great. It merely scratches the surface in some areas, but it was still beautiful to watch. Plus, it's narrated by Darth Vader/Mufasa/God/Terrence Mann, so how can it be bad?

long in the tooth

Man - that last entry was long!

Well, Once I started, I wanted to be sure to say something complete about everyone - make sure it was all even and fair and such.

So, root canal happened - and overall it wasn't too bad. I was a little sore and throbby on Friday once all the drugs wore off overnight, but it passed by quickly - the only thing that was consistently sore was my jaw from the entry points of the anasthesia, not much else.

I'm glad I am a know-it-all who has to go online and see how something works before I try it. So, I already knew exactly what was going to happen to me. The process is still really WEIRD (the actual retrieval of your root - very sci-fi), but it didn't really freak me out. However, I can see how people who have no idea what is about to happen can freak out. Seriously, the process is totally sci-fi.

Anyway - my tooth feels great (for now) and I can chew on that side again, which rocks. I'm still taking it easy because I don't want to lose the temp filler thats in there, plus without the roots the tooth is technically dead, so its a little more fragile with chewing. When this is all over, I will most likely bite the bullet and get a crown - its a lot of money, but I'm more likely to keep the tooth if its protected correctly.

Now I need to move to the other side of my mouth and get another tooth removed.

(Can you tell I recently came to that "Why do I pay all this $$$ in dental insurance if I'm not using it?" epiphany?)

Then after that, I want to get on cavity and filling patrol.

I foresee a few more dental related entries in the future...

People.....people who need......people.....

As I was re-reading my post I just posted, I was looking over my blog layout, and I started thinking about all the people I link to..... ya know..... over THERE..-------->



might as well take them in order, eh?



1. Chris Bohjalian - fantastic author, just discovered his blog and added it a week or 2 ago - I keep forgetting to pop him toward the bottom in the "famous people blog" zone. SO, love his books (yeah, yeah, Midwives was an "Oprah" book - don't let that dissuade you. ) His blog is more topical, though, which I enjoy.



2. Sara - my love & partner in crime. She hasn't updated her blog in FOREVER, but she has to be there or else I'll get in trouble. (in fact, she SHOULD be first, hence the need to pop Bohjalian down a few notches.) Personally, I wish she'd use it to write again. When we first got together, she wrote poems (good ones) and hasn't in a long time. Well, now I've thrown the gauntlet and mayvbe she'll respond. We'll see.



3. Toxic Blog's Bag - written by my pal Joe Griffin, this is his production company. Joe's one of those "all around great guys" everyone should have in their life. But go find your own - you can't have my Joe. His list of talents and accomplishments are many. While lots of folks identify him as "sound guy Joe", he is first and foremost a talented musician. And yeah, he'll design sound for your show or dance program. But he is also a good friend. When I was younger, I always felt smart around some of my social circles, mostly because I was one of the smarter people there. Now - my adult social circles have me with people who are FAR smarter than I, and through I at times feel dumb in their presence, I heartily enjoy the conversation. Joe is one of the smart kids.



4. Brownlee? really, I have to talk about Brownlee?

Brownlee and I used to joke that we had the same brain and it was cleaved in half and seperated into the 2 of us. We usually think the same, and quite often when we're hanging out we'll make the same sarcastic remarks at almost the same time. Creepy, I know. Anyway - he's a funny guy, a good friend, a good writer and a fantastic photographer.



5. Don is the strangest mixture of person out there. He is the most lewd and crude and yet smartest guy I know. My "Bostonian language skills" (read: cussing like a sailor), are supremely attracted to his unique brand of blue humour. On a serious side, he's one of the most passionate artists I know. When he's involved in a project, he attacks it balls out (LITERALLY). I am both grossed out and in love with the guy. I heart Don Hall.



6. Jen Ellison. Dude, the chick makes me laugh. And she's SMRT. And we both like funky socks. And have shameful choices on our respective iPods. What's not to love?



