Lifesaver

I work in a minefield. Seriously.

Anyone trying to lose weight or change their eating habits that works in an office can completely understand where I'm coming from.

There's always someone buying bagels, or bringing in homemade something-something that just has a big EAT ME sign on it.

Well, my work has those things plus a seperate special layer of suck. I work in a hotel - there's food EVERYWHERE. Not as bad as a restaurant, to be sure, but it's on level of stinky.

Earlier this week, the skinniest girl in my office had a craving for Lemon Bars the night before. She made a whole batch, had a few, and then brought the rest in - to sit on the table that is 5 feet from my desk. Today, Sales brought in bagels - not just bagels, but the Cosi "squa-gel" (square bagels), of which the Asiago Bagel is my personal favorite. I abstained. Then later, the catering staff sent out an email to my floor titled "Meeting notes & FUDGE!". Someone just got back from a trip and brought back a big box of fudge. Once again, I abstain. Lunch today? Leftovers from a meeting, eaten standing up in a back hallway. Mashed potatoes? yes I love you, but I'm going to have the chicken instead. Bit size fruit tarts? No thanks, I'll have some slices of cantalope.

And you should see the looks on peoples faces! So dissapointed the fat girl doesn't want their fudge! Sorry dude, trying to live a better life, one day at a time. And one abstained land-mine at a time.

To help combat this, I have a "bag of tricks". Nothing sexy, but some acceptable salty or sweet snacks. Better for me, low in calories and fat, high in fiber.

Someone has chips, or pretzels? I assault you with my WASABI PEAS! or I can also bombard you with my MINI RICE CAKES!!!!!

someone have a candy bar or something sweet? I pelt you with my PITTED DATES!!! or my HANDFUL of CRAISINS!!!!!

But the biggest lifesaver.... it's filling....it's sweet...it's HIGH in fiber (9g) and it's my favorite flavor in the whole world.... CARAMEL.

Dude, the Fiber One Oats & Caramel bar..... I love you man, you save my life almost every day.

"I'm yours...."

I think the barometer of how good a couple you are is how WELL one of you can hold out the camera and take a GOOD shot of the 2 of you as a couple. (Nothing worse than asking someone else"could you take our picture?", I mean, any old schlub can do THAT)

If you can't hack a good picture of the 2 of you on your own, it's not meant to be.
That being said, I think me and my partner in crime for the last 8 years do a pretty fucking awesome job of taking pics together (Although to be be fair, Sara does the picture taking - but its a logistical thing, the girl's almost 5'10" for cripes sake!)
Anyway, I guess what I'm TRYING to say is, I love you sweetie! Happy Anniversay!
Meeting you a little over 8 years ago was the best thing that's ever happened to me. No one makes me laugh more and there's no one I'd rather be with.

Jason Mraz might say it best, though:
"Well open up your mind and see like me...
open up your plans and damn you're free ...
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love ...
listen to the music at the moment people dance and sing with me ...
We're just one big family...
And it's our godforsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved"

(...and now some examples of how much we belong together)

(Brownlee /Morris Wedding, June 2008)

(Beach Preserve area at Crystal Cove State Park, Laguna Beach, CA - Feb 2008)

(Boat Tour of Lake Eustis in Tavares, FL - Feb 2009)

(On Liberty Island, NYC - July 2009)

(Top of the Empire State Building, NYC- July 2009)



















(Weekend getaway to Saugatuck, MI - Nov 2007*)




(*that last one is the best, and one of my favorites... I can't remember whose idea it was to look at each other...but it was a great one)

My kingdom for the snooze button

Dennis has a great story today about trying to relate a story to his dad... and then waking up.
Love the story.

It reminded me of the time I had the most vivid dream about my dad. I was walking down the street somewhere, don't remember exactly where, and a ways off I spot my dad! He sees me to, and he waves me over. We hug, I'm sure I'm crying, and he tells me he's so sorry that he's been away so long. He explained that he'd been in the witness protection program, and that they'd had to fake his death, yadda yadda yadda. We sit and have coffee and I start chatting about all the tings he's "missed", only to find out that he's been keeping regular tabs on me and has been following all that me, Danny, Sean & Heather have done. (This was before Sean passed away, too). When I say it was vivid, I mean I could hear his VOICE, I could see the twinkle in his eye, he even smelled like him! (weird, but true) We were having the best time - laughing and joking and telling stories...it was all going so great!
(beep, beep, beep, beep, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP....)
That was the sound of my alarm going off - I shut it off, looked around, realized that it had all been a dream - and my heart just broke. It almost felt as if he'd died all over again. I cried and cried. It was awful.
This may sound weird, but I wonder if it sort of explains my fascination with the TV show "In Plain Sight", which is all about the witness protection program....

some of my favorite peeps

me and Erin Orr



















Me and Emily Gann
























Me and my big bro, Danny (we're a little drunk here)












Me & my cuz, Martin














(I couln't decide which pic I liked more....)

Nick Keenan, Dan Granata & Me
(about 3 minutes before "Devils Don't Forget" began)

Shoes

I was going through some pics and came across this one, which I love.


This was taken last summer, during rehearsals for "Metaluna".


It's all our shoes outside the rehearsal room - I can't describe why I love it, but I do.

(photo by Michael Brownlee)

Well, this should help the weight loss...

Friday when I got home from work, I felt kind of sick to my stomach, and kind of crampy.

The feeling continued throughout Saturday, reprived a little on Sunday, and then hit me again hard this morning. Now, I pulled myself together long enough to brave the CTA to get to work. I'd been through this situation before, but it was in the OPPOSITE direction - ridiculously clenching while running from the train to your house PRAYING you'll make it to the bathroom on time. Today it was the other way....

I was on the platform at Jarvis, watching as the train approached, and a wave of nausea (and a little bit of light-head-ed-ness) hit me like a ton of bricks. I actually had to hold on to something.

I popped a piece of gum, hoping some saliva in my mouth as well some fresh spearmint flavor would douse that nausea. It did. Thank god.

I made it to work, I punched in and promptly found a bathroom.
I feel a little better now (albeit a bit cleansed), so here's hoping.

If I don't feel better by noon I'm out of here.

Birthers

The centerpiece of any good, robust political system is healthy debate, and part of that debate should be questioning our leaders. While people who don't "like" Obama drive me nuts, I respect the fact that they have every right in the world to dislike him, and to question him when he does things. (you know, unlike when Bush was in office, and those who questioned him were considered Un-American) I welcome it, actually. QUESTION our leader. We put him there, but it is his responsibility to lead us and do the things that are right for us, so when he's going down a wrong path, SPEAK UP for heaven's sake!

Ok, that being said, there's a small group of nutjobs that just chap my ass every time I hear them given press time. You know who I mean... the people who claim, nay, INSIST, that Obama was not born in the US. They are discussed in the press so much that the WH has given them a NAME! They are known as the "Birthers", and completely believe that he was born in Africa, not America. The WH gave in to the stupidity about a year ago, and posted a copy of his Birth Certificate online, they have recieved witness accounts from hospital workers, etc, and have even pointed to a local NEWSPAPER in Hawaii announcing his birth.

There's a great blurb on the CNN.com ticker today about Press Secretary Robert Gibbs shooting down the "Birthers". (article is HERE). In the comments section was a response so TRUE and hilarious at the same time that I was nearly crying with laughter over it:

posted by: Yo morons! on July 27th, 2009 4:43 pm ET

"His grandmother did not say he was born in Kenya–it was his step-grandmother who said that about 40 years after the fact, AND she was not present at his birth.
I feel silly indulging this nonsense; it's like trying to prove a negative. Birthers, can you prove that Bush is not satan? Can you offer me one shred of proof that he is not satan? What's that? No proof?
Can you prove that Rush Limbaugh does not survive solely on the consumption of human flesh? Do you have any proof whatsoever?
Can you prove that Laura Bush is not a robot? And I don't mean your run-of-the-mill wire and steel robot, but a high-tech cybernetic organism designed to conrol your thoughts? C'mon birthers, prove it! I will not be satisfied until you prove it!
The certificate is out there and has been vetted. For god's sakes, devote your energies to helping your communites, or alternatively, learning how to read and operate "the google".
Otherwise, take another swig from your clay jug and remember to holler for Pa when the vittles is ready!"

