Friday

Just gotta keep sayin: "Good stuff on the horizon, good stuff on the horizon"

I've defintely had a week. The normal jabs and uppercuts of life have connected a little bit better due to my PMS - so, something that would normally just aggravate me for a little while and then fade, well, now it's bringing me to tears. Yesterday, I was so keyed up and stressed out I was choking back tears the entire 15 minutes I was shoveling my pre-show dinner in my mouth (yeah, see how I only had 15 minutes to relax and have dinner? icing on a shit day). Dealing with shit I shouldn't have to deal with, compromising on something only because I was guilted into it, spending the last hour at work dealing with ALL of this so that I left work late (hence, not a lot of time for dinner). What a crap freaking Thursday..

In the "life is good" column, though, I always have to remember that my cup pretty much runneth over. I have a well-paying stable job, where I have seniority, vacation & benefits (yeah, benefits for Sara too...). I have a roof over my head, a nice place to boot, as well as nice material things that make me feel comfy and cozy when I am at home. Best of all, I have Sara. I mean, I get home and she can see the stress on my face and she just wants to give me a hug. Never mind that she got home from work at 8 (she goes in at 7am) and she still had to do a full night of homework before goinmg to bed and doing it all over again tomorrow. She came to bed after I did, and she gets up way before I do. She's a rock star. :-)

So maybe I just feel bitchy and cranky ... maybe I need a vacation ... maybe I just need for it to be the weekend alrready... wait... it's Friday? Well isn't that just fan-freaking-tastic!!!!

35

I stupidly remembered why this birthday means more, why 35 for some crazy reason, is depressing me more than 34 did, and more than I suspect 36 will.

In exactly 9 days I'll be the same age my dad was when he passed away. Jeeeeez.

It hit me like a ton of bricks as I was falling asleep the other night. I was drifiting off, and I was thinking about my dad, and there it was. Dan Driscoll, dead at 35. It's one of those things that drifts along the edge - you can't quite reach it, but you know it's there, you know? I guess my subconsious always had a problem with turning this age, and I just had to pry it loose. And it was defintely bugging me. I mean, I don't feel old, or even old-er. I feel so normal, like I haven't even really aged in the last 5-8 years or so...So I just didn't understand my pre-occupation with 35.

But when it hit me, it really hit me. Sure, I cried a little. Anyone who knows me knows it doesn't take much for that to happen, really. It just made me so....sad. I look ahead to my life down the road, I see me and Sara, I see a kid (or kids), I see a house... I see contentment, and comfort, and LIFE.  About 2-3 months after his 35th birthday, my dad first noticed the lump on the back of his head. It all went quickly downhill from there, and he was gone 9 months later. I've always wondered how I would feel in that situation - and now, at this age, with all the joy and gifts I have in this life, I wonder what it would be like for me NOW.

There is truly nothing I can do about it except embrace my birthday. Embrace my age, and embrace that number.

Away away

Been away for awhile. Opening a show, dealing with life, finding a new apartment.

The Hopper opening went really well - lots of words of praise. Everyone all around really seemed to enjoy it. I'm really very proud of the show - it's ambitious, and scary and awesome all at once. And the food props are crazy but manageable. I'll survive :-)

The life stuff? hmmm.... I'm not comfortable blogging about it yet, since it's not my news. Just suffice to say some sad things afoot for Sara's family. Really kind of knocked us all for a loop, and we're all still dealing. Sad stuff, but a little personal right now. I guess that's probably one of the hardest things - not being able to unload about it. Well, think good thoughts. That's the best I can do.

New apartment has been found - we're in the process of getting the cashier check together for the first month. It's a HUGE one bedroom in Edgewater. (Right at Clark & Granville, just across from the Raven Theatre). It has a huge seperate dining room, which is important considering the behemouth table we just bought last year - plus it will give Sara the space to spread out and do her homework. Huge living room, big bedroom, 3 walk-in closets, heat included... and we'll be paying $315 less each month in rent. Savings account for house downpayment, here we come! Even if we ONLY banked that 315$ difference each month, at the end of our 3 year goal we'd have 10 grand for a downpayment. And trust me, we DON'T plan on just banking that difference.
We'll have a little overlap... our lease begins at the new place on 3/1, and our lease at our current place ENDS on 4/1, but it does give us the flexibility to move at our own pace, turn things off and turn others on at a slow pace as well.


Something that's been on my mind. During a weekend brunch trip to Ann Sather in Andersonville, Sara and I wanted to show her mom one of our favorite stores, Four Sided. It's this cool store that does custom framing, but also has these cool art pieces, antique items. It's really a one-of-a-kind store. Except of course that they have 3 locations. You know what I mean, though....
Anyway, while there, I noticed a print on the wall and asked about it... the staff told me it was this local artist Shawn Stucky, and I have to say I REALLY love all of the things I've seen of his so far.
This is the print that was on the wall. Awesome, right?