7. Joe Janes is a brilliant comedy writer. We worked together last summer on Metaluna, and will be working together in next month's Throwing Heat at the Atheneum (plug). Another one - funny, smart, talented. He recently changed his regular blog over to a personal challege of "365 sketches". He's going to write and post a comedy sketch/scene every day for a year. He's on day 86 so far, which adds up to being almost a 1/4 done. He's the man.



8. Paul Rekk (AKA Bries Vannon). Bries and I worked on The Crucible back in the fall of '05 I think? It was an artistically awesome production to work on, and Bries was a big part of that. He's a great guy with some very thoughtful theatre discussion on his blog - love him.



9. Rebar - WNEP company member, she was also in Metaluna last summer. Her posts are hilarious, and I love her political points of view. She's a funny gal and I hope she follows through on her latest promise and posts more :)



10. Bob Fisher is a director & writer, founder of The Mammals and company member of WNEP. I've only met Bob twice I think? He was the director of my favorite piece at last summer's Raw series (Boneweaver), and he's directing some friends of mine in next month's Devil's Don't Forget, which I will unfortunately be UNABLE to see (pout). Great blog, cool guy. One of these days we may actually have a conversation :)



11 Dan Granata - thinking about his performance in Touch at New Leaf a couple of months ago STILL makes me misty. (I wrote a little about it here) . He's most well known for 2 things (in my head, at least). He's the boyfriend of my favorite Texan, and he co-founded the Chicagio Theatre Database. He's super smart, and a great guy.



12 Nick Kennan. Funny story, when Nick and I finally met face to face this past winter, the first thing I said to him was "man, I totally thought you were shorter". Am I a dork, or what?

Nick is taking the theatre world by storm, with his amazing sound designs (still can't get over how good Dining Room was...), his great theatre ideas (hence name of blog) and his involvement with the Chicago Theatre Database is awesome. He's a good guy to know - and again, like all the poeple listed above... totally smarter than me.



13. Diffraction - Beth Cummings. Beth is married to Regan Davis, who was in (you guessed it) last summer's Metaluna. She is not only a funny gal, but a talented artist (see items on her website), and she's a GREAT COOK!!!!!!! If you ever get invited to Regan & Beth's for anything, GO for crying out loud.... and bring and empty belly.



14. Rob K - Rob writes about theatre AND old films on his blog, which is great. Rob is one of those great online folks whom I have actually NEVER met face to face. And he's the only guy (other than Tony) who talks football on his blog too, during the appropriate seasons.



15. Bilal... I love that I follow Bilal's website (on old-school LiveJournal, natch), and we follow each other on Twitter (and comment back and forth to each other), and yet, have NEVER met face to face. I feel like it would be a tremendous let down for each of us - I'm not nearly as funny in face-to-face settings - so I think we should keep this relationship online.....FOREVER!!!!!
MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!! ok, enough of that.

16. GreyZelda - Rebecca, whom I've never met either, this is her blog for her company GreyZelda Theatre. She actually linked to me FIRST, and I was all a-flutter about it. Rebecca seems VERY cool, and I'm looking forward to meeting her one of these days.

17. Tony Adams - Tony is AD for Halcyon Theatre, and we've worked together (WAY back in the day). He's married to my old college buddy, who is the one who moved to Chicago with me in the first place. We haven't spoken in a long time (my fault - see my post that sheds light HERE), but I REALLY enjoy his blog - he's a smart guy and we used to have some great conversations about THeatre. Plus, he's a fellow Beastie Boys man.... I'll never forget the 2 of us rocking out to the Beastie's at he & Jenn's wedding. Classic.

18 - Chris Jones - Tribune Theatre Critic

19 - Kris Vire - TimeOut Theatre critic - this blog isn't affiliated with TimeOut, and Kris has some great theatre insights and info on his site.

20. My friend Stacy started a blog when she headed to Mongolia for the Peace Corps. You feel lazy now just because of reading that. Yeah, me too.