Salt

Ever since Professor Gates was arrested (and then released) the other day, I have tried to apply a huge grain of salt to the whole affair. Yes, this is easy to do for me becauseI am white and have never experienced racism - HOWEVER, grain of salt nonetheless.

While it is certainly likely that the officer was simply doing his job and arresting an unhelpful combatitive man, it is also just as likely that the cop was racist and just profiled the whole situation.

And while it is likely that the officer was asking unneccesary questions and not answering Gates' simple questions, it is also equally as likely that a man who has probably experienced racism before approached the entire situation with his OWN prejudices against the cops and wasn't gonna be helpful no matter what.

I was not there, so I'll never reallyknow what happened, so again - grain of salt for everyone involved.

Now, every piece of reporting out there I've seen have all said things like travesty, racism, profiling...no grains of salt from anyone.



Except now.....

Read the following article from Dr. Boyce Watkins (originally appearing on the website thegrio.com). Watkins says: "What is abundantly clear is that this is NOT the case of a poor Black male being exploited by the racist, classist power structure. "

And then there's the picture....

















I see a policeman with his hand out trying to calm Prof Gates down....I see Prof Gates look like he's yelling "Help".....I see a black officer in the foreground....I see him cuffed in front (which is actually a sign from the cops that they didn't really feel threatened by him)

what do you see?


ETA - I was just reading over this entry and realized I didn't link to the article.... idiot..."DD"

A loophole just big enough

Some friends of mine (like Don) have blogged recently about the big "affordable healthcare" issue swirling around politics right now. Sometimes within the debate, the amount of numbers and statistics thrown out there make my brain fry...just a little...
However, I was thinking earlier about my own personal healthcare, which is not bad as far as I'm concerned. I get paid every 2 weeks, and from each paycheck I pay 3.11 in dental, 15.29 in medical & 4.04 in vision.
Sara is on my insurance as well - we are VERY lucky that my job offers partner benefits - and thats for everything. So, there's an additional line item where an added amount for dental, medical & vision is added on just for Sara to pay for HER coverage.

Here's where it gets nutty - follow me....
(in the following paragraphs I am simply being critical of the PROCESS, this is by no means a judgement of my employer - I respect the fact they are doing best they can)

Ok, so since Sara is not a taxable dependant, my job does not cover the TAX incurred with her coverage, so that charge is passed on to me.

Let me 'splain. After my gross earnings are calculated, there is a charge for my employers cost added to my "earnings". And then, my taxes are figured off of THAT total. Then under the deductions area, that charge that is ADDED up above, is subtracted down below.

So, I am TAXED at a higher rate just so that I can have Sara covered. If I were married to a man, I would just qualify for a family plan, and not only would I not be taxed at a higher rate, our coverage could be deducted pre-tax. (right now, my coverage is deducted pre-tax, but Sara's isn't...).
This isn't my job's fault, there is no law in place that guarantees coverage for my spouse. Beause let's be honost - Sara isn't my girlfriend or my "life-partner", she's my WIFE, legally she is my COMMON LAW WIFE. In about 3 weeks, we are celebrating 8 freaking years together. That's longer than either one of my mom's first 2 marriages. We're working on the baby thing (once she's done with school), and thankfully she has decent medical coverage so that we can get good pre natal care, and once the kid(s) are born, they'll qualify for coverage as well.

But I'll be taxed higher....

July 21, 1984

Happy Birthday, baby brother. I miss you....

Favorite images from NYC trip

Unfortunately, when you're on weight watchers, this is as close as you can get to "the best bagels in the world" ::sigh::









Imagine what the musical world would be like now if this memorial mural had never had to be done.







yeah.... first time face to face with Frida.... kept myself together long enough to take a good picture. Then I sat on a bench across the room and looked at her for about 10 minutes. amazing.










Top of the Empire State Building at sunset.
Nice.







There's a placque in front that reads:
"For three decades this sculpture stood in the plaza of the World Trade Center. Entitled "The Sphere" , it was conceived by artist Fritz Koenig as a symbol fo world peace. It was damaged during the tragic events of September 11, 2001, but endures as an icon of hope and the indestructable spirit of this country. The Sphere was placed here on March 11, 2002 as a temporary memorial to all who lost their lives in the terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center.
The eternal flame was ignited on September 11, 2002 in honor of all those who were lost. Their spirit and sacrifice will never be forgotten.



"Statue of Liberty! I crush your head! I crush your head!










Right near the "registry room" at Ellis Island, they were restoring some support columns when they uncovered a bunch of handwritten notes and pictures scribbled on thecolumns by the immigrants while they waited to be processed. Most things were in a completly different language -but the emotion certainly showed through.

Stealing from Bob

So, Bob (or, Devil Vet as some know him) does a regular thing on his blog entitled "Favorite Things this Week", and it's usually an image of some kind that he particularly likes.


I'm stealing the idea.

I'll call it something else of course (maybe I'll just call it "stealing from Bob"), and I won't post it every week, but nonetheless posting the images will become more common.


This week, Sara and I went to NYC, and we went to the big museums. There were some pieces of art that astounded me (that Matisse is BIG), and others that moved me (Frida, I love you...), but nothing made me THINK and feel as much as THIS piece did.
























The painting is simply called "Woman Ironing", and our pal Pablo painted it in 1904. It was clearly done during his "Blue Period", and it certainly does a good job of evoking THAT emotion for me. I stared at the damn thing for the longest time. I just couldn't get over her left shoulder. that pointy left shoulder. SHe's so thin, and obviously working hard on something. her hair is mussed so I assume she's hot and sweaty. Thin and tired. and yet..... look at her face.... just a hint of a grin.
Amazing.

"I eat too much....I drink too much... I want too much...too much!"

The 3 people who read my blog know me face to face, so it's pretty obvious when I say... I'm a heavy gal. I sort of always have been.

I've tried a couple of times to track the genesis of my weight gain, and while laziness and poor food choice is the biggest factor, some of my worst habits began when I was younger.

Between 2nd and 6th grade, my mom's second husband's alcoholism was truly spiraling downward. I hated being anywhere NEAR the guy. During that time, I didn't have a lot of friends, so rather than be out of the house all the time, I retreated to my room. This is when I started devouring huge books at a time, and always with a snack in my hand. Always.

I would go to the library and smuggle candy bars in. I would hide candy and junk food at home in my drawers and down it all while reading some 1,000 page book. I started to get a little chunky, and as I slowly put on weight, things got worse and worse at home. By the time my mom threw him out, I was in the 6th grade, and I'm pretty sure I was well over 150llbs. And I also starting developing the twins - my collosal pals up front that made be a TRUE roly-poly (round in the middle and huge on top).

During 7th grade I was having a very rough time adjusting to junior high. The kids were all new, and they were cruel. Time for another candy bar. Plus my dad was really sick that whole year. 7th grade sucked. And then in May, Dad passed away. It kicked me in the pants a little. I started taking better care of myself (um, meaning I showered every day now), and started wearing makeup to school, wearing nicer outfits - trying DESPERATELY to make friends and fit in. I became the funny heavy chick. Pass me another candy bar.

So, bad eating habits, laziness and all that have contributed to BIG Dianna. And then Sara and I got together, and we just always wanted to stay home and eat food (I believe they call that nesting....)