Not ready yet for the next box

Took a quick survey yesterday online.... at the end it asked if I were female or male, whether I worked full-time or part-time..... and of course, which age bracket do I fall under.
So for the next 31 days, I fall under the "25-34" range.
On February 6th, I start to mark the next box.

A small part of my heart just died.

Dianna's Inconsequential Year in Review

My Lame Year-End blog post -  Hurrah!

I’m not nearly the prolific blogger some others are, but I occasionally have some nuggets of humour and truth. I’ve read over most of my entries for the year (it is REALLY slow at work), and here are some of the highlights of 2009.


January
- I still get a little misty, reading over my blog entry about New Leaf’s production of “Touch”. “..I told her I was so sorry for being so out of sorts, and she just held me and stroked my head while we fell asleep…”

February
- The photographic evidence of my annual “slip and fall on the ice”. This year’s was a doozy. Well, actually every year is usually bad, but I had a trusty iPhone to take my embarrassing pictures, so maybe this year’s just FELT worse. Who knows.

March
- One of my favorite entries of the year – taking a personal topic and putting something shitty I did out into the wide open. And while the results aren’t what I’d like, it’s not for me to push the issue. It’s certainly better than it WAS and that alone is wonderful.
- Also in March, I chronicled my stupid month-long healing process from my slip on the ice. I should be put into incubation whenever I sprain something – I’m just a danger to myself in the healing process.

April
- Hahahaha! My entry about my root canal! Hilarious!

May
- The blog entry where I take the date of my father’s death and kick it to the curb. Love it.

June
- Ah yes… the “Sara decided she doesn’t want to move to Florida” post.  It still bums me out a little. Mostly because it's sub-zero temperatures right now.

July
- Wow…. July I was on a roll with the political rants:
        o My own personal health care costs
        o My thoughts on the arrest of Professor Gates
        o And then my disgust at the Birthers movement. Blech.

- I did, however, have some enjoyable times, like our trip to NYC. One of my best times all year. Loved that vacation. Best part was that Sara had never been, so I was able to experience the city again through her eyes. And it was July and MILD fer crissakes. It was a miracle.

August
- Anniversary post wherein I make an amusing parralel between photography and the steadfastness of a relationship. I know, I'm a nerd.
- Saying goodbye to Teddy Awful. 'nuff said.

September
- I appear to have opened a show that month? I have a couple of blog posts about lack of sleep as well as trying to not eat a million things during tech week

October
- My most prolific month of the year – 12 whole posts!!!! That’s an average of more than 2 a week! (hahahaha) Anyway, I am particularly fond of my post with the pic from my Bro’s wedding. I still think I looked smokin’ in that dress.

November
- Love this post about a poster that Jenn had when we were in college.

December
- And then I round out the year with my take on the utterly depressing and absolutely magnificent film version of “The Road”

2010 hopes to be a year of some changes. Sara and I are moving to a smaller (cheaper) apartment, with the motive of saving as much money as possible for a down payment for a house. We have some neighborhoods in the city that we like, and we think we’ll be able to snatch a good foreclosure or short sale property and get some bang for our limited bucks.

Many babies on the horizon…. Sara’s sister is currently pregnant with twin boys, so we’ll have nephews coming out of our EARS (When they’re born, that’s “Nephews 5 – Nieces 0”, not that we’re keeping count). Plus, our great friends Mace & Thales are expecting a baby girl in early summer. Hooray for lesbians having babies!!!

Sara will be entering year 2 of college – with the added bonus of having more responsibilities at work (she got a big raise & promotion a couple of months back). I’m sure it’ll be stressful, but with someone as charming as ME at home, how could it be all bad???

I artistically start off the new year on an incredible high note…. We open “The (edward) Hopper Project” on 1/15. All signs point to awesomeness on this one.

I have a couple of other possible artistic ventures in my pocket, but until they’re definite, I’ll just keep them there in my pocket.

In a little over a month I’ll be 35. I haven’t had any problems with that number until very recently. And it’s not even really a problem, more like an itch in the center of my back that I just can’t get to. I mean, time marches on, so what…. I just want to be sure I’m doing things I love to do and spending time with people I love to spend time with. Period.

So a toast to 2009, and a tip of the hat to the coming 2010.

Really???

Yesterday, in the comments section of Don’s blog, I was referred to as a “foul-mouthed fatty from Boston”.
That is such an accurate depiction of me, I’m really not sure I can pissed off at it.
(although “fatty” is a tad harsh… I prefer “tubby” personally)

Hopper's got a poster

As I head off into the holiday season, I bring this FREAKING AWESOME PICTURE.
(set your calenders folks, Hopper opens in 24 days)

poster design by Regan Davis