Almost there

So, I'm feeling a bunch better today.
I slept a whole bunch and I'm feeling well rested, which is a great first step.
I had no plans, which are my favorite days. Those are the days when I catch up on TV,a movie, and completely "veg"out in front of the laptop. And I did all of those things and it felt GREAT. I caught up on Top Chef (it's so OBVIOUS that Stefan is going to win!), I re-watched LOST (I mean that show can always use multiple watchings...), "Goodfellas"was on - who can resist?
Once Sara got home from work, we watched some Law & Order SVU and played each other in Scrabble on Facebook.
It was lazy and wasteful and I loved every minute of it!!!!
We leave for vacation in exactly 1 week- boy, I'm gonna need it!
This coming week is gonna be a little tight, too.
I have rehearsal tomorrow (then Super Bowl). Work Monday, no rehearsal. Work Tuesday, rehearsal in evening. Wednesday I'm off work and rehearsal but I'm working all day at the Chicago Public Radio annual gala. Mad props to Don for the gig. Then I work Thursday, have a benefit to attend that night for LS, then work Friday - and Friday is MY BIRTHDAY!!! Then, we leave for Florida first thing Saturday morning.
So, no rest this week either, but almost to vacation!


Trust me, I was touched

Last night, I joined Jen, Dave & Jen's sister Amy to go and see New Leaf's production of "Touch". When the show was over, we were all smushed into Amy's car, and Jen asked all of us what we thought - we all agreed that we needed some time to let the show "marinate" in us, if you will.

For me, the answer is simple and yet complex. I loved it and hated it equally. I loved the show and the performances were absolutley outstanding. I hated that it completely knocked me sideways. I cried throughout most of the show - I'll drop the tears on movies and even commercials for crying out loud, but it's rare to find a theatre piece that moves me as much as this one did. Which is funny, when you think about how I've always pursued the theatre life, and never tried to do any movie work, etc. I mean, theatre is my life of choice, my adopted family that always hugs me and tells me that I rock. Why had nothing ever affected me like this before? Without sounding trite, perhaps my heart was waiting for the perfect confluence of events to spill forth ragged tears of sorrow.

(**if you haven't seen the show and plan to, I plan on discussing details - you were warned**)

I can pinpoint the moment I started crying. Kyle tells the story of how his beloved Zoe one time came over to where he was sitting one night, amongst a group of friends, and didn't simply sit on his lap, but curled up ON HIM. She then told him that she loved him "...in front of other people!"
I couldn't help it - the intimacy of the gesture just filled my heart to overflowing, and i started to cry.

The loss and pain that Kyle dealt with during this journey was so overwhelming, that I felt overwhelmed for him - I wanted to hug him, and yet knew that my gesture would accomplish nothing, as his sorrow was too great.

There's a beacon of hope for Kyle at the end. Things aren't perfect, and never will be (how honost is THAT), but there is HOPE, which is very important.

Jen dropped me off at the red line, and I sat on the train, listening to melancholy music as I usually do, but this time it MAY have been a mistake. I bit the inside of my cheeks from Sheridan all the way to Jarvis to keep from crying. As I got off the train and made my way down the alley toward my house, the music shifted to The Beatles "Yesterday". It made think of Sara, she's the one who has turned me on (late, i know) to The Beatles, so all their music makes me think of her by default.

I quickened my pace - it was FREEZING, by the way, which is in and of itself depressing. With a heavy heart, I did my usual nightime routine. Put out my bag, keys, clothes for work. Kept holding it in. Got into bed. Sara came in a little later, slid in beside me. I held her tight, as if I thought she might not be there when I let go. I tried to explain why I was so melancholy, and for once she didn't call me a nerd for crying about something I saw. I tried to impart why it had affected me so deeply, but I'm pretty sure I was just yammering.
She held me close and then kissed me tenderly while we made love in the dark.
I told her I was so sorry for being so out of sorts, and she just held me and stroked my head while we fell asleep.

My heart still aches today.


Well....whaddya know....

Whether or not I step in a 4 inches deep freezing, slushy puddle is greatly dependent on whether I decided to wear my sneakers or not when leaving for work.

I did.

and....I did.

(stupid soaking wet sneakers.....)


Who are you trying to kid?

I thoroughly enjoy using the "self-checkout" aisle in pretty much any store. I enjoy the control. I swipe things in the order I want, I fill the bags correctly (bread on the TOP, thank you), and I can go as fast or slow as I want.

The Jewel at Grand & State is right by the train station so I go there a lot- yogurts and juice a couple of times a week for breakfasts at work, andalso veryconvenient for grabbing something on the way home from work for dinner.

I did both today- I was out of yogurt so I grabbed some on the way in, and I swung by after work because I was jonesing for mac n' cheese (sue me).

Both times, I got in the (very short) line by the self checkout aisles.
BOTH TIMES, someone just wandered in front of me ,camein from theside and attempted to go to the next open spot.
Both times, I said "exscuse me- the LINE is right here"
Both times, they said "what?"
Both times I repeat,"The LINE is RIGHT HERE"
Both times, I get the stink eye.

My point?
Who goes into the supermarket and just expects there to be no line for something?
I mean, what planet are you from?

(And before you ask, YES, I always point out when someone cuts in line. I'm an asshole like that.)