Anyway - Sara and I sort of hit the wall where our collective weights were concerned.

For me, I have always been a fast walker, and someone who could bound up the stairs no matter what my size. In the last year or so, my knees have started to hurt, my back hurts more often now...and I knew it was time to make the change.

Sara and I both joined Weight Watchers a month ago. And its been nothing but good things. Sara has lost close to 12 pounds, and I'm just a smidgen under 10 lbs lost with 9.6 total.

We kept it super quiet the first few weeks - because that is what has always doomed us before - as soon as we talk about it, we fall off the wagon. This time, we were focused, and we were determined. We didn't tell a soul for over 2 weeks. And now, we're telling a few people at a time, and have been enjoying the "high-5's".

We also made it past 2 big bumps in the road - 4th of July (pulled pork sandwiches!) and a trip to New York City (Hot dog vendors EVERYWHERE!). We feel really strong for being able to make it past those two events, and we feel like anything that comes our way we'll be able to make SMART food choices.

Here's a semi-recent pic of the 2 of us - it's from the rehearsal dinner from her Sister's wedding. (back in October, but whatever) We are both at our heaviest in this pic, but we are already changing from that. The chins are receding, and our waistlines are getting smaller already.

Now, in this coming October I'm going to have another wedding to go to, and I expect to be in a lot of pics since it's my BROTHER'S WEDDING!!!!!!! (Hooray! Better late than never Danny!)

I fully intend to post some pics of me and Sara and compare what our faces and bodies will look like - looking forward to the "no-double-chin" pics!!!!

Taboo

On monday, I was in a little pain, and it really made me think - what the hell made this topic so taboo? What part of history just made it the worst topic?

Ok, so I had my period - and still do (4 days a month guys, no getting around it), and I just don't get the fuss. I mean, it's a bodily function, right? Albeit, with a slightly grosser product than urine, I'll give you that. But the fuss? I don't get it.

I've had conversations upon conversations with guys (AND girls) talking about pee, poop, vomit, sperm, ..... as soon as the word "period" comes up, everyone makes a face, plus their ears "lalalala - I can't hear you". Really? blood is grosser than poop? grosser than VOMIT? Don't even get me started on the grossness of sperm - I've been in conversations that included such sparkling phrases like "drop my load" or "squeeze one off" and have even been a party to the "never use the towel next to a guys bed" topic. Gross in their own ways, but hilarious nonetheless.... Does anyone not understand the hilariousness of uncontrollably bleeding for 4 days every month? I mean COME ON!!!!!

(I think it's a hilarious coincidence that today of all days my favorite humourous blog is dedicated to the internal lady parts - please go check it out and laugh!)

Busy, Busy, Busy

I often disparage others for not updating their respective blogs, but then I don't update for days and it's ok?

Alright, alright....
I spent all of May working on Throwing Heat, which closed on 5/30. I then jumped right into production meetings and planning for Video Project #2. The pics are from Day One of filming - we do our second day of filming this Saturday! :) Once the whole project is done filming and editing, I'll post a link to the final piece!
I'm running lights & sound for WNEP's 10th Annual SKALD this coming weekend, and I just booked a stage management gig for Trap Door Theatre's fall production of "12 Ophelias". I'm excited about the show and the process, and I'm hoping to blog more about it when we start up.

In between all of this, Sara's Uncle Dick passed away last week, so we had some very sad family obligations. Dick had had a hard time since his wife passed away just last year ,(http://allthingsdianna.blogspot.com/2008/05/stop-all-clocks-cut-off-telephone.html) so while it was very sad to see him go, we all knew he was ready. Funeral Mass and burial was this past Saturday, followed by the ubiquitous Polish pig-out meal (dude, pierogi, smoked sausage...yummmm). Plenty of tears were shed for Sara's only Uncle from her mom's side....but an equal amount of laughter and memories were shared. Sara'snfamily are some great people, and I'm always humbled and thankful for how much everyone has embraced me as one of thier own.

Florida or Bust? Bust....

A lot of folks knew (and some didn't, sorry), that Sara and I were completely planning on moving to Florida next year. When people said "Why?", our answer was simple - we desperately want to start a family, and houses are completely cheap down there, Sara has some family down there already, and I have some friends down there too. It all seemed to make sense for us - we wanted a nice house, the standard of living is lower down there, so Sara would be able to complete school only working part time probably, and there's a hotel from my chain located right there (we were looking at Tampa/St Petersburg). So, we started making plans - a time line to let jobs, landlord, and others know. We slowly started telling family, some friends. Everyone knew where we were coming from - they all said they'd miss us, but that they were glad we were making the leap.
We had initially made the "Let's do it!" decision late in February.
Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago.
Sara had done some thinking - she just couldn't see herself living so far from her sister, brothers and her mom & dad, especially if we have a kid. She was also really worried about leaving well-paying jobs up here (and good bennies), and having bad luck down there. She didn't want to go.
I was pretty crushed for a little while. We had been planning it for a long enough period that my heart was really set on it. I had been looking at Craigslist almost daily - seeing what kind of apartment deals could be had, keeping an eye on the job market, etc etc. I had myself on mailing lists for local theatres to keep my ears open for any kind of job opportunity. ANd now we weren't going.
After a period of morose-ness, I started feeling a little better.
I only had ONE BIG caveat when it comes to staying in Illinois.

I am NOT NOW, NOT EVER going to move to the suburbs. End of story.

One positive thing? I now don't need to "squeeze in" as many Chicago theatre jobs as posible before leaving (just for money's sake), and I can go back to being more selective. (Hence, my meeting tonight for possible Fall show - more to come), and also I can plan for other projects in the future (WNEP, I'm looking RIGHT AT YOU in regards to the Hopper piece...or, anything really)

That's it, I guess... no Florida.

Rob K brings the funny

It's been awhile, I know.

I've been enjoying some theatre-free time off, thankyouverymuch.

I had to break radio silence though to point out one of the funniest theatre related blog posts in awhile. Man, does Rob K hit the nail right on the fucking head. Read it, my theatre peeps and have a nice Friday laugh on me.


(fear not, 3 or 4 people who read my blog, I'm meeting with someone next week to iron out the fall show i'm working on. Until she and I "shake on it", I don't wanna jinx anything by talking about. It's looking to be a very interesting project, so looking forward to blogging on the topic - stay tuned)

Birthday, Birthday, who's gotta Birthday?

Well, 2 of my favorite peeps have a birthday today....



First off.... my MOMMA!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Ma! She doesn't read my blog, but I'm sending birthday wishes out across the interwebs in the hope that she will somehow know I'm doing it...







Second?
My good friend Mace!
In honor of the occasion, I have to re-post one of my favorite pics of us:
(yes, the labels are correct...we were totally drunk)

Growth and Moving on

Now, I'm not sure if one actually "moves on" from the death of a parent, but I guess finally this year, after 21 years of sadness, refelection, stories (and blog posts), May 11th kind of came and went.
Don't get me wrong - I thought of my dad. But the thoughts were quick and pointed. "Wow... 21 years" and "It's been so long - really miss you", and then my brain moved on. Not in a push the thoughts away kind of way, but in a Jed Bartlett-esque "What's next?" kind of way.

I think the point is that the DAY no longer holds the trauama it used to. When I was 23, for the 10th anniversary, I took the day off of work (I think for the 5 year we went to church and had a mass said?). I don't NEED those things anymore. My thoughts of my dad are now scattered throughout the year in a more reflective manner. I wish Sara could have known him, for one. I wish I could just hug him ONE MORE TIME.

My older brother Danny, is now older than my dad was when he passed. That always weirds me out a little. My dad was almost 36 when he passed away, and Danny is 37 now. I wonder at times how he feels and what he thinks about that.

