Auditions are Dante's unknown 9th ring of hell

Don has listed some audition tips in today's post.

Here are some more.

1. Don't tell me this is "the part you[ve always wanted to play"
I had 3 chicks tell me at Crucible auditions "I've ALWAYS wanted to play Elizabeth Proctor".
That's AWESOME... thank you for sharing....NEXT!

2. Don't try to be OVER nice to the auditor out front (me).
I'm a cynical asshole, and I don't take kindly to flirting.... oh, and by the way cheesedick, I'm GAY, so put it away and waste your masculine wiles on another chick that cares.
Thank you...NEXT

3. Ladies - wear underwear.
I shit you not - last full audition I sat through when I was directing, I was flashed 3 different times by 3 different leg-crossing chick auditioners. Trust me, I enjoy the view, but it makes me forget what character qualities I was looking for. "Wait... what show am I directing again????"
Thank you again ladies.....::wink, wink::..... NEXT

4. Be prepared to do anything with that "great" monologue you have in your back pocket.
I've asked people to do it WITHOUT the blocking they've set up, and it totally throws them..... really people?
Best audition ever - the director asked the audtioner in question to do his monologue as a gorilla - to free his body and get him doing somthing totally out of the ordinary.
He did the best fucking gorilla I've ever seen, and it in some ways IMPROVED the monolgue.
Needless to say he was cast - and I've worked with him twice since then and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. (Moral of the story: Paul Fagen does a MEAN gorilla. SO cast him, already!)

5. GET A NEW FUCKING PICTURE
I KNOW that headshots can be expensive - but isn't it worth it if you can actually get roles because people look at your picture later and say "Great audition - great picture".
Now don't get me wrong - I've never been in the room and had people say "that picture sucks - there's no way I'm casting them", but if there's a chance we would look at the picture later and not recognize you, shouldn't that be a sign that you need new ones?

As a CONSTRUCTIVE point, I would encourage actors to try sitting out front during an audition and checking in people, or sitting inside and watching auditioners just a couple of times in your life. It will help you make smarter decisions IMMEDIATELY.

I promise.


(oh, and Red Sox won yesterday, so I'm in a chipper mood!)