I stupidly remembered why this birthday means more, why 35 for some crazy reason, is depressing me more than 34 did, and more than I suspect 36 will.
In exactly 9 days I'll be the same age my dad was when he passed away. Jeeeeez.
It hit me like a ton of bricks as I was falling asleep the other night. I was drifiting off, and I was thinking about my dad, and there it was. Dan Driscoll, dead at 35. It's one of those things that drifts along the edge - you can't quite reach it, but you know it's there, you know? I guess my subconsious always had a problem with turning this age, and I just had to pry it loose. And it was defintely bugging me. I mean, I don't feel old, or even old-er. I feel so normal, like I haven't even really aged in the last 5-8 years or so...So I just didn't understand my pre-occupation with 35.
But when it hit me, it really hit me. Sure, I cried a little. Anyone who knows me knows it doesn't take much for that to happen, really. It just made me so....sad. I look ahead to my life down the road, I see me and Sara, I see a kid (or kids), I see a house... I see contentment, and comfort, and LIFE.  About 2-3 months after his 35th birthday, my dad first noticed the lump on the back of his head. It all went quickly downhill from there, and he was gone 9 months later. I've always wondered how I would feel in that situation - and now, at this age, with all the joy and gifts I have in this life, I wonder what it would be like for me NOW.

There is truly nothing I can do about it except embrace my birthday. Embrace my age, and embrace that number.


Away away

Been away for awhile. Opening a show, dealing with life, finding a new apartment.

The Hopper opening went really well - lots of words of praise. Everyone all around really seemed to enjoy it. I'm really very proud of the show - it's ambitious, and scary and awesome all at once. And the food props are crazy but manageable. I'll survive :-)

The life stuff? hmmm.... I'm not comfortable blogging about it yet, since it's not my news. Just suffice to say some sad things afoot for Sara's family. Really kind of knocked us all for a loop, and we're all still dealing. Sad stuff, but a little personal right now. I guess that's probably one of the hardest things - not being able to unload about it. Well, think good thoughts. That's the best I can do.

New apartment has been found - we're in the process of getting the cashier check together for the first month. It's a HUGE one bedroom in Edgewater. (Right at Clark & Granville, just across from the Raven Theatre). It has a huge seperate dining room, which is important considering the behemouth table we just bought last year - plus it will give Sara the space to spread out and do her homework. Huge living room, big bedroom, 3 walk-in closets, heat included... and we'll be paying $315 less each month in rent. Savings account for house downpayment, here we come! Even if we ONLY banked that 315$ difference each month, at the end of our 3 year goal we'd have 10 grand for a downpayment. And trust me, we DON'T plan on just banking that difference.
We'll have a little overlap... our lease begins at the new place on 3/1, and our lease at our current place ENDS on 4/1, but it does give us the flexibility to move at our own pace, turn things off and turn others on at a slow pace as well.

Something that's been on my mind. During a weekend brunch trip to Ann Sather in Andersonville, Sara and I wanted to show her mom one of our favorite stores, Four Sided. It's this cool store that does custom framing, but also has these cool art pieces, antique items. It's really a one-of-a-kind store. Except of course that they have 3 locations. You know what I mean, though....
Anyway, while there, I noticed a print on the wall and asked about it... the staff told me it was this local artist Shawn Stucky, and I have to say I REALLY love all of the things I've seen of his so far.
This is the print that was on the wall. Awesome, right?


Not ready yet for the next box

Took a quick survey yesterday online.... at the end it asked if I were female or male, whether I worked full-time or part-time..... and of course, which age bracket do I fall under.
So for the next 31 days, I fall under the "25-34" range.
On February 6th, I start to mark the next box.

A small part of my heart just died.