Anyway... I guess the point is, my thoughts of Dad are a year long thing, and I'm thinking it's high time for me to stick a fork in May 11th. The date means very little now. It's those day to day thoughts that hold more meaning, not some silly date.

A while ago I set up my phone to post to my blog. This is a test, this is only a test.

Let's be clear...

.....I live at the tab labeled "A"......and "B" is the school with the first Chicago-land reported swine flu is located. I'm not afraid...not afraid at all....

::starts VIGOROUSLY scrubbing her hands::

How do we build a future from a present we didn't expect?

Last night, I attended an "open rehearsal" for New Leaf's new show, The Long Count. It was great - just a handful of us, plus the cast and a few of the New Leaf artists. First off, the Curator of the event, Marsha Harmon, spoke a little about the process so far, how the company had been writing and collaborating for awhile, then they cast the piece, etc etc. She also went through the structure for the night - they were going to warm up a little with a Viewpoints exercise, then work on one piece from the show, take a break, work on another piece, then questions (if you had them), and then close out the rehearsal.
First off, Jessica Hutchinson led the cast in a quick Viewpoints exercise. Now, lots of people have opinions on Viewpoints - whether it actually helps or not, etc... In this case, however, I think it was an invaluable exercise. Mostly, because of the style of the piece they were doing - the show is completely dependent about group dynamics, with movement, etc. And it was wonderful to watch a group of performers come together an work so cohesively - it set a great stage for the rest of the rehearsal.

Jessica then led the cast through a particular scene that they needed to work on - they ran the scene once with lights and sound - then they talked as a team and discussed new ideas, and new methods to achieve the look and feel they were hoping for. Then they ran it again, with the new ideas in place, and every one ended it with a nod of the head indicating "yeah, that feels so much better...".... I found I was nodding along with them, as both an observer and a participant.

We took a break (when the stage manager Rebecca said "Let's say 11 minutes then", all the folks watching said "thank you 11"...brilliant...)

Then after the break, Kyra led them through another scene to be worked. Again - ran the scene once with lights and sound, then talked about ideas to tighten up, etc etc, then a couple of trial runs to see if the ideas worked, then running the scene again.

When it was done, Marsha invited all of us to come together in the center, we made a circle with our arms aournd each other, Marsha took a moment gave some words of thanks, then we all took a deep breath in together, and then let it out together, cast & audience TOGETHER. Wonderful.


(And then we went to Stanley's and drank beers. )

Earth

In celebration of Earth Day yesterday, Sara and I went to see "Earth", the new Disney - Nature movie. It's sort of a kiddie version of the BBC "Planet Earth" series, if you will. The Planet Earth folks were involved (and if you're a fan of the series, there are a couple of filmed scenes that will look a little familiar). Most interesting to me were some of the time-lapse photography of how rain affects a dessert delta, or how the ice melts over a season. The animal stuff is great (particularly the footage of the humpback whales --- there was a preview on the film of the next Disney-Nature film for next year's earth day - a similar movie called "Oceans", and the whales figure greatly - very excited for that one), but some of the animal footage is similar to stuff I've seen before - the nature stuff was better, in my opinion.

Warning - even though there is a "G" rating attached, there are some definite "circle of life" moments, if you will.... so it might be scary to the youngest kids, so be aware.

Overall, I thought it was great. It merely scratches the surface in some areas, but it was still beautiful to watch. Plus, it's narrated by Darth Vader/Mufasa/God/Terrence Mann, so how can it be bad?

long in the tooth

Man - that last entry was long!

Well, Once I started, I wanted to be sure to say something complete about everyone - make sure it was all even and fair and such.

So, root canal happened - and overall it wasn't too bad. I was a little sore and throbby on Friday once all the drugs wore off overnight, but it passed by quickly - the only thing that was consistently sore was my jaw from the entry points of the anasthesia, not much else.

I'm glad I am a know-it-all who has to go online and see how something works before I try it. So, I already knew exactly what was going to happen to me. The process is still really WEIRD (the actual retrieval of your root - very sci-fi), but it didn't really freak me out. However, I can see how people who have no idea what is about to happen can freak out. Seriously, the process is totally sci-fi.

Anyway - my tooth feels great (for now) and I can chew on that side again, which rocks. I'm still taking it easy because I don't want to lose the temp filler thats in there, plus without the roots the tooth is technically dead, so its a little more fragile with chewing. When this is all over, I will most likely bite the bullet and get a crown - its a lot of money, but I'm more likely to keep the tooth if its protected correctly.

Now I need to move to the other side of my mouth and get another tooth removed.

(Can you tell I recently came to that "Why do I pay all this $$$ in dental insurance if I'm not using it?" epiphany?)

Then after that, I want to get on cavity and filling patrol.

I foresee a few more dental related entries in the future...

People.....people who need......people.....

As I was re-reading my post I just posted, I was looking over my blog layout, and I started thinking about all the people I link to..... ya know..... over THERE..-------->



might as well take them in order, eh?



1. Chris Bohjalian - fantastic author, just discovered his blog and added it a week or 2 ago - I keep forgetting to pop him toward the bottom in the "famous people blog" zone. SO, love his books (yeah, yeah, Midwives was an "Oprah" book - don't let that dissuade you. ) His blog is more topical, though, which I enjoy.



2. Sara - my love & partner in crime. She hasn't updated her blog in FOREVER, but she has to be there or else I'll get in trouble. (in fact, she SHOULD be first, hence the need to pop Bohjalian down a few notches.) Personally, I wish she'd use it to write again. When we first got together, she wrote poems (good ones) and hasn't in a long time. Well, now I've thrown the gauntlet and mayvbe she'll respond. We'll see.



3. Toxic Blog's Bag - written by my pal Joe Griffin, this is his production company. Joe's one of those "all around great guys" everyone should have in their life. But go find your own - you can't have my Joe. His list of talents and accomplishments are many. While lots of folks identify him as "sound guy Joe", he is first and foremost a talented musician. And yeah, he'll design sound for your show or dance program. But he is also a good friend. When I was younger, I always felt smart around some of my social circles, mostly because I was one of the smarter people there. Now - my adult social circles have me with people who are FAR smarter than I, and through I at times feel dumb in their presence, I heartily enjoy the conversation. Joe is one of the smart kids.



4. Brownlee? really, I have to talk about Brownlee?

Brownlee and I used to joke that we had the same brain and it was cleaved in half and seperated into the 2 of us. We usually think the same, and quite often when we're hanging out we'll make the same sarcastic remarks at almost the same time. Creepy, I know. Anyway - he's a funny guy, a good friend, a good writer and a fantastic photographer.



5. Don is the strangest mixture of person out there. He is the most lewd and crude and yet smartest guy I know. My "Bostonian language skills" (read: cussing like a sailor), are supremely attracted to his unique brand of blue humour. On a serious side, he's one of the most passionate artists I know. When he's involved in a project, he attacks it balls out (LITERALLY). I am both grossed out and in love with the guy. I heart Don Hall.



6. Jen Ellison. Dude, the chick makes me laugh. And she's SMRT. And we both like funky socks. And have shameful choices on our respective iPods. What's not to love?



7. Joe Janes is a brilliant comedy writer. We worked together last summer on Metaluna, and will be working together in next month's Throwing Heat at the Atheneum (plug). Another one - funny, smart, talented. He recently changed his regular blog over to a personal challege of "365 sketches". He's going to write and post a comedy sketch/scene every day for a year. He's on day 86 so far, which adds up to being almost a 1/4 done. He's the man.



8. Paul Rekk (AKA Bries Vannon). Bries and I worked on The Crucible back in the fall of '05 I think? It was an artistically awesome production to work on, and Bries was a big part of that. He's a great guy with some very thoughtful theatre discussion on his blog - love him.



9. Rebar - WNEP company member, she was also in Metaluna last summer. Her posts are hilarious, and I love her political points of view. She's a funny gal and I hope she follows through on her latest promise and posts more :)



10. Bob Fisher is a director & writer, founder of The Mammals and company member of WNEP. I've only met Bob twice I think? He was the director of my favorite piece at last summer's Raw series (Boneweaver), and he's directing some friends of mine in next month's Devil's Don't Forget, which I will unfortunately be UNABLE to see (pout). Great blog, cool guy. One of these days we may actually have a conversation :)



11 Dan Granata - thinking about his performance in Touch at New Leaf a couple of months ago STILL makes me misty. (I wrote a little about it here) . He's most well known for 2 things (in my head, at least). He's the boyfriend of my favorite Texan, and he co-founded the Chicagio Theatre Database. He's super smart, and a great guy.



12 Nick Kennan. Funny story, when Nick and I finally met face to face this past winter, the first thing I said to him was "man, I totally thought you were shorter". Am I a dork, or what?

Nick is taking the theatre world by storm, with his amazing sound designs (still can't get over how good Dining Room was...), his great theatre ideas (hence name of blog) and his involvement with the Chicago Theatre Database is awesome. He's a good guy to know - and again, like all the poeple listed above... totally smarter than me.



13. Diffraction - Beth Cummings. Beth is married to Regan Davis, who was in (you guessed it) last summer's Metaluna. She is not only a funny gal, but a talented artist (see items on her website), and she's a GREAT COOK!!!!!!! If you ever get invited to Regan & Beth's for anything, GO for crying out loud.... and bring and empty belly.



14. Rob K - Rob writes about theatre AND old films on his blog, which is great. Rob is one of those great online folks whom I have actually NEVER met face to face. And he's the only guy (other than Tony) who talks football on his blog too, during the appropriate seasons.



15. Bilal... I love that I follow Bilal's website (on old-school LiveJournal, natch), and we follow each other on Twitter (and comment back and forth to each other), and yet, have NEVER met face to face. I feel like it would be a tremendous let down for each of us - I'm not nearly as funny in face-to-face settings - so I think we should keep this relationship online.....FOREVER!!!!!
MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!! ok, enough of that.

16. GreyZelda - Rebecca, whom I've never met either, this is her blog for her company GreyZelda Theatre. She actually linked to me FIRST, and I was all a-flutter about it. Rebecca seems VERY cool, and I'm looking forward to meeting her one of these days.

17. Tony Adams - Tony is AD for Halcyon Theatre, and we've worked together (WAY back in the day). He's married to my old college buddy, who is the one who moved to Chicago with me in the first place. We haven't spoken in a long time (my fault - see my post that sheds light HERE), but I REALLY enjoy his blog - he's a smart guy and we used to have some great conversations about THeatre. Plus, he's a fellow Beastie Boys man.... I'll never forget the 2 of us rocking out to the Beastie's at he & Jenn's wedding. Classic.

18 - Chris Jones - Tribune Theatre Critic

19 - Kris Vire - TimeOut Theatre critic - this blog isn't affiliated with TimeOut, and Kris has some great theatre insights and info on his site.

20. My friend Stacy started a blog when she headed to Mongolia for the Peace Corps. You feel lazy now just because of reading that. Yeah, me too.

21. My friend Valerie started a blog to post all her travel pictures (her goal is to be on all continents before 30 - she's almost done). But then she wasn't able to update for awhile. She recently changed it over to be a "one great picture a week" kind of site, and she's doing great so far. She's a great photographer and she has the cutest damn dog.

22. Yeah, so this is Rosie O'Donnell's blog - yeah, so she's a little crazy, big deal. She does great work for the LGBT community, and she's a pretty cool role model. I love her....

23 Wil Wheaton - supergeek. His blog awesome, his twitter updates are great, too. He's developed into a great writer (I own a few of his recent books) and it's great to see a child star doing positive things with their life and not blowing it on Porshes, Red Bulls & drugs.

24. Margaret Cho. No explanation necessary, the woman freaking rocks.

wavering

I can't decide if I really do have an upset stomach right now, or if I'm nervous about tomorrow's scheduled part 1 of my ROOT CANAL.

I just took a couple antacids, and they seem to be helping, so we're going with "upset stomach" right now. Don't get me wrong - I'm still nervous about the root canal, but that appears to be a seperate irritation. I keep trying to tell myself that AFTER the root canal my tooth will actually feel better (i.e. I can chew on that side of my mouth again...), but thats hard to remember when the image of what they are going to do keeps going through my head. Best part? (if there actually CAN be a best part) I took the Friday off a while back for a tentative road trip - the road was cancelled unfortunately, but I kept that day off in place when I made the appointment for the Root Canal - I figured an extra day of rest would be great.
And by "extra day of rest", Sara interpreted that as "make appointment for cable guy because Dianna will be home". No worries, I will answer the door and happily say hello with a mouth full of gauze - sometime between the hours of 1-4....

huh?

I will ring in my inaugual April post with the following absurdity.

The name applied to the scent of my dish soap is beyond ridiculous.

Seriously, ALPINE PURITY???

I don't even want to BEGIN to know how someone comes up with that name. For reals.

things are A-OK

Work is doing ok in terms of business - one way they've been able to offset any drops in business is to have everyone use ALL of their accrued vacation days.

So now, I have to take a day or 2 off in April and..... I dunno.... go to the dentist?

I'm an "accruer". I enjoy watching the hours stack up, and then take a PLANNED vacation of a week, or a long weekend, etc.

The whole idea of "Uh, I guess I'll take off the 17th, and I guess the 27th", doesn't work well for me.

FIRST and foremost.... what the hell happens if I get sick and can't come in? I always like to have at least one day sitting in my "bank" so I can use it for emergencies. (If I have 6 days, I'll take a 5 day vacation so I have something left). So, I guess the practoce worries me about having a back up plan.

Although in the long run I should be pleased I have a job.
You know, one where I'm able to access Blogger???

Red Noses, and more

How cool does this show look? I'm ashamed to say I've never been to a Strawdog show, but the description of this show sounds so engaging!

I have a little time in April before my next show -- I think I need to cram some good theatre in there. This one is at the top of my list.

I also need to go see my favorite diminutive Texan in this


I won't be able to see D-Ray or Adam in THIS, becaue it runs during my show in May.
Maybe I can finagle my way into a rehearsal before I go into tech on the 27th.
(Bob Fisher, I'm looking RIGHT AT YOU)

I'd also like to squeeze in Bries-y in Prime of Miss Jean Brodie

Busy Busy Busy April!

the vague stops here

There's a subject close to my heart that I've discussed on my blog from time to time...
here:
http://allthingsdianna.blogspot.com/2007/08/regret.html
and again here:
http://allthingsdianna.blogspot.com/2008/05/want-to.html
and for the last time, here:
http://allthingsdianna.blogspot.com/2008/08/good-karma.html

Each time, I've been vague to the point of pulling my hair out - inserting vague pronouns, deleting names, being vague about the circumstance(s).

Well, I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm too old to be the "beat around the bush" gal.

Let me explain the posts once and for all.

The regret? I did something awful to my old best buddy, Jenn Leavitt Adams. I was trying to put into words (albeit, code words) how awful I felt about it and how there wasn't anything I could do. I was already toying with apologizing somehow back then, but was afraid that it would be too self-serving (or appear so), so I didn't.

Then, about 8 months later, I posted that I wanted to apologize again. I felt that it would still be kind of dumb. (more for me than for her, you know?)

That last post? "Good Karma"?
Well, I had finally mustered up the courage to email an apology letter. I also asked if there was anyway I could be a part of her life again?
And the spectacular thing that happened? Jenn emailed me back, and thanked me for apologizing. She didn't think we could be friends again, but thanked me for apologizing, nonetheless. While I was dissapointed that she didn't see us being able to reconcile, I was pleased that she had even taken the time to respond to me - something she had no need to do.


Now - we have a couple of friends in common (duh, theatre is a completely small world, so thats not surprising), and one of those friends, Kevin, was in the show I was just stage managing, and Jenn came last Sunday to our closing performance in support of Kevin. She brought along her mom, and another mutual friend, Jessica. Now, not wanting to make anyone's time uncomfortable, when the show was over, I just popped my head into the lobby really quick - gave Jess a quick hug hello and thanked her for coming. I didn't want to assume that it was at all OK to hang out and chat, so I was slowly inching back towards the theatre and out of the lobby when Jenn's mom Pat approached me from the side, and gave me a hug hello. In hindsight, I can say that I was so blown away by that, that I actually nearly fell down.
Meanwhile, while all this is happening, Jenn is in the bathroom. So basically, I'm just trying to say hello, and catch up before Jenn comes out of the bathroom!!! No, no - not in a bad way! Basically, I just don't want her to feel uncomfortable - and if she doesn't want to be friends, perhaps she'd react strangely? I don't know - I just wanted them all to have a good time and enjoy the show, and I didn't want my stupid drama to interfere with that.

Then Kevin comes over to say hello, so now all 3 of us are chatting, and then Jenn comes out of the bathroom - and all is good. Casual, catching up kind of conversation - the usual theatre banter "what are you up to?" "what's your next show?". Discussion, laughter, eye contact - all things that others take for granted and that I was relishing. I think I had a little diahhrea of the mouth for a few minutes, but all was good.

Jenn, Pat & Jess - I'm so glad you all enjoyed the show, and best of all it was LOVELY to see all of you!

Strangely interested

After watching LOST tonight, our roommate wanted to watch the latest episode of "The Real World" she had taped (yes,that show is STILL on...)
Well, there's a kid on the show who is an Iraq war vet, and the whole episode is dealing with him educating his roomies on The Iraq War, and what he went through. And it showshim learning about some different veteran groups and support groups.
Strangely proud ofMTV of having such a great episode.

Glutton

So here's what I usually do.

I do something dumb and hurt myself (slip, trip, fall, you name it), and I don't take it easy enough and my healing time goes slow (see last post...).

Then, as the twinges and pain subside in whatever area, and I'm on the road to complete recovery, I invariably re-injure the affected area and I'm right back where I started, and usually in more pain than when I started.

So....my hand.

My poor right hand.

Yesterday (for some reason - I have NO idea what I did), the joint of my thumb and my pointer finger started to THROB. And I mean, arthritic-style throb. I ignored for a bit because I figured it was a twinge or strain of some kind and would subside.
No such luck.
Hence one of the most tossy-turny nights I've had in awhile. So I can't sleep on my usual LEFT side due to the tattoo I got on my shoulder Saturday (story for another day, I promise), and I can't sleep on my RIGHT side, because I'm afraid of laying on my screwed up hand...
What's a gal to do?
I hate sleeping on my back, I never feel comfortable. And sleeping on my front doesn't work either (trust me, big boobs may be pleasant to look at but they are KILLER to try and sleep on).
So I sort of HAVE to sleep on my back. I curl my arm with my wasted hand up above my head, so that the useless appendage is resting on my pillow a bit.

And the throb continues.

I remember how good I am at mind over matter stuff - and I start to pretend I'm back in my Voice & Movement class. Laying flat on my back, eyes closed, with Patty DeLorey walking around saying softly "imagine that your ankles....are filled....with air...."
Instead, I'm quietly saying to myself "your hand is RESTING now.... its not moving.... the pain is going away.... the throbbing is subsiding..."

And it WORKED! just long enough for me to fall asleep an get an hour or two - then I'd shift in my sleep, feel pain in my hand, wake up from the pain, and then start all over again.

Now - last week or so with the healing of the hand the first go around, I would rest my hand from time to time, but I would still type and click the mouse with my right.

Not today - the first thing I did when I got in today was move my mouse over to the LEFT side, and used my left hand to click all morning. I was a ton slower than usual, but my right hand got a bunch of rest it needed. And I'm usually a "hunter - seeker" typise, so I just took my pointer finger and my thumb out of commission for the day...so far so good!
That, plus some Ben Gay and some ibuprofen.
There's still some pain, but it's way better than before.

If you look at the orginal post from when I slipped on the Ice, that happened almost a MONTH ago!

If when you next see my hand has been cut off in frustration, now you'll know why!

pain and stiffness

Thats gonna be the name of my new all-girl, alt-rock, lesbo band.

Oh, and it's also what I'm STILL feeling after my dork escapades with the sidewalk across the street from my house 2 1/2 weeks ago. Mostly my hand still hurts. It's supper hard to just rest the sprained wrist and hand when it is your dominant one and you sit at a computer all day- clicking a mouse with your dominant hand... vicious circle. Then yesterday, theExec. Chef, who had been on vacation, swung by my office to say hello to my boss, as he usually does every day but hadnt in awhile. He's a huge Yankees fan (and he's German, go fig), so we have this friendly baseball rivalry thing. He'll come in, shake my hand and say hello, then give me shit about fouling up the Teixeira trade or some other bullshit, and he'll laugh and walk on to my bosses office. SO, yesterday, he walks up - says "Hello girl", his usual hello to me, I'm not sure he knows my name, then reaches out his hand for our usual shake, and I reach out my right hand, and JUST as he starts to squeeze, I remember. And he squeezes my hand like he's making up for the 2 weeks he missed, dammit. Needless to say, it hurt so much I almost cried, and it throbbed for the next 30 minutes or so.

fuicking Germans.

Dork

Yesterday, on my way to work, I thought to myself, "wow, each winter, I usually slip and fall on the ice at least once, and so far it hasn't happened yet"

I shit you not, on my way home last night I was literally 100 feet from the front gate and I slipped on the ice and fell. I came down HARD on my right knee, then on my hip, and then a nice hard jolt on my right hand. Thankfully, nothing is broken, but man am I sore.

My knee is gonna look awful once the bruising develops. I got a scrape on the front, and some nice swelling on the side. The rest of my body is sore as well - kind of like when you're in a car accident and all your muscles are sore from the jolt.

The worst is my hand. I came down on the right side of my hand pretty hard. I've got some nice cuts on my hand, but the worst is the stiffness and the sprain. It hurts pretty bad, but without swelling, I assume no breaks.

what a dork.

Slow fade

No matter how much sleep I get, or how balanced my meals were so far in the day, I inevitably start the "slow fade" sometime around 2. It's 2:04pm right now, which basically means I'm ready for my nap now.
The crappy thing about it, is that the afternoon can tend to be some of the busiest times for me at work - I leave at 5 and there's always a hustle for the banquet staff or the set up crew or whatever to need something from me before I leave for the day. Labels, a room sign, blocking off a function room, you name it. Not time consuming things, for sure, but when it's during the "slow fade" time, I move as if I'm walking through peanut butter, albeit the non-salmonella kind ;)
I have a stack of files next to me that are about 8 inches high, and thats just the priority stuff. However, I think I'll just yawn a little bit and update my blog.

I went in on some lottery tickets with a coworker and about 5 others. You know how it is - anytime you hear about the winners of some multi-million jackpot it's always some crazy happy group of coworkers who won - am I right? So we feel we're increasing our actual odds as well as our Kharmic ones by going in with colleagues!

If I were a multi-millionaire, I would update my blog more - I promise!

It's actually a little hard to know what's the first thing to do if I were to win. I mean, it's not like there are a lot of SOUND investment opportunities out there right now. Obviously, a house would be paramount - but where? If Sara and I were in a "money is no object" situation, I'm not sure Chicago is where our home address would be. I love California, but who knows?

I would most certainly quit my day job, but would ABSOLUTELY still do theatre.

And... I think I'd follow the Red Sox on the road a little...

34

According to Wikipedia, some interesting things have occurred on Feb 6th, also know as the day of my birth. For example, the 20th Amendment went into affect, Queen Elizabeth II's reign began, and the Munich air disaster happened - where 23 people died including 8 of the Manchester United team players. Some pretty interesting people passed away on this day, including King Charles II of England, Pope Clement, the great Arthur Ashe, and of course, Der Kommissar himself, Falco. (that song's now gonna be in your head all day today. you're welcome.). The most varied and excellent list, though, are the myriad of souls I share my birthday with. Bob Marley, Ronald Reagan, Eva Braun, Axl Rose, Babe Ruth, Francois Truffaut, Rip Torn, Kathy Najimy, Rick Astley, Ty Warren. My personal favorite? Tom Freaking Brokaw.

My cup runneth over

I ate so much food yesterday, all Super Bowl related. Here is a list of what we had:
Veggie Tray with Ranch Dressing
Veggie Dip with Triscuits
Chili Dip (layer of Cream cheese, layer of chili, layer of shredded cheese, then bake it)
Nachos with refried beans, black olives, shredded cheese, spicy nacho cheese & jalapenos
Hot Wings & Blue Cheese dressing
Home made Buffalo Chicken Pizza (AWESOME)
and then Frosted Brownies for desert!
And, my drink of choice was Bloody Marys!

Whats on tap in the lunch room today?
Chili

I can't even stomach the idea of SMELLING chili right now, let alone eat it.

(By the way, congrats to The Steelers! What a great game to watch!)

Almost there

So, I'm feeling a bunch better today.
I slept a whole bunch and I'm feeling well rested, which is a great first step.
I had no plans, which are my favorite days. Those are the days when I catch up on TV,a movie, and completely "veg"out in front of the laptop. And I did all of those things and it felt GREAT. I caught up on Top Chef (it's so OBVIOUS that Stefan is going to win!), I re-watched LOST (I mean that show can always use multiple watchings...), "Goodfellas"was on - who can resist?
Once Sara got home from work, we watched some Law & Order SVU and played each other in Scrabble on Facebook.
It was lazy and wasteful and I loved every minute of it!!!!
We leave for vacation in exactly 1 week- boy, I'm gonna need it!
This coming week is gonna be a little tight, too.
I have rehearsal tomorrow (then Super Bowl). Work Monday, no rehearsal. Work Tuesday, rehearsal in evening. Wednesday I'm off work and rehearsal but I'm working all day at the Chicago Public Radio annual gala. Mad props to Don for the gig. Then I work Thursday, have a benefit to attend that night for LS, then work Friday - and Friday is MY BIRTHDAY!!! Then, we leave for Florida first thing Saturday morning.
So, no rest this week either, but almost to vacation!

Trust me, I was touched

Last night, I joined Jen, Dave & Jen's sister Amy to go and see New Leaf's production of "Touch". When the show was over, we were all smushed into Amy's car, and Jen asked all of us what we thought - we all agreed that we needed some time to let the show "marinate" in us, if you will.

For me, the answer is simple and yet complex. I loved it and hated it equally. I loved the show and the performances were absolutley outstanding. I hated that it completely knocked me sideways. I cried throughout most of the show - I'll drop the tears on movies and even commercials for crying out loud, but it's rare to find a theatre piece that moves me as much as this one did. Which is funny, when you think about how I've always pursued the theatre life, and never tried to do any movie work, etc. I mean, theatre is my life of choice, my adopted family that always hugs me and tells me that I rock. Why had nothing ever affected me like this before? Without sounding trite, perhaps my heart was waiting for the perfect confluence of events to spill forth ragged tears of sorrow.

(**if you haven't seen the show and plan to, I plan on discussing details - you were warned**)

I can pinpoint the moment I started crying. Kyle tells the story of how his beloved Zoe one time came over to where he was sitting one night, amongst a group of friends, and didn't simply sit on his lap, but curled up ON HIM. She then told him that she loved him "...in front of other people!"
I couldn't help it - the intimacy of the gesture just filled my heart to overflowing, and i started to cry.

The loss and pain that Kyle dealt with during this journey was so overwhelming, that I felt overwhelmed for him - I wanted to hug him, and yet knew that my gesture would accomplish nothing, as his sorrow was too great.

There's a beacon of hope for Kyle at the end. Things aren't perfect, and never will be (how honost is THAT), but there is HOPE, which is very important.

Jen dropped me off at the red line, and I sat on the train, listening to melancholy music as I usually do, but this time it MAY have been a mistake. I bit the inside of my cheeks from Sheridan all the way to Jarvis to keep from crying. As I got off the train and made my way down the alley toward my house, the music shifted to The Beatles "Yesterday". It made think of Sara, she's the one who has turned me on (late, i know) to The Beatles, so all their music makes me think of her by default.

I quickened my pace - it was FREEZING, by the way, which is in and of itself depressing. With a heavy heart, I did my usual nightime routine. Put out my bag, keys, clothes for work. Kept holding it in. Got into bed. Sara came in a little later, slid in beside me. I held her tight, as if I thought she might not be there when I let go. I tried to explain why I was so melancholy, and for once she didn't call me a nerd for crying about something I saw. I tried to impart why it had affected me so deeply, but I'm pretty sure I was just yammering.
She held me close and then kissed me tenderly while we made love in the dark.
I told her I was so sorry for being so out of sorts, and she just held me and stroked my head while we fell asleep.

My heart still aches today.

Well....whaddya know....

Whether or not I step in a 4 inches deep freezing, slushy puddle is greatly dependent on whether I decided to wear my sneakers or not when leaving for work.

I did.


and....I did.

(stupid soaking wet sneakers.....)

Who are you trying to kid?

I thoroughly enjoy using the "self-checkout" aisle in pretty much any store. I enjoy the control. I swipe things in the order I want, I fill the bags correctly (bread on the TOP, thank you), and I can go as fast or slow as I want.

The Jewel at Grand & State is right by the train station so I go there a lot- yogurts and juice a couple of times a week for breakfasts at work, andalso veryconvenient for grabbing something on the way home from work for dinner.

I did both today- I was out of yogurt so I grabbed some on the way in, and I swung by after work because I was jonesing for mac n' cheese (sue me).

Both times, I got in the (very short) line by the self checkout aisles.
BOTH TIMES, someone just wandered in front of me ,camein from theside and attempted to go to the next open spot.
Both times, I said "exscuse me- the LINE is right here"
Both times, they said "what?"
Both times I repeat,"The LINE is RIGHT HERE"
Both times, I get the stink eye.

My point?
Who goes into the supermarket and just expects there to be no line for something?
I mean, what planet are you from?

(And before you ask, YES, I always point out when someone cuts in line. I'm an asshole like that.)

Seriously?

I mean, could we have a more douchebag governer?

What a fucking idiot.

The Blue Sack

My buddy Joe gave me the title.

Blue Man gave me "the sack"... witty, isn't it? :)

Oh well, I can now say "the current economic crisis has affected me". The silver lining is that I only worked there part time, and I do have a well-paying day job, so money-wise, we're ok.
But, I loved working there, and I'm going to miss it terribly.

Anyone out there looking for a house manager for their winter show?
Or a Stage Manager for their Spring one?
I am clearly available.

side note

Let me preface this by saying that I love Obama as much as the next democratic guy.

But....

Is it so wrong to want Jed Bartlett back in the Oval Office?

"....I'll be watching you...."

Jen Ellison has officially thrown her hat in the ring as my stalker.

Is it any wonder why I didn't stay after the show on Friday?:)

Don't you worry, stalker-girl, I'll probably be coming to see the show again.

Babies, Babies, everywhere...

While I know that my well wishes are not terribly welcome, I can't help but give them.
Mazel tov and congrats to Jenn & Tony.

Get off your ass...

...and fucking go see Schmuckt Die Hallen RIGHT NOW.

placating Joe

I've been instructed to post. Post I shall.

During my blog "downtime" I have actually been writing, I've just been doing it in a journal (you know, those antiquated blank notebooks that you write in, you know, with a PEN)

As I mentioned in a previous entry, I'm more of a "jotter" than a writer. Here are some of the jotted highlights from the interim journal.

10/17/08
* (on the train) Actually just had someone nudge me in the back to push me toward the door - even though there was obviously people crowded in frontof me - and OF COURSE there was no "excuse me".

10/18/08
* The ratio of crazy people to normal folk in any CTA setting is much higher than in regular day to day life, in my humble opinion.
* Jeff Tweedy from Wilco came to Blue Man. This would have been far more exciting for me if I actually listened to their music - or better yet, even knew what Tweedy looked like. Still, interesting for a regular old boring Sunday @ BMG.

10/22/08 (I had actually made a note that gas was 3.25/gal.....it's 2.22 now)
*So, the song on the iPhone flipped to "Don't Fear The Reaper". Now, talk about a song that got ruined by comedic circumstances! I love the song- and I always have. Remember, Nancy was a young mom - Danny & I listened to a lot of 70's rock stations growing up. As a consequence, I heard plenty of Blue Oyster Cult (and Queen, which is on now...). Now, as an adult I have always associated the song with Six Feet Under. Great show, great song. Then Ferrell had to go and take out that damn cowbell.

PRETTY much says it all

(stole the image from Wil Wheaton's site, which he stole from elsewhere)


Ok,thats it....I promise...
No posts in 3 months, and now 3 in one night

DADA Friday

I'm going to opening night of WNEP's newest DADA show- "Schmukt Der Hallen".

Metaluna wasn't scary because I was in the booth, but for this one I'm in the audience.
Jen Ellison is totally gonna fuck with me.

"Now the first of December, was covered with snow..."

James Taylor songs always make me think of Jenn Leavitt Adams.

Good Karma

Yesterday was a good karma day.

Something spectacular happened - it's a little bit personal, so I'm going to keep it to myself for a bit, but suffice to say I feel like a million bucks because of it.

(and no, Sara is NOT pregnant)

color me confused

The Presidential race this year has had its share of ups and downs.... I believe I even said here on the blog that I was predicting a Romney vs. Clinton showdown... what a difference a few months makes, eh?

Those that support John McCain, while I don't agree with their views, I understand their need to stick with a conservative, like themselves.

Those who are supporting Obama (like myself), I obviously completely understand them.

You see, Barack was not my first choice. I found him a passionate guy, but I didn't know a lot about him.
My guy was Joe Biden - I have always loved his straight-forward talk. Sure, he's had some foot-in-mouth moments - haven't all politicians? He gets to the point, and he doesn't fill it with an over abundance of scenery-chewing vocabulary (**coughcoughJOHNKERRYcoughcough**). Joe had to bow out of the race a little early - he didn't get any kind of support during Iowa, so he set aside his campaign and got back to Delaware. My focus shifted to John Edwards, whom I have always admired. His positions were very similar to mine and I loved his commitment to the working poor - there was no one else making the promises he was. Edwards dropped out just before Super Tuesday, which is when Illinois votes in the primary.
Now, Sara and I were set to be in LA visiting my cousin Martin during that week, so with my absentee ballot firmly in hand, I pondered the list on the ballot.
John Edwards was actually still listed, having dropped out too close to Super Tuesday to actually be taken off the ballot. As much as I loved Edwards, I didn't want my vote to be wasted.
Next choice? Hillary Clinton. I have never been interested in Hillary - just a personal thing. I don't dislike her or anything vicious like some other people say, I just have never "warmed" to her, I guess is the word. Good legislator? sure. Great leader? ehhhhh....not so sure.
So this left me with one choice - Barack Obama. I put my "x" in the box, sealed the envelope, and dropped it in the Mission Viejo, CA Post Office.
Over the coming weeks and months, I found myself listening to Obama, and listening hard. If this was going to be my guy, I needed to know more. The things I have seen and heard have inspired me. He's a "lifter-upper", he can stir your emotions and get you thinking that YOU can indeed accomplish anything. And then when he's done speaking, you think about the MEAT of what he said - and you agree with him and see that his ideas have so much merit and he's so ready to be the arbiter of change.
Watching the Obama vs. Hillary stuff play out was painful to watch as a democrat. To watch the party become divided, especially over something as stupid as someone not knowing when it's the right time to leave? infuriating. The vitriol coming from Bill? It killed me. Bill was my guy, I voted for him. It wasn't like he was talking about a political rival, it was like he was talking about someone he HATED. It was awful.
Once Hillary bowed out, and after taking some time and throwing her full support behind Barack, it really felt as though things would turn around....
And then the rumblings began.
I started hearing about people who were Hillary supporters were going to vote for McCain.
I'm sorry....what?!?!?!?!?!?
Are these people even AWARE of what they're voting for? Because while understand the "nyah, nyah, nyah" motivation a bit, I wish these people would realize that not only is it a slap in the face for Barack Obama, its a SLAP IN THE FACE TO HILLARY. You are considering voting for the man that she RAN AGAINST... don't you understand how fucked up that is?
It's so screwed up, I can't even come up with a decent analogy to it!!!!!!
If Obama isn't your guy - I get it.
But if thats the case DONT VOTE.

wait, wait, I have the analogy. Remeber "Friends" when Chandler wore Joey's underwear and then Joey put on ALL of Chandler's clothes???? The entire argument started when Joey took Chandler's seat. Then Chandler took the seat cusions away.

Voting for John McCain is like taking the seat cushons away. In practice, it's a great way of saying FUCK YOU to the guy sitting in the chair, but then you're left with a couple of cushions and no chair to sit in...how stupid is that????

HOORAY

Wow... IT Department at work does one Security patch, I restart my computer and VOILA - I am able to VIEW everyone's blogs again.....

AND NOW I CAN POST AGAIN!!!!!!!!

Fuck yeah!

hellooooooooooooo

Criminy!

I haven't blogged since before we opened! Now it's AUGUST for crying out loud!!!!



Well, we opened, and had some good reviews and some great ones - the audiences just LOVE the show. Well, some people seem to not be sure exactly what they saw but they know they were entertained and thats good enough for me!

I'm going to be really sad when this show is done - I love working with these folks, and its great to work on a show that doesn;t BORE you by week 3. I'm not involved with WNEP, so the only way I can work with them again is if they ask, so here's hoping they do that!

We've only got 2 weekends left, and I'm actually only there for 1 or 2 shows this weekend because I have a prior commitment (family in town), so I have only about 4 or 5 shows LEFT! Boo!


Well, in other things - busy, busy, busy.... working at Blue Man pretty much anytime I'm not at Metaluna, and also working the day job - it feels like Sara and I haven't hung out in eons!

HERE WE COME!!!!

Don took some great pics last night at "Metaluna".

Here' s a great one of the cast (minus our 2 fab-oo understudies)

(there are some more great ones on his BLOG)

We had our first of 3 previews last night - and things went REALLY well. It was great to finally put it in front of an unsuspecting crowd. There were a couple of SUPER minor hiccups, and the cast made it look like everything that happened onstage happened for a reason.

Two more chances to see it for 5$, tonight & tomorrow night, then we're off on Thursday (not me, though - I have to work at Blue Man of course!), then we OPEN ON FRIDAY!!!!!

Can't even describe...

...how much this show is gonna blow your fucking mind...



....but it will....

(tickets are on sale now, mutherfuckers...)