regret

Have you ever looked back at something you did, and feel such an overwhelming wave of regret….but not be in a position to actually do anything about it effectively?

Have you ever done something that was so completely out of character, for truly selfish and stupid reasons, and not been able to take it back?

Have you ever been in a position where you chose one path, and you wish that you could go back and get a different option? And now its too far along to make any change, because you don’t want to hurt the ones you chose but you can’t believe the hurt you caused to those you didn’t choose?

I wish…..

I wish there was a way to go back
I wish there was a way to CHANGE what I did.
I wish I could write all of this without needing to speak in code :)
(although, no one ever reads my blog, so I guess it doesn't really matter)


So, without sounding all flowery and poetic – I hurt someone. This was a few years ago. Whether or not the person “deserved what was coming to them” is open to personal interpretation and opinion, and I’m not about to debate that. The manner in which it was done? Hands down – it sucked. It was underhanded and slick and over-all it was unprofessional. When the main argument against the person in question was a matter of professionalism, then one would think the matter should have been presented to them professionally. Yeah…one would think…

So how does one express regret to someone who a.) isn’t speaking to them at present and b.) will likely scorn everything you say?

Also, how do I make it sound like it’s genuine without sounding like a total ass-hat?


And if I try to express regret, is it solely to make myself feel better? Is that too selfish a reason? What if that other person could care LESS if I have regret? Perhaps they have moved on completely and I don’t even enter their mind, not even in a bad way? If that’s the case is it even worth the effort?


This sucks. I made a choice and it was wrong. Sure, we’ve all done it before, but did it change the fabric of a large part of your life? It did for mine.
It sucks that I can’t DO anything about it and I can’t SAY anything about it. (too many people involved)