21. My friend Valerie started a blog to post all her travel pictures (her goal is to be on all continents before 30 - she's almost done). But then she wasn't able to update for awhile. She recently changed it over to be a "one great picture a week" kind of site, and she's doing great so far. She's a great photographer and she has the cutest damn dog.

22. Yeah, so this is Rosie O'Donnell's blog - yeah, so she's a little crazy, big deal. She does great work for the LGBT community, and she's a pretty cool role model. I love her....

23 Wil Wheaton - supergeek. His blog awesome, his twitter updates are great, too. He's developed into a great writer (I own a few of his recent books) and it's great to see a child star doing positive things with their life and not blowing it on Porshes, Red Bulls & drugs.

24. Margaret Cho. No explanation necessary, the woman freaking rocks.

wavering

I can't decide if I really do have an upset stomach right now, or if I'm nervous about tomorrow's scheduled part 1 of my ROOT CANAL.

I just took a couple antacids, and they seem to be helping, so we're going with "upset stomach" right now. Don't get me wrong - I'm still nervous about the root canal, but that appears to be a seperate irritation. I keep trying to tell myself that AFTER the root canal my tooth will actually feel better (i.e. I can chew on that side of my mouth again...), but thats hard to remember when the image of what they are going to do keeps going through my head. Best part? (if there actually CAN be a best part) I took the Friday off a while back for a tentative road trip - the road was cancelled unfortunately, but I kept that day off in place when I made the appointment for the Root Canal - I figured an extra day of rest would be great.
And by "extra day of rest", Sara interpreted that as "make appointment for cable guy because Dianna will be home". No worries, I will answer the door and happily say hello with a mouth full of gauze - sometime between the hours of 1-4....

huh?

I will ring in my inaugual April post with the following absurdity.

The name applied to the scent of my dish soap is beyond ridiculous.

Seriously, ALPINE PURITY???

I don't even want to BEGIN to know how someone comes up with that name. For reals.

things are A-OK

Work is doing ok in terms of business - one way they've been able to offset any drops in business is to have everyone use ALL of their accrued vacation days.

So now, I have to take a day or 2 off in April and..... I dunno.... go to the dentist?

I'm an "accruer". I enjoy watching the hours stack up, and then take a PLANNED vacation of a week, or a long weekend, etc.

The whole idea of "Uh, I guess I'll take off the 17th, and I guess the 27th", doesn't work well for me.

FIRST and foremost.... what the hell happens if I get sick and can't come in? I always like to have at least one day sitting in my "bank" so I can use it for emergencies. (If I have 6 days, I'll take a 5 day vacation so I have something left). So, I guess the practoce worries me about having a back up plan.

Although in the long run I should be pleased I have a job.
You know, one where I'm able to access Blogger???

Red Noses, and more

How cool does this show look? I'm ashamed to say I've never been to a Strawdog show, but the description of this show sounds so engaging!

I have a little time in April before my next show -- I think I need to cram some good theatre in there. This one is at the top of my list.

I also need to go see my favorite diminutive Texan in this


I won't be able to see D-Ray or Adam in THIS, becaue it runs during my show in May.
Maybe I can finagle my way into a rehearsal before I go into tech on the 27th.
(Bob Fisher, I'm looking RIGHT AT YOU)

I'd also like to squeeze in Bries-y in Prime of Miss Jean Brodie

Busy Busy Busy April!

the vague stops here

There's a subject close to my heart that I've discussed on my blog from time to time...
here:
http://allthingsdianna.blogspot.com/2007/08/regret.html
and again here:
http://allthingsdianna.blogspot.com/2008/05/want-to.html
and for the last time, here:
http://allthingsdianna.blogspot.com/2008/08/good-karma.html

Each time, I've been vague to the point of pulling my hair out - inserting vague pronouns, deleting names, being vague about the circumstance(s).

Well, I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm too old to be the "beat around the bush" gal.

Let me explain the posts once and for all.

The regret? I did something awful to my old best buddy, Jenn Leavitt Adams. I was trying to put into words (albeit, code words) how awful I felt about it and how there wasn't anything I could do. I was already toying with apologizing somehow back then, but was afraid that it would be too self-serving (or appear so), so I didn't.

Then, about 8 months later, I posted that I wanted to apologize again. I felt that it would still be kind of dumb. (more for me than for her, you know?)

That last post? "Good Karma"?
Well, I had finally mustered up the courage to email an apology letter. I also asked if there was anyway I could be a part of her life again?
And the spectacular thing that happened? Jenn emailed me back, and thanked me for apologizing. She didn't think we could be friends again, but thanked me for apologizing, nonetheless. While I was dissapointed that she didn't see us being able to reconcile, I was pleased that she had even taken the time to respond to me - something she had no need to do.


Now - we have a couple of friends in common (duh, theatre is a completely small world, so thats not surprising), and one of those friends, Kevin, was in the show I was just stage managing, and Jenn came last Sunday to our closing performance in support of Kevin. She brought along her mom, and another mutual friend, Jessica. Now, not wanting to make anyone's time uncomfortable, when the show was over, I just popped my head into the lobby really quick - gave Jess a quick hug hello and thanked her for coming. I didn't want to assume that it was at all OK to hang out and chat, so I was slowly inching back towards the theatre and out of the lobby when Jenn's mom Pat approached me from the side, and gave me a hug hello. In hindsight, I can say that I was so blown away by that, that I actually nearly fell down.
Meanwhile, while all this is happening, Jenn is in the bathroom. So basically, I'm just trying to say hello, and catch up before Jenn comes out of the bathroom!!! No, no - not in a bad way! Basically, I just don't want her to feel uncomfortable - and if she doesn't want to be friends, perhaps she'd react strangely? I don't know - I just wanted them all to have a good time and enjoy the show, and I didn't want my stupid drama to interfere with that.

Then Kevin comes over to say hello, so now all 3 of us are chatting, and then Jenn comes out of the bathroom - and all is good. Casual, catching up kind of conversation - the usual theatre banter "what are you up to?" "what's your next show?". Discussion, laughter, eye contact - all things that others take for granted and that I was relishing. I think I had a little diahhrea of the mouth for a few minutes, but all was good.

Jenn, Pat & Jess - I'm so glad you all enjoyed the show, and best of all it was LOVELY to see all of you!

Strangely interested

After watching LOST tonight, our roommate wanted to watch the latest episode of "The Real World" she had taped (yes,that show is STILL on...)
Well, there's a kid on the show who is an Iraq war vet, and the whole episode is dealing with him educating his roomies on The Iraq War, and what he went through. And it showshim learning about some different veteran groups and support groups.
Strangely proud ofMTV of having such a great episode.

Glutton

So here's what I usually do.

I do something dumb and hurt myself (slip, trip, fall, you name it), and I don't take it easy enough and my healing time goes slow (see last post...).

Then, as the twinges and pain subside in whatever area, and I'm on the road to complete recovery, I invariably re-injure the affected area and I'm right back where I started, and usually in more pain than when I started.

So....my hand.

My poor right hand.

Yesterday (for some reason - I have NO idea what I did), the joint of my thumb and my pointer finger started to THROB. And I mean, arthritic-style throb. I ignored for a bit because I figured it was a twinge or strain of some kind and would subside.
No such luck.
Hence one of the most tossy-turny nights I've had in awhile. So I can't sleep on my usual LEFT side due to the tattoo I got on my shoulder Saturday (story for another day, I promise), and I can't sleep on my RIGHT side, because I'm afraid of laying on my screwed up hand...
What's a gal to do?
I hate sleeping on my back, I never feel comfortable. And sleeping on my front doesn't work either (trust me, big boobs may be pleasant to look at but they are KILLER to try and sleep on).
So I sort of HAVE to sleep on my back. I curl my arm with my wasted hand up above my head, so that the useless appendage is resting on my pillow a bit.

And the throb continues.

I remember how good I am at mind over matter stuff - and I start to pretend I'm back in my Voice & Movement class. Laying flat on my back, eyes closed, with Patty DeLorey walking around saying softly "imagine that your ankles....are filled....with air...."
Instead, I'm quietly saying to myself "your hand is RESTING now.... its not moving.... the pain is going away.... the throbbing is subsiding..."

And it WORKED! just long enough for me to fall asleep an get an hour or two - then I'd shift in my sleep, feel pain in my hand, wake up from the pain, and then start all over again.

Now - last week or so with the healing of the hand the first go around, I would rest my hand from time to time, but I would still type and click the mouse with my right.

Not today - the first thing I did when I got in today was move my mouse over to the LEFT side, and used my left hand to click all morning. I was a ton slower than usual, but my right hand got a bunch of rest it needed. And I'm usually a "hunter - seeker" typise, so I just took my pointer finger and my thumb out of commission for the day...so far so good!
That, plus some Ben Gay and some ibuprofen.
There's still some pain, but it's way better than before.

If you look at the orginal post from when I slipped on the Ice, that happened almost a MONTH ago!

If when you next see my hand has been cut off in frustration, now you'll know why!

pain and stiffness

Thats gonna be the name of my new all-girl, alt-rock, lesbo band.

Oh, and it's also what I'm STILL feeling after my dork escapades with the sidewalk across the street from my house 2 1/2 weeks ago. Mostly my hand still hurts. It's supper hard to just rest the sprained wrist and hand when it is your dominant one and you sit at a computer all day- clicking a mouse with your dominant hand... vicious circle. Then yesterday, theExec. Chef, who had been on vacation, swung by my office to say hello to my boss, as he usually does every day but hadnt in awhile. He's a huge Yankees fan (and he's German, go fig), so we have this friendly baseball rivalry thing. He'll come in, shake my hand and say hello, then give me shit about fouling up the Teixeira trade or some other bullshit, and he'll laugh and walk on to my bosses office. SO, yesterday, he walks up - says "Hello girl", his usual hello to me, I'm not sure he knows my name, then reaches out his hand for our usual shake, and I reach out my right hand, and JUST as he starts to squeeze, I remember. And he squeezes my hand like he's making up for the 2 weeks he missed, dammit. Needless to say, it hurt so much I almost cried, and it throbbed for the next 30 minutes or so.

fuicking Germans.

Dork

Yesterday, on my way to work, I thought to myself, "wow, each winter, I usually slip and fall on the ice at least once, and so far it hasn't happened yet"

I shit you not, on my way home last night I was literally 100 feet from the front gate and I slipped on the ice and fell. I came down HARD on my right knee, then on my hip, and then a nice hard jolt on my right hand. Thankfully, nothing is broken, but man am I sore.

My knee is gonna look awful once the bruising develops. I got a scrape on the front, and some nice swelling on the side. The rest of my body is sore as well - kind of like when you're in a car accident and all your muscles are sore from the jolt.

The worst is my hand. I came down on the right side of my hand pretty hard. I've got some nice cuts on my hand, but the worst is the stiffness and the sprain. It hurts pretty bad, but without swelling, I assume no breaks.

what a dork.

Slow fade

No matter how much sleep I get, or how balanced my meals were so far in the day, I inevitably start the "slow fade" sometime around 2. It's 2:04pm right now, which basically means I'm ready for my nap now.
The crappy thing about it, is that the afternoon can tend to be some of the busiest times for me at work - I leave at 5 and there's always a hustle for the banquet staff or the set up crew or whatever to need something from me before I leave for the day. Labels, a room sign, blocking off a function room, you name it. Not time consuming things, for sure, but when it's during the "slow fade" time, I move as if I'm walking through peanut butter, albeit the non-salmonella kind ;)
I have a stack of files next to me that are about 8 inches high, and thats just the priority stuff. However, I think I'll just yawn a little bit and update my blog.

I went in on some lottery tickets with a coworker and about 5 others. You know how it is - anytime you hear about the winners of some multi-million jackpot it's always some crazy happy group of coworkers who won - am I right? So we feel we're increasing our actual odds as well as our Kharmic ones by going in with colleagues!

If I were a multi-millionaire, I would update my blog more - I promise!

It's actually a little hard to know what's the first thing to do if I were to win. I mean, it's not like there are a lot of SOUND investment opportunities out there right now. Obviously, a house would be paramount - but where? If Sara and I were in a "money is no object" situation, I'm not sure Chicago is where our home address would be. I love California, but who knows?

I would most certainly quit my day job, but would ABSOLUTELY still do theatre.

And... I think I'd follow the Red Sox on the road a little...

34

According to Wikipedia, some interesting things have occurred on Feb 6th, also know as the day of my birth. For example, the 20th Amendment went into affect, Queen Elizabeth II's reign began, and the Munich air disaster happened - where 23 people died including 8 of the Manchester United team players. Some pretty interesting people passed away on this day, including King Charles II of England, Pope Clement, the great Arthur Ashe, and of course, Der Kommissar himself, Falco. (that song's now gonna be in your head all day today. you're welcome.). The most varied and excellent list, though, are the myriad of souls I share my birthday with. Bob Marley, Ronald Reagan, Eva Braun, Axl Rose, Babe Ruth, Francois Truffaut, Rip Torn, Kathy Najimy, Rick Astley, Ty Warren. My personal favorite? Tom Freaking Brokaw.

My cup runneth over

I ate so much food yesterday, all Super Bowl related. Here is a list of what we had:
Veggie Tray with Ranch Dressing
Veggie Dip with Triscuits
Chili Dip (layer of Cream cheese, layer of chili, layer of shredded cheese, then bake it)
Nachos with refried beans, black olives, shredded cheese, spicy nacho cheese & jalapenos
Hot Wings & Blue Cheese dressing
Home made Buffalo Chicken Pizza (AWESOME)
and then Frosted Brownies for desert!
And, my drink of choice was Bloody Marys!

Whats on tap in the lunch room today?
Chili

I can't even stomach the idea of SMELLING chili right now, let alone eat it.

(By the way, congrats to The Steelers! What a great game to watch!)

Almost there

So, I'm feeling a bunch better today.
I slept a whole bunch and I'm feeling well rested, which is a great first step.
I had no plans, which are my favorite days. Those are the days when I catch up on TV,a movie, and completely "veg"out in front of the laptop. And I did all of those things and it felt GREAT. I caught up on Top Chef (it's so OBVIOUS that Stefan is going to win!), I re-watched LOST (I mean that show can always use multiple watchings...), "Goodfellas"was on - who can resist?
Once Sara got home from work, we watched some Law & Order SVU and played each other in Scrabble on Facebook.
It was lazy and wasteful and I loved every minute of it!!!!
We leave for vacation in exactly 1 week- boy, I'm gonna need it!
This coming week is gonna be a little tight, too.
I have rehearsal tomorrow (then Super Bowl). Work Monday, no rehearsal. Work Tuesday, rehearsal in evening. Wednesday I'm off work and rehearsal but I'm working all day at the Chicago Public Radio annual gala. Mad props to Don for the gig. Then I work Thursday, have a benefit to attend that night for LS, then work Friday - and Friday is MY BIRTHDAY!!! Then, we leave for Florida first thing Saturday morning.
So, no rest this week either, but almost to vacation!

Trust me, I was touched

Last night, I joined Jen, Dave & Jen's sister Amy to go and see New Leaf's production of "Touch". When the show was over, we were all smushed into Amy's car, and Jen asked all of us what we thought - we all agreed that we needed some time to let the show "marinate" in us, if you will.

For me, the answer is simple and yet complex. I loved it and hated it equally. I loved the show and the performances were absolutley outstanding. I hated that it completely knocked me sideways. I cried throughout most of the show - I'll drop the tears on movies and even commercials for crying out loud, but it's rare to find a theatre piece that moves me as much as this one did. Which is funny, when you think about how I've always pursued the theatre life, and never tried to do any movie work, etc. I mean, theatre is my life of choice, my adopted family that always hugs me and tells me that I rock. Why had nothing ever affected me like this before? Without sounding trite, perhaps my heart was waiting for the perfect confluence of events to spill forth ragged tears of sorrow.

(**if you haven't seen the show and plan to, I plan on discussing details - you were warned**)

I can pinpoint the moment I started crying. Kyle tells the story of how his beloved Zoe one time came over to where he was sitting one night, amongst a group of friends, and didn't simply sit on his lap, but curled up ON HIM. She then told him that she loved him "...in front of other people!"
I couldn't help it - the intimacy of the gesture just filled my heart to overflowing, and i started to cry.

The loss and pain that Kyle dealt with during this journey was so overwhelming, that I felt overwhelmed for him - I wanted to hug him, and yet knew that my gesture would accomplish nothing, as his sorrow was too great.

There's a beacon of hope for Kyle at the end. Things aren't perfect, and never will be (how honost is THAT), but there is HOPE, which is very important.

Jen dropped me off at the red line, and I sat on the train, listening to melancholy music as I usually do, but this time it MAY have been a mistake. I bit the inside of my cheeks from Sheridan all the way to Jarvis to keep from crying. As I got off the train and made my way down the alley toward my house, the music shifted to The Beatles "Yesterday". It made think of Sara, she's the one who has turned me on (late, i know) to The Beatles, so all their music makes me think of her by default.

I quickened my pace - it was FREEZING, by the way, which is in and of itself depressing. With a heavy heart, I did my usual nightime routine. Put out my bag, keys, clothes for work. Kept holding it in. Got into bed. Sara came in a little later, slid in beside me. I held her tight, as if I thought she might not be there when I let go. I tried to explain why I was so melancholy, and for once she didn't call me a nerd for crying about something I saw. I tried to impart why it had affected me so deeply, but I'm pretty sure I was just yammering.
She held me close and then kissed me tenderly while we made love in the dark.
I told her I was so sorry for being so out of sorts, and she just held me and stroked my head while we fell asleep.

My heart still aches today.

Well....whaddya know....

Whether or not I step in a 4 inches deep freezing, slushy puddle is greatly dependent on whether I decided to wear my sneakers or not when leaving for work.

I did.


and....I did.

(stupid soaking wet sneakers.....)

Who are you trying to kid?

I thoroughly enjoy using the "self-checkout" aisle in pretty much any store. I enjoy the control. I swipe things in the order I want, I fill the bags correctly (bread on the TOP, thank you), and I can go as fast or slow as I want.

The Jewel at Grand & State is right by the train station so I go there a lot- yogurts and juice a couple of times a week for breakfasts at work, andalso veryconvenient for grabbing something on the way home from work for dinner.

I did both today- I was out of yogurt so I grabbed some on the way in, and I swung by after work because I was jonesing for mac n' cheese (sue me).

Both times, I got in the (very short) line by the self checkout aisles.
BOTH TIMES, someone just wandered in front of me ,camein from theside and attempted to go to the next open spot.
Both times, I said "exscuse me- the LINE is right here"
Both times, they said "what?"
Both times I repeat,"The LINE is RIGHT HERE"
Both times, I get the stink eye.

My point?
Who goes into the supermarket and just expects there to be no line for something?
I mean, what planet are you from?

(And before you ask, YES, I always point out when someone cuts in line. I'm an asshole like